After you have been with your partner for a while, you don’t feel the need to show them as much affection to let them know that you love them. But there comes a point where you may be doing harm to the relationship. How do you know when it’s time to start showing your significant other a little more attention?
During a recent study researchers had 36 people keep journals for a week and record every time that they held affection from their partner. The reasons that they stated for ignoring their partner ranged from not wanting to smother them to punishing them for something that they had done. The most common reason was because they didn’t want to seem clingy or needy.
In most of these cases when people withheld their affections, it was for simple reasons such as they didn’t feel in the mood or they didn’t want to smother. Doing this does not hurt the relationship as long as it is not done too much. However when people do it to hurt or punish the other person, it can break the bond that you share. They will not get why you are doing it, especially if you are doing it to test them, and it can lead to a breakdown in the relationship.
Another bad habit for couples is playing it too cool too often. It will seem to them like you are no longer attracted to them and could make them think that you are cheating on them. It will harm you too because affection is great for the body. It helps to lower blood pressure, cortisol, and heart rate, among other things.
When you find yourself holding back on giving love and attention, catch yourself and stop to think about why you are doing it and when the last time you showed affection was. If it has been too long, look past your reasoning for not giving them love and just do it. Recognize that using this to punish someone is not a constructive way of dealing with any problem you might have.