Emotional Intelligence: How To Let Go Of Grudges


Young African-American womanBy Staff Blogger

When someone does something wrong and causes you harm or hurts you emotionally, it can be hard to forgive and forget. You could hold a grudge for a long time and make the other person miserable to try and seek revenge for how they made you feel. All you are doing is hurting yourself, in the end. Here are some great ways to help you get over the grudge and move on with your life.

1. Take control of your life. You need to be able to get control of your mind and put yourself into a place where you are ready to let go of the grudge. Don’t wait for the other person to apologize; this gives them control over the situation.

2. Forgive and forget for you, no one else. For your own sanity and well-being, just drop it all together. You are not letting them off the hook for what they did. Some people may not deserve forgiving, but you are keeping the past as just that and focusing on the present and future instead.

3. Take a little walk in their shoes to try and understand why they may have done what they did. You may get a better grip on the situation.

4. Acknowledge how you are feeling about the situation at hand. You won’t be able to let the grudge go until you are truthful with yourself about how it really made you feel.

5. Get some help and support from outside sources such as other friends.

6. Forgive the person out loud. You don’t have to say it to them directly, but you need to speak the words in order to get it off of your chest and out into the open.



  1. Dr. Boyce Watkins and Ms. Yvette Carnell are more than ever engaged in a discussion of topics that are both important and of great interest to our African-American community! Keep up the amazing work that you are now doing! However, Dr. Boyce Watkins needs to stop introducing Ms. Yvette Carnell as "My partner in crime, Yvette Carnell!"

  2. Renee Aldridge on

    Yeah some times this pill is hard to swallow but if I do not let it go then it will continue to make me feel sad I have been praying for a longtime now, but every time I try and move on it seems like I allow whatever it is to affect me. I am tried and really want to let go!!!

Leave A Reply