Nobody knows the details of what happened between Beyonce and her father Mathew Knowles. But one thing that people do know is that Mathew recently got remarried and neither Beyonce nor Solange decided to show up. Beyonce clearly has issues with her father, and is probably upset with him for cheating on her mother. But instead of cheating, would it have been better had Mathew just left her mother years ago or never married her in the first place?
Not everyone lives the life of Beyonce, but there a lot of women who’ve chosen to hate their fathers for one reason or another. Using Beyonce as an example, I’ll lay out some reasons why she might want to consider forgiving her father and letting him grow old in peace. There could be lessons for everyone, especially those who’ve decided that daddy is the devil and mama is the angel, which a lot of people seem to believe these days. Here are some reasons that Beyonce might want to cut Mathew some slack:
1) He gave you life: He’s your father. He’s not perfect, but neither is your mom. He’s the reason you exist, and he could have been doing a lot of other things with his time besides coming home to a family every day. A lot of men don’t even bother.
2) Without his business know-how, you wouldn’t be who you are today: Beyonce is great, but we can’t pretend that Mathew wasn’t critical to training her, positioning her, and giving her a chance to be on the big stage. He paid for all of those years of voice lessons, drove her to talent shows and invested heavily so that she could have the life she has today. Now that he’s no longer useful, this doesn’t seem to matter anymore.
3) He provided for you for over 20 years: Twenty years of paying the mortgage, utilities, and lunch money adds up. Parents don’t usually get credit for the sacrifices they make for their kids. It’s kind of like when a man uses a woman for her body for 10 years and then throws her out so he can be with someone else, that’s probably how Mathew feels right now.
4) You’re probably getting one side of the story: If Beyonce’s mother Tina is crying in her ear and sharing the family business, it’s probably making the girls feel that they have to choose sides. This is a bad move in divorce. Most adult relationships are complicated and kids have little understanding of the nuances, such as intimacy issues or baggage that the parents might have. So, instead of accepting that her parents’ relationship is just as complicated as the one she has with Jay-Z, Beyonce probably sees things in an overly idealistic framework.
5) Forgiveness is bliss: Despite her father’s imperfections, Beyonce is probably better off forgiving. If she holds onto this grudge, she might see Blue Ivy hating her father 30 years from today. These things pass from one generation to the next and we have to break the cycle.