Five Reasons Why Beyonce (Or You) May Want to Forgive Her Father

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by X-Man

Nobody knows the details of what happened between Beyonce and her father Mathew Knowles. But one thing that people do know is that Mathew recently got remarried and neither Beyonce nor Solange decided to show up.  Beyonce clearly has issues with her father, and is probably upset with him for cheating on her mother.  But instead of cheating, would it have been better had Mathew just left her mother years ago or never married her in the first place?

Not everyone lives the life of Beyonce, but there a lot of women who’ve chosen to hate their fathers for one reason or another.  Using Beyonce as an example, I’ll lay out some reasons why she might want to consider forgiving her father and letting him grow old in peace.   There could be lessons for everyone, especially those who’ve decided that daddy is the devil and mama is the angel, which a lot of people seem to believe these days.  Here are some reasons that Beyonce might want to cut Mathew some slack:

1)      He gave you life:  He’s your father.  He’s not perfect, but neither is your mom.  He’s the reason you exist, and he could have been doing a lot of other things with his time besides coming home to a family every day.  A lot of men don’t even bother.

2)      Without his business know-how, you wouldn’t be who you are today:  Beyonce is great, but we can’t pretend that Mathew wasn’t critical to training her, positioning her, and giving her a chance to be on the big stage.  He paid for all of those years of voice lessons, drove her to talent shows and invested heavily so that she could have the life she has today.  Now that he’s no longer useful, this doesn’t seem to matter anymore.

3)      He provided for you for over 20 years:  Twenty years of paying the mortgage, utilities, and lunch money adds up. Parents don’t usually get credit for the sacrifices they make for their kids.  It’s kind of like when a man uses a woman for her body for 10 years and then throws her out so he can be with someone else, that’s probably how Mathew feels right now.

4)      You’re probably getting one side of the story:  If Beyonce’s mother Tina is crying in her ear and sharing the family business, it’s probably making the girls feel that they have to choose sides.  This is a bad move in divorce.  Most adult relationships are complicated and kids have little understanding of the nuances, such as intimacy issues or baggage that the parents might have.  So, instead of accepting that her parents’ relationship is just as complicated as the one she has with Jay-Z, Beyonce probably sees things in an overly idealistic framework.

5)      Forgiveness is bliss:  Despite her father’s imperfections, Beyonce is probably better off forgiving.  If she holds onto this grudge, she might see Blue Ivy hating her father 30 years from today.  These things pass from one generation to the next and we have to break the cycle.

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19 Comments

  1. Collegiate African American on

    Forgiveness is hard but you have to forgive and move on. I believe she has forgiven her father. That does not mean that she has to be in his face or around him. She has moved on with her life and wished him well in his.

  2. A conundrum indeed. Today him, maybe tomorrow her. That's why it is necessary…not easy…not pretty necessarily. I suggest to the readers here "No Future Without Forgiveness" by Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa. It dealt with what happened in the aftermath of apartheid in the 90's. Three great men in Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu, and F.W Deklerk had to decide upon the best way to heal a broken nation….a nation whose very citizens had atrocities visited upon them by the citizens in power. Collectively, they knew it couldn't be vindictive in nature, in a national court , or even the World Court. So they decided upon a Truth Commission where the perpetrators of the most heinous atrocities in recent history would sit down at the table with the perpetrated upon to both seek and offer forgiveness simultaneously….a table of tears so to speak. This commission was chaired collectively by these three men and a few more of like stature. It drew out for more than 5 years without prosecutions in a court of law. People needed to know how their loved ones met their end, an only those across the table had the answers. When a person has wronged another, he knows this, and has to face himself daily, and conscience is no fair weather friend. She must forgive him so she can realize her full potential beyond entertainment. There is more gain it for her than she can ever imagine…as for Matthew it would be some relief….but conscience…no fair weather friend at all. As a human being and a father, it the least, and most she can do for him…….She'll be the bigger person when it's all said and done.

  3. She may want to forgive him for her emotional sense of well-being, but forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. She may to want to move on. If they decide to reconcile, all the better.

    And while none of us know exactly what happened between them, "he gave you life," raised you, wiped your ass as an infant, didn't deliberately let you starve to death, didn't up and flee when the pregnancy test came back positive, etc., are horrible reasons to feel compelled to forgive someone. Every dysfunctional/abusive/whathaveyou parent gave their children life.

  4. Trina Runnels Holloman on

    You don't know WHAT QueenBey & Solange have in their heart. You can forgive & be at peace & just not have someone be a part of your life. Beyonce is on a WORLD TOUR with hubby & baby in tow. Solange also has a life, sings, tours the world & models also. STOP SPREADING UNSUBSTANTIATED stories of family discord!!! It ain't nice. If you wanna talk about FORGIVENESS THEN DO THAT…. Use YOURSELF as the example, not somebody you don't even know.

  5. Actually he quit his job and the mother supported them all including investing her money in the future of the group! Second he slept with a back up dancer impregnated her and lied to them(all the while they had his back) until DNA said you are the father! He even tried to get a girl group started out of England(another Destiny Child) and had a reality show done about it! His mistakes are so public but I say It is their relationship and what ever they decide I am praying for them all!

  6. Julian Longo on

    This is a story written by someone writing for Beyoncé's father's PR firm. Divorce is as common in America as Apple pie. What's going on with the Knowles family in this realm should not even be commented on. President Kennedy had a headache if he did not screw a different woman every night, but nobody commented on it. The same should apply to the Knowles family. ~ julian

  7. What? This article is crazy. Yes he gave her life and helped get her career started but trust and believe he was paid well for his management of her and as for blaming the mom for crying on their shoulders they are adults and I'm sure they know the truth about that whole situation. Hell I'll be pissed he took Tina's youth and made a baby with someone else. oh yeah someone he didn't marry so I guess it's possible he might have been out there cheating for awhile. Whatever has happened with his relationship with his girls he has done it to himself. By the way I'm sure Tina made some sacrifices for her as well…. took her to auditions, paid some bills, etc. As for a generational curse please, Maybe Jay Z wont be unfaithful and give his child a reason to disown him.

  8. It is possible to forgive someone but not be involved with them. Perhaps they have forgiven him but do not want to be involved in his mess. As a father, he did what he was supposed to do, better than most. As her business manager, he did what he was supposed to do and was paid quite handsomely. No, we don’t know what his wife did. I would think by now that if she had done something awful, we would have heard about it. Maybe, if he had divorced his wife because she did something bad, maybe his daughters would be mad with their mother. Anyway, we are just spectators trying to figure out somebody’s business.

  9. It seems as if he’s moved on—and always has been moving on——I suggest B and the rest do the same—–They have never been able to stop him from his pursuits, and neither will not attending his wedding—–he is a Adventurous person who loves CHANGE—-Hope this article is fake so we can all eat our words SMILE!!!!

  10. Sorry, X-Man. You have not convinced me. If Beyoncé’s father clothed her , fed her and paid the mortgage for 20 years, he was supposed to do that. In the meanwhile, he was getting big bucks from being her manager. No pity or understanding here for a philanderer.

  11. Who really cares?? The things that he did for Beyoncé and Solange was no more than he was supposed to do. The majority of the male population are cheaters. What’s done is done. The earth is still on its axis. This is really no big deal.

  12. LayLay Russell on

    It's none of my business how they feel about their father. You can love someone and not LIKE them. Perhaps they feel this way about their father. You can forgive someone, but distance yourself from them. Maybe that's what these women have done. He isn't perfect, nor are they. The fact is the author of this article DOESN'T have knowledge of the inner workings of ANYONE'S mind in that family. It's none of MY business to comment any further than that.

  13. DoverDavisJr on

    Paul said,”When I was a child, I thought as a child, I behaved as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things. The same applies to women.

    When they grow up they should put away childish things and a childish thing is the need for parents, mother or father. Beyonce has a child and a husband. If she has God he is her father. Her biological father has done his job. She is a beautiful and sucessful human being.

    Her feelings of anger and hate will only damage her life and turn her away from God. Her father is living his life.

    Although this might be hurtful to her mother, Life goes on and is short.

    Beyonce, her mother and her father should make the best of the days that they have remaining on this earth and learn, however difficult it might be at this moment, to love one another.

  14. Sylvia Butler on

    I would find it hard to go to my my fathers wedding too, if my mother was still in love with him or she is hurting or embarrassed.

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