“Fat Girl” Advocate Reveals The Things No One Tells “Fat Girls”

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downloadBy: Krystle Crossman

It is hard when you are overweight. Society has programmed us to think that only skinny girls are beautiful and that is that. However for those of us who feel this way, Jes Baker has something to tell you. Fat girls should love themselves no matter what. It’s okay if you have a little extra on you. It doesn’t make you any less beautiful or less worthy of love, especially love from yourself.

There are many different things that overweight women either will not admit or refuse to accept because they believe that they are overweight and that is all people see them as and nothing more. This is not true however. Everyone, even the skinniest of skinny girls, has fat rolls when they bend their stomachs. There is no way to avoid it, it is a part of our body.

You do not need to go overboard with exercise in order to feel good about yourself. While getting exercise is definitely important you shouldn’t have to feel like you need to do it every single day just so that you can feel good about yourself. You can still be committed to becoming healthier without overdoing it.

You are beautiful no matter what your shape is. You are beautiful because of what your shape is. True beauty is on the inside and your personality will go a long way in how others view you. Obviously outside appearances are important to most people, but how you carry yourself and how you feel about yourself can boost your attractiveness to others.

Finally, Jes states that yes ladies, even if you are overweight it is okay to be in love with yourself. You may not think that you should do it because society tells you that you need to change who you are to fit it, but it is okay. Fall in love with who you are and even with your body the way it is. You are going to be in that body forever even if it changes over the years, so love it no matter what it looks like.

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19 Comments

  1. We also need to take into consideration that the “experts” are using one standard “a white male” and they are not taking into consideration race, color, creed, ethnic background, etc. There is no cultural diversity in the health field. Most cultures in the world prefer a round woman. It is a sign of health and beauty the world round. It’s the United States that has created this obsession with being thin.

    • Sarah / Great Article
      I agree with you. I understood what the article was really saying, but some people only think and receive with a one track mind.
      The author didn’t say not one time: *don’t take-care of your health, he was saying: Love yourself regardless of what other people say about you, because love covers a multi-tude of things.. and for many black-women struggling with obesity this is an important message, and if you are seeking God for help and answers to your problems with obesity his first rule of thumb is healing our emotions first.
      A women who loves herself from with-in is more healthy then a women with the bomb body who looks to only attract what the eyes can see.
      A women who is truly in-love with herself will automatically want to treat her body first class.
      God didn’t create all women to look the same, its all about eating healthy foods and getting the proper exercise at least 3 to 4 days per week without over excelerating your body and burning yourself out. Example: I gained more weight from NOT-EATING… I became deadly ill from cutting out CARBS for 2 whole weeks. Dieting is not good for the body because it destroys the heart. It is better to learn what foods to eat and what foods you can’t eat, and healthy profitable ways for food preping (no salts / No Glutens / No sugars / No white flour and dairy products) if at all possible and if your not strong enough to stay away from those foods then just walk it off on a walking trail or some sight-seeing adventures, but bottomline listen to the article (LOVE YOUR-SELF / Top Priority) and it will take you to where you need to be health-wise.

      Important Note:
      If a man can’t love you unconditionally for your true beauty on the inside, he won’t truly love you once the weight is gone because all he sees is $ex & Lu$t of the flesh, a token on his arm for his no-good friends to gawk at, especially many shallow-minded African American Black-Men, just ask Haley Berry and many others… *Do your research ladies and use the brains and woman’s intuition God gave you…

      A.G.A.I.N….!!! Great Article!!!

  2. Great. Another article encouraging fat women to not exercise and just love who they are. Why shouldn’t they workout everyday? Why would any man that is physically fit want an obese woman who sees no need for physical fitness? It’s stupid. Yes. She should love herself, but she should also be willing to BETTER herself-mentally, physically, spiritually. Being “round” is NOT a sign of health. Obesity is a HUGE problem in the U.S., ESPECIALLY with black women. It’s killing people, causing heart problems, diabetes, etc. This article is irresponsible, inaccurate, and just encourages the current stupor of obesity that plagues black women today. 70-80% of black women are obese, and you think that’s ok? Leave it to black people to encourage disfunction and unhealthy lifestyles. This may be one of the dumbest articles I’ve ever read.

    • Great response. Im so sick of people promoting and encouraging laziness, sloppiness, recklessness, eating poorly, just to embrace what is clearly and scientifically deadly. Not only is it a selfish concept/theory but it cost more money to maintain and then ultimately to fix (health issues/time in Dr.’s care.). The older you get the harder it is to fix, mentally, physically and financially. Parents should learn so they can teach children healthy eating to avoid this. Big is one thing, fat, obese, sloppy is another. The size of your stomach compared to your body size is the quick easy indicator. STOP FOOLING YOURSELF WITH THAT TINY FACE MIRROR. GET A FULL SIZE MIRROR AND STOP LYING &HIDING FROM THE TRUTH!. Beauty is not limited to a cute hair style nor does it camouflage overwhelming problems.

  3. Good article. This society has a standard of beauty that was determined by whites, specifically white males, and they prefer the slim, boyish figure on women. That is why this image is forced on everyone else as the most beautiful and desirable body a female ‘should’ have. This is why ‘overweight’ women are ignored, disrespected, and rejected by so many men. They have been heavily influenced by this destructive standard that disrespects overweight women’s feminity. Men are generally conformists and do not think independently, even when their own personal feelings might tell them something entirely different from the prevailing attitude. Overweight women have to protect themselves from all the emotional and mental abuse that can destroy their self-esteem as women.

    • Mela
      Great post! Truth be told: many white men know how to love black women unconditionally, because they really do see the beauty from with-in and many african american women are enjoying more healthy relationships and marriages outside of our black race with white-men.
      White men don’t dog out sisters behind obesity, they love them unconditionally into their journey towards healthiness.
      They take the time to guide them and teach them healthy techniques towards more meaningful healthy attitudes.
      Black-men are not the only creed of men God created on the face of this earth. I’d love to see more of my sisters dating outside the black race, because we miss out on so much getting caught-up into American color barriers.

      • @ No Hope – white men “know” how to “love” black women? Really? Since when? Because while white men might be bedding down black women, I dont see white men lined up around the block propsing marriage to black women. The white man doesnt “love” black women, they love using black women as belly warmers. White men arent checking for obese women of any race. How about this, how about we start LOVING OURSELVES enough to eat healthier and hit the gym? Obesity isnt beautiful, its a problem that leads to severe health problems. No excuse for 70% of black women to be obese. This “article” doesnt help black women who are obese…an article on how to lose weight and get fit. As I stated earlier, people who truly LOVE black women do not LIE to us. People who love us tell us the TRUTH.

        LIE: Obesity is beautiful
        TRUTH: Getting and staying healthy and physically fit is beautiful.

        REAL TALK if I was obese and my man kept telling me I was “beautiful”, and never called me out on my weight, never put his foot down and said, look baby you HAVE to lose that weight, I would leave him. I would take his silence about my weight as not giving a sheit.

        People who truly love us tell us the truth about ourselves no matter how much it might hurt.

        • @Devon / aka: Tania Dow
          I remember you braggin in your post that your were born and raised in NJ /The Eastcoast. Well young sister I live on the “Westcoast” where multi-culture relationships and marriage is a big thing.
          There’s some fine-a$$ white men out here in my neck of the woods that are wifen sisters 90 going north, and their all (BELLY-WARMING) each other.
          These white brothers are doing everything (GRAND) for our sisters that our Black men won’t do and many can’t do. You must have never been to a Robin Thicke concert nor spent any real time on the westcoast before! matter of fact I have a girlfriend who moved from L.A. to Balti. MD was married to a white brother and they had a set of twins, and told me about the Robin Thicke concert on the Eastcoast, so you must have been sleeping.
          There are also white brothers on the westcoast wifen sisters who have children by black men who won’t even claim their own kids.
          Sisters on the westcoast get the (RED-CARPET TREATMENT) from the white brothers, and I’m not trying to put black men down, I’m just speaking FACTS. Girlfriend you speak more statistics then you do facts and your only 25 years old.

  4. These “love yourself no matter how obese you are” don’t help obese black women they hurt them because….

    1-they lose the motivation to try and lose weight and get trim and fit.

    2-70% of of black women are overweight/obese. With obesity come a slew of medical problems; hypertension, diabetes, joint problems, more prone to strokes and heart attacks

    3-Obesity is not attractive.

    If these blogs really have the best interest of obese black women, they need to stop LYING to these women and start creating blogs with information on how to get started on a food plan and exercise program that will help them lose weight.

    I know the big women are probably swooning over this “article” but please understand this: the TRUE ENEMIES of black women are the people who LIE to us, no matter how big or bad our problems are, no matter what foolishness and dangerous, self destructive behavior (or behavior that is destructive to our image or to other human beings) we engage in.

    The people who TRULY LOVE US, will NEVER LIE TO US. They will ALWAYS tell us the TRUTH!

    That is REAL LOVE.

  5. WELL TO BE FULL FIGURED AND SASSY SEXY IS ONE THING BEING OVERWEIGHT IS NOT GOOD FOR ANYONE!WOMAN WHO ARE OVERWEIGHT KNOW IT AND MUST NOT THINK THEY CAN’T BE LOVED ,BUT I WONDER HOW MANY ARE LOVING THEMSELVES?AT SOME POINT IN TIME YOUR HEART AND OTHER INTERNAL ORGANS ARE SCREAMING STOP HELP AND THEN ITS TO LATE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE HOST OF OTHER ISSUES AND THEN HAVING TO TAKE MEDICATION{TOO MUCH OF ANYTHING NOT GOOD SO MY SISTERS STOP TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF AND START LOVING YOU BY BEING HEALTHLY ,GOD BLESS FOR NEW YEAR VAL

  6. And what is there to “teach us”?? If youre obese you change your eating habits and exercise. Are we grown women or are we small children who need to be coddled or hand held?

  7. I love a pleasingly plump woman, what else is there, especially if they are fine”ooh wee!!!. skinny or thin woman remains me of a man I think a man should have something to hold on to.especially if she’s fine,ooh wee!!!

    DONE.

    • ed wright…

      I know that’s right ed… LMBO!!! I’ve ran into plenty black men who love them some thick sisters… They have this QUOTE: LMBO!!! *(Having a skinny women is like giving a bone to a dog, all he gonna do is dig-a-hole and bury it)… LMBO!! and I’m not trying to beat down my skinny sisters, but its different strokes for different folks.

  8. This article is ridiculous, absolutely insane! As others have commented, why encourage Black women to behave in a way that leads to an early grave? What does being fat say about anybody? It says that you are lazy, irresponsible, frustrated, self-hateful, extremely low self-esteem, and that you are committing suicide! It is also saying that you have a foul odor. Fat women, do what is necessary to lose the flab. Nobody feels sorry for you, in fact, behind your backs, people are mocking you. Don’t make excuses for your flab, just get rid of it!

    • Speaking of fat women…. we show got some big-a$$ flabby-a$$ brothers out there too… so don’t get this bull$hyt all twist up okay… the article might be about girl / but the brothers OMG!

    • Ronnie H.
      and I don’t prefer skinny-a$$ black men with no booty, no legs, and be-be balled nappy-hairs on their chest. I don’t like men who pi$$ all over the d*mn toilet, and splatter walls like puppy-dogs, blow their d*mn boggers all over the shower-walls, can’t cook, can’t communicate with a black women, just can’t plain see in their own d*mn funky mirrors that their sorry a$$ fall short too.
      Sisters can put it out there too, and I be d*mn if I don’t come across fat ball-headed brothers with low-self-esteem too. Its a 2-way-street, but I’m just sayin…wink!

    • Ronnie H.

      I sure hope that your conveying this same exact message to all your Nasty black foul flabby over-weight brothers too. You know that Ugly bullshyt runs on both sides of the fence… and you nasty mother-hubbard’s like to jump all in a sisters face like that stanking shyt is alright… huh really!!! and while your at it and this to your list: I can’t stand brothers who pi$$ & splatter all over my toilet seat and walls, and the same goes for blowing your nasty boggers all over the shower-walls or in a public place with no tissue, scratching yo sweatty-a$$ balls in public yall’s nasty ways are just fricken endless. You guys just perpertrate class 24-7… so please brother lets add all of the above to the list because sisters do deserve better too… ooh and while your at it (wash your own filthy dishes & pickup your own funky drawls from off the d*am floor and put them in the hamper because cleanliness is next to Godliness… SLAM BOO!!!

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