Healthy Relationships: Opposites Attract…NOT


Joyful  black couple lying on grassBy: Krystle Crossman

Paula Abdul performed a song about opposites attracting. Many people say that opposites attract and are great together but recent studies are showing that this logic may not be true at all.

Data from the eHarmony Compatibility system was taken and analyzed to show that people who were more similar were a much better match for each other than those that are opposites. They looked at thousands of couples to see exactly what it was about those who were opposites that made them so incompatible. In the beginning of the relationship they may be attracted to each other but ultimately ended up imploding.

If you are an introvert, you may be attracted to someone who is an extrovert. Their confidence and ability to make friends in social situations takes some of the pressure off of you to meet new people. However as time goes on the introvert may find that their partner is always going places without them because the introvert doesn’t want to be around a crowd which is where the extrovert is most comfortable.

Another situation where opposites do not work is when someone is dominant and they are with someone who is submissive. The dominant person may be happy in the relationship but eventually the submissive person will grow tired of always being bossed around and the relationship will become troubled.

If you are looking for someone to date you, should look for someone who has a similar personality type to yours. While in the beginning someone who is the opposite of you may look good, in the end the clashing personalities will most likely make for a very unhappy relationship.



  1. “Many people say that opposites attract and are great together”! I have heard opposites attract, however I have never heard “they are great together”!
    Times change and people change. When I got my divorce from my wife each of had changed. I have never stopped respecting my wife and the last time I talked to her she did not resent me. We just moved away from each other!

  2. It’s only common sense, that people who are similar will get along better, long term. Can you picture a KKKer marrying a member of the NOI?

  3. I would have to disagree me and my husband is opposites and have been married almost 25 years. With my weakness he uplifts me and his weakness I uplift him. It’s not that opposites don’t attract and or not compatible, your spouse is to compliment you and you are to compliment them.

  4. I question any study conducted by eHarmoney. I am not comfortable with their level of bias. I would also question their motivation for discounting individual choices of mates or dating partners. Moreover, I would also have to read the methodology on how the study was conducted, as an indicator of adherence to scholarly work.

  5. I don’t need studies from anyone to know that fire and gasoline don’t mix……or that oil floats atop water…..or that cats and dogs can’t mate…LOL.

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