Healthy Relationships: The Secret Ingredient For a “Delicious” Marriage

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redvelvetcakeBy Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses

I was baking and had the thought that when you bake a cake, there is always a possibility that it can turn out delicious or it can be a big flop. As a Life Balance Expert, when talking to different women about how they balance their lives, marriage tends to make up a large part of the conversation.

I genuinely believe that if you’re going to be a successful Mocha Mogul – an Entrepreneur woman who successfully balances marriage, motherhood and moneymaking™ you have to make sure your marriage is not a big flop. If it is, it is unlikely that you will achieve your goal of having life balance.

Much like when baking a cake, in order to make sure it is not a big flop, you must start out with the basic ingredients, like flour, eggs and sugar. How much sugar you add depends on how sweet you and those who will eat the cake like it. Marriage is the same in that there are some key ingredients, like both partners being fully committed, being loving and kind to one another and being intimate.

The mistake that many women make is that they start “baking” without actually taking the time to consider what kind of “cake” they want and then complain that it is a big flop! The best advice I ever got about marriage was that, in any given marriage, the experts are always the two people in the marriage. Many people run out to buy books, read articles and even attend seminars about marriage and relationships and miss the biggest step which is asking your spouse what they want – that is the secret ingredient! The secret ingredient changes based on who you ask and if you’re in a marriage, the best source for that key ingredient is your spouse. Just ask.

You see, for a person who likes their cake extra sweet, a perfectly lovely cake with a moderate amount of sugar may seem delicious to most people but to them, it may not taste delicious because it is not sweet enough. Even if you had the best chef prepare the cake, without that critical piece of information, the cake could still be a flop for that one person with the extra sweet tooth.

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1 Comment

  1. The simple fact that you are baking puts you ahead of a lot of black women. Most men want the same three things, to be well fed, a freak in the bed, and a clean home. Accomplish these three things and there is nothing a man won’t do for you.

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