Divorce is a terrible thing no matter who you are, but for a parent it is much worse. Splitting custody is heart wrenching for children and parents alike. As a parent who is in a divorce, you must be able to work with your ex and think about the children more than yourselves to help them adjust to a new way of life. Here are some of the things that mothers should never do in a divorce.
1. Don’t panic! Go online and do some research about divorce, custody, and child support. Speak with a lawyer to get their professional opinion on how the process goes and what you will need to do.
2. Try not to do a free consultation with a lawyer. Lawyers who are being paid and believe that they can keep you as a paying client will be more likely to give you better advice on the situation.
3. Don’t borrow money from family members for the lawyer. Save them as a resource until later down the road in case you need it for something really important. Borrow against your house if you can or use a credit card.
4. Don’t let your ex-spouse intimidate you. Don’t settle because he is making threats or telling lies about the process. This is where educating yourself on the process comes in handy. If everything is a split down the middle, the lawyers will get together and figure out the terms.
5. Don’t run to another man. Even though you may be in the process of divorce, you are still married which means an affair would still be considered just that, and adultery on your record could be really costly in the end. It could turn an amicable divorce into a nasty one quickly.
6. Don’t demand a bunch of money from him until you have a budget in mind. Create a spreadsheet or a list that will point out exactly what you need and why so that you have a clear and concise number in mind and they will see that you have thought it through and aren’t just looking for money.