Healthy Love: How To Find Love On-line & Avoid The “crazies”


black_woman_computerBy Lori Hardy

Unless you are without a computer, a cell phone or you are a hermit, you know that social media has taken over in just about every aspect of our lives, especially dating.

The inception of the Internet was taboo as far as dating was concerned. Individuals had the idea of a serial [email protected] or k!ller on the other end and the Internet couldn’t be trusted. Even though it’s a possibility that you could encounter a [email protected] or k!ller online, it does not mean you should totally dismiss the idea of finding a compatible partner online. You just need to be careful how and what you divulge about yourself and anyone you care about.

With that said, there are so many individuals that have taken dating on the Internet as a contest instead of a conquest (I use conquest loosely). I have seen individuals post old pictures, fake pictures, no pictures, inappropriate pictures. All designed to capture the attention of a particular individual or as many individuals as possible.

I have said from the beginning and I believe it still holds true today. “If you pretend to be someone you are not, you are missing out on the person who is looking for the person you are.” It amazes me how people so easily like to deceive potential partners online, which has created the new term “cat fishing”.

There are numerous and similar stories out there about how people have either found their true love or experienced meeting the worst person in their life. As I said previously, the Internet shouldn’t be dismissed totally, but you should use precautions to reduce or limit the deceitful people you may encounter. Below are a few things you can do to prevent the dreaded Internet Insidious.
1) Always, always, always, make sure they have a picture posted. People who post their photos usually don’t have something to hide nor are they involved or married, usually. Also, make sure the photo is current. As I said before, people post false or outdated photos to make them look more appealing. You want to know who you are dealing with in the beginning. If they don’t have a photo posted, they should be willing to submit one to you. If they are not willing to submit you a photo, you should end the conversation with them immediately.

The only reason I could think of an individual not posting their photo (which happens to be a true story) is the example of a famous actor who went online to search for a mate and didn’t want to be hit up by a whole lot of people. That is understandable and that should be the only reason for the omission of a photo.

2) Be careful as to what information you divulge about yourself and your family to the potential suitor. You never know the intentions of the person on the other end. Identity theft and child p0rn0graphy is on the rise.

3) After weeks (or whatever timeframe you feel comfortable with) of engaging in conversation, you should meet them in a public place. You want to be able to see if that person posted a current photo and if you are attracted to them physically like you are emotionally.

4) After meeting, you should take your time to get to know the person, preferably in person, so that you can gage if their actions meet up with their words. By all means, don’t keep engaging in conversation online or by text. If you live too far to meet frequently, you should at least be having telephone conversations. It’s very hard to determine what is being conveyed through text messages and the Internet.

Lorie Hardy is the author of “There Are No Good Men Because There Are No Good Women”. She has a passion to empower women and children in all aspects of life. She is a weekly guest on the “Straight Talk” Internet show. She is a writer and director. Visit Lorie at,, or on twitter @empowermnt4life


Leave A Reply