By: Serena Crawford
After a bad break-up people tend to do a few different things. Some decide that they are done with dating for a while and they take the time to focus on themselves. Others get back into the dating pool but only for casual dating and don’t look for anything serious. Then there are those who jump quickly into another serious relationship because they feel like they can’t be alone and need another commitment immediately. These are called rebound relationships. Before you jump into something too soon there are a few questions that you should ask yourself so that you can make the new relationship a sincere and lasting one:
1. Why am I really getting into a new relationship? – Think about it and be honest with yourself. Are you just looking for someone to fill the space in your heart that was left when you broke up with your ex or are you really looking for something sustainable?
2. When was I done emotionally with my ex? – Even though you may have physically broken up recently that doesn’t mean that your emotions were still there. If you feel like you haven’t been in love with the other person for a long time you are probably ready to get back into a relationship.
3. Am I really over my ex already? – If you still think about them all the time, bring them up in every conversation, and think about getting back together with them you are not over them. It is not a good idea to get into something with someone new at this point because you will not be able to develop strong feelings for them and commit to them fully.
4. Am I trying to prove something? – Are you looking for another partner because you are trying to prove to yourself and to others that you are still a lovable person? Being single doesn’t mean that you are not desirable, it just means that you are looking for something that you haven’t found yet.
5. Am I running from something? – You will most likely feel hurt, angry, or sad when your relationship ends but trying to be happy with someone new to repress those feelings is never a good idea. Deal with the painful feelings first and then you can heal and really make an honest go at being with someone else.
6. Why did my previous relationship end? – If you don’t fully understand or take the time to think about what went wrong in your last relationship you could end up making the same mistakes in the new one and the cycle will continue to repeat itself.