Healthy Relationships: What Makes $ex Satisfying


satisfied coupleBy: Krystle Crossman

A new study out of the University of Toronto has found that your reason for having $ex can affect how satisfying the experience is. The paper was published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin and was authored by Amy Muise. She looked at two different reasons that people have $ex:

– “Approach” – This reason is for experiencing pleasure and increasing intimacy.
– “Avoidance” – This reason is for goals such as not disappointing your partner.

Muise found that these motivations were very directly related to the amount of satisfaction the person got out of having $ex.

During one experiment, 517 people were recruited. These participants had been in a $exual relationship previously. They were given eight different scenarios that could come up with a couple. In some of the scenarios one partner had s*x with the other so that they could feel closer to their partner. In the other scenarios, the partner was having $ex because they didn’t want to disappoint their partner; not because they wanted to. The participants were then asked to rate their partner’s $exual satisfaction, their relationship satisfaction, and their $exual desire on a scale of 1-7. The answers showed that the participants felt that people who had $ex with a partner to be closer to them would be more satisfied in their relationships and in their s*xual needs.

In another experiment, 108 heterosexual couples were recruited and completed a background survey and a 14-day “daily experience” study. This study showed that those couples who engaged in s*x with “approach” goals were more satisfied than their “avoidance” goals counterparts.

To sum up, this research is showing that you will be far more satisfied if you have s*x with your partner because you want to, not because you are afraid of what will happen if you don’t.


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