10 Things Every Woman Should Not Get Married Unless She Has Done

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black-married-coupleBy Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses

Marriage may not be for everyone but it certainly is a very serious life decision. Below are the things that every woman needs to experience before she gets married:

1. Fall hopelessly, helplessly, madly in “love”

Every woman needs to know what it feels like to be “in love” (although this is more like infatuation). She needs to know what it feels like to wake up every morning and the flowers smell sweeter and the sound of birds chirping is like music to her ears.

2. Get your heart broken

The sad part of mistaking infatuation for love is that it eventually ends up in heart-break. The good news is that when a woman’s heart breaks, she will realize that she can pick herself up and she will be stronger and wiser.

3. Travel

Every woman needs to experience the freedom of travel. Maybe it’s just across country and to a few states or maybe it is across continents. Whatever it is, it can be a wonderful journey of self discovery. It is also more simple when a woman is single because once marriage and children come along, it may not always be as simple, easy or affordable.

4. Get an Education

When you tie the knot, make sure it is after you get a good education. First of all, research has shown that the people with the highest rates of failed marriages and relationships are those with the least education and the highest rate of poverty. Also, getting an education gets more complicated after getting a husband and family.

5. Have an 0-r-gasm

Get familiar with how things work “down there”. Don’t be shy about  discovering yourself and what it takes to please you.

6. Party all night or all weekend with your female friends

Being in a great marriage or relationship is good but make sure you have your fun and you know how to enjoy the company of other women.

7. Get Clear About who you are

Get clear about who you are and what you want out of life. Know what you value and what your core beliefs are. When you join your life with another person you have to know who you are in order to know if you’re with the right person.

8. Get clear about what you want

Do you want to live in a city or in the country? Are you open to living with family members or is it a deal breaker? Answer these important questions before you get married and make sure you and the person you’re marrying are on the same page.

9. Decide if you want kids

Many women assume that they want kids but some women just either don’t want children or really shouldn’t have children. Make sure you think seriously about it and make sure you marry someone who feels the same way as you do.

10. Decide if you want to get married

Don’t get married because of societal pressures. Marriage can be great but it is not for everyone and it is important to know if marriage is really something that you want.

Nomalanga helps Black women thrive in their lives and careers. She is a Social Commentator, an Editor at Your Black World , a former College Professor and Mrs. Botswana. Visit Nomalanga’s Facebook page or Follow her on Twitter

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20 Comments

  1. Awesome!!! Great!!! ARTICLE!!!

    Let the realization of the truth finally STAND-UP.
    If I had the chance to do it all over again from the age of 18 /19 I would follow the directions of this article…

    • I agree with Kienna…buy a house or rental properties as a single woman, and once married, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, PUT THOSE PROPERTIES IN YOUR HUSBAND’S NAME.

      • I guess if you can’t trust your husband to have something in his name and he can’t trust you to have something in yours then it’s pointless to be married. Example of a person that is not ready to be married. You all are 1, and if you mean forever, then why is that a second guess or would you feel like you can’t do that. I trust my husband 100% and I know he feels the same. It doesn’t matter who do what as long as it gets done. We too caught up in being happy to worry about who got what in who name. His credit is my credit, vice versa. When you feel like that and that’s how you live, saying something like and make sure you don’t put something in your mate name sounds real petty. I hope many others finds real love like this one day. It starts from the heart, not money, kids, situations, careers, purely the heart. You appreciate your mate more when you two build a life together instead of coming together ready made in all aspects. Love and Peace to all

        • I totally agree 100%. All my husband and I had was our love. We now have more than we ever could imagine back then. 20+ yrs and still madly in love.

        • Love your comment! I would love to ask you a couple of questions I’m a young black woman on my own journey to marriage; I am always looking to talk to with other older married women for advice can I email you or message you on FB?

  2. SAMUEL BENJAMIN on

    SOUNDS GREAT; BUT I DIDN’T HEAR, SHE SHOULD LEARN ABOUT THE LORD, BY READY HER BIBLE ONE CHAPTER A DAY.

    I DIDN’T READ THAT SHE SHOULD PRESERVE HER VIRGINITY FOR HER HUSBAND; RATHER THAN GOING OUT THERE AND DEGRADING HERSELF WITH TOM, DICK, AND HARRY.

    I GUESS SHE SUPPOSED TO DO IT BACKWARD : BE A WHORE FIRST, BEFORE SHE BECOME SOMEONE WIFE? WOW.

    • *******LMBO*******

      OMG!!! Mr B. you are so right on-time, that should have been at the very top of the list!!! OOps!! we gotta go re-do the whole list all over again…wink!!
      Okay girls lets get busy being about our fathers business.. Raise your hands up for any subjestions plezzz… Thank you Brother S. Benjamin

  3. Mr. Benjamin thank you for your words. GOD should be first in every persons life. What is life whithout HIM? Sad,empty and meaningless in my opinion. People we need to love ourselves the way the LORD instructed in HIS WORD by obedience to HIS WORD!!

  4. Miss Crystal on

    Ok although I am a believer that there is in deed a higher God….everything doesn’t have to be about religion. If you are a devote CHRISTIAN, BUDDIST, MUSLIM what ever you follow…that would have been a GIVEN. SMH and think…just think for a second, that RELIGION is Bible and Church. Being close to God requires you to….as the list prescribes, one to learn about themselves, experience the life we are blessed with and make the DECISION, again something God has given us not only the freedom, but also giving us the responsibility.

    At the end of the day my God wants me to be happy, and blanketed with LOVE for all things, and people. A lot of preaching people, speaking for God quick to forget that.

  5. While this article is excellent. What about the women that didn’t follow these instructions, for one reason or another and now they have a child or children, back in school to further their careers and distance themselves from poverty?

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