Often times when a marriage fails one partner is quick to blame the other party and take no responsibility for their part in ending the marriage. There are some things that will kill a marriage quickly but one party doesn’t realize it until the marriage is over and they look back and really think about what their part in the relationship ending was.
Writer Sloane Bradshaw was one of those women who felt that her husband was completely to blame for the divorce because he cheated and left but then realized that she played a much bigger part in the end. This is how she did it:
1. She emasculated him all the time – She spoke about him to her friends in a demeaning manner. She would complain about him all the time and tell her girlfriends about the things that he did that she thought were wrong or things that he didn’t do. Sometimes she would do this in front of him leaving him feeling hurt and embarrassed. She said that she treated him like he was a child sometimes. He eventually began to pull away and she began looking for every little fault that she could find.
2. She would put their children above all else – In a marriage you need to realize that yes, your children are important, but your spouse is important too. Instead of sitting down and talking with her husband about any problems they may be having she would be off with the kids giving them treats and taking them to fun places.
3. Instead of letting out emotions, she would ball them up – This is not a good way to deal with negative emotions that you may have because they will build up until you are bursting with negativity. When something finally sets all of that anger and hurt off there is no holding back the rage that will ensue. The fight will be much bigger than it needs to be and can lead to the words, “I want a divorce.” Once those words are said it is hard to turn back.
4. The in-laws – In-laws need boundaries. If they don’t have any they could invade your life. Not all parents are like this but many will stop by all the time, try to help with whatever they can, and give unsolicited parenting and marriage advice. This can be very grating over time.