How Ambition Can Destroy Women’s Lives

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bossBy Staff Blogger

Having a successful career is something that many dream about. If you are not mindful however, you could get sucked into a pit of your own ambition and never make it out again. You need to make sure that you balance the rest of your life with your career or you could end up losing more than you bargained for. If you are not mindful with your ambition, you may climb your way to the top and be left extremely unhappy.

Esfahani Smith has been taking in research on the tradeoffs that we all make between ourselves and our careers. The research that she is looking at shows that ambition can get in the way of relationships with others and leave us feeling lonely. This study is not the only one that has had these results either.

Tim Kasser, a psychologist, has research that shows that ambition and the pursuit for more money often comes at the expense of everything else in life, such as family, friends, and other relationships. He says it can lead to distress in the individual’s life and a lower well-being.

Writer Steve Errey states that our brains are not made to place ourselves in the social and career-oriented pecking orders, so when we pursue these positions and set goals that are too high, it makes it that much worse when the goal is not achieved.

When setting a career goal for yourself, honestly think about how much you can handle, and based on experience and know-how, what you can actually achieve. Once you get there, you can set a higher goal if you are comfortable, but nothing that is unobtainable. When your ambition drives you, always remember that there are things that may be lost such as relationships and you must prepare yourself for that.

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12 Comments

  1. Theartistformerlyknownas Heifersaywhat Johnson on

    This article wreaks of a double standard. Last I checked, ambition wasn't picky about gender, race, religion or anything else. To me this article is basically saying, it's okay for me to exhibit such and ambitious behavior because society encourages it. but with women, we still see you as "kitchen and bedroom" people thus your ambition is messing up the family unit and makes everyone resent you. Your job as a woman is to sacrifice for everyone else and not be selfish like men are allowed to be.

  2. “Whether you think you can or you think you cannot, you are right.” Our mental attitude is the most important tool we have and such sabotaging talk, as portrayed in this article, is a threat to our capabilities. I find this post to be extremely disappointing! I have always had extremely high goals, like many, many other women, and today I am very successful, like many, many other women. Yes I have sacrificed a lot along the way, but the return – freedom to pursue the lifestyle I choose, the ability to be inspirational and a mentor to other women, the possibility to be a positive role model for my daughter, and the fulfilment to give back to the community at large – are beyond worth it. I am a successful business woman, yet I cannot cook, sew or bake a cake very well. I run an international company with affiliations in 25 countries and although it is demanding I am still there to pick up my daughter from school three days a week, help with her homework and read our daily mother & daughter devotionals every single morning. Te drawback is that once she is in bed I go back to the office (at home). I have supported myself since I was sixteen years old. The road was never easy, but it was my larger-than-life dreams and ambition that kept me alive, in school and at the top of my game. If I can do it anyone can and we should not be demoralized by such double-standards as portrayed in this article. Women have choices and whether we chose to stay at home, to work, or do both we can. Whoever reads this article, please tell yourself that you can be who you want to be. That your brain is just as capable to achieve as a man’s brain is. Do not be brainwashed, pleased.

  3. This is such a bullshit article… basically saying that women, especially black women are not worthy of success and ambition. Funny how you never see any articles like this about men or non black women.

  4. “Whether you think you can or you think you cannot, you are right.” Our mental attitude is the most important tool we have and such sabotaging talk, as portrayed in this article, is a threat to our capabilities. I find this post to be extremely disappointing! I have always had extremely high goals, like many, many other women, and today I am very successful, like many, many other women. Yes I have sacrificed a lot along the way, but the return – freedom to pursue the lifestyle I choose, the ability to be inspirational and a mentor to other women, the possibility to be a positive role model for my daughter and girls in countries where their options are more limited, and the fulfilment to give back to the community at large – are beyond worth it. I suppose this article presumes that all women are good cooks and could knit a sweater with their eyes closed. Well I am a successful business woman, yet I cannot cook, sew or bake a cake very well. I run an international company with affiliations in 25 countries and although it is demanding I am still there to pick up my daughter from school three days a week, help with her homework and read our daily mother & daughter devotionals every single morning. The drawback is that once she is in bed I go back to the office (at home). I have supported myself since I was sixteen years old. The road was never easy, but it was my larger-than-life dreams and ambition that kept me alive, kept me in school and at the top of my game. If I can do it anyone can and we should not be demoralized by such double-standards as portrayed in this article. Women have choices and whether we chose to stay at home, to work, or do both… WE CAN. Whoever reads this article, please tell yourself that you can be who you want to be. That your brain is just as capable to achieve as a man’s brain is. Do not be brainwashed, please strong women.

  5. THIS article is 100% correct except that it pertains to all humans—according to their situations–Yes you can be or do anything you want to except that LIFE is TWO-FOLD and something or someone always suffer when you are not mindful of all things—–BALANCE IS the key to HAPPINESS–and that’s all she’s saying—–always remember COMMUNICATION is the best policy for keeping BALANCE in a family –it’s what makes us STRONG—–and keeps us STRONG—(THEIRS A FLIP SIDE TO EVERY COIN)and your life is no different….PEACE!!!!

  6. JwaStar Jossette on

    This article would have been viewed differently if it were never affiliated w/ Women to begin with. There isn't one part in the actual article where they actually mention anything about how it directly effects women or even say anything about a woman or female at all. It moreso speaks on how it would effect anyone in a very general way. This article isn't good. It should've had more depth and changed the title to how ambition can affect any person's life in a negative and positive way. Since the write up is about the negative aspect they should've had examples.

  7. If you are not smart enough to balance career and your personal life, maybe you are not as smart or successful as you think you are. Instead of going on the defense, stop , look and listen and be able to take inventory.And remember that you mate is not your subordinates from work. My wife is an office manager at work, she leaves that stuff at work. I am a supervisor on my job, I leave that stuff at work.

  8. This demographic is quick to pile on anything said about black men, be it true or false, but will squeal like stuck sows whenever anyone says something about their not so flattering behavior, especially when it's true. You are not gods, stop taking credit for the good stuff that others do and start taking responsibility for your mistakes and your life will be so much more enriching.

  9. Notice this article states that the opinions expressed therein are based in research. You must understand that conventional gender roles indeed exist, not just socially defined but also evolutionarily. If we take men's attraction for instance. 9 of 10 times a man will be attracted to youthful beauty and perceptible fertility, not necessarily money. So when a woman spends 20 years climbing to the top financially, she has essentially exchanged her youthful beauty, and potentially her fertility for money. By the time she is in her 40s, successful, and looking for men or perhaps to start a family, you find that these women want a man who is around the same age as they and makes similar or more money than they. What these women fail to realize is that men's attraction never changes. That 40+ yr old man is still attracted to youthful beauty, why then would he settle for an older, financially successful woman when he could have younger, attractive, potentially fertile woman? The longer you women refuse to acknowledge this fact the harder it will be for you to find a man.. This advice is only for your information. whether you choose to adhere to it is up to you.. No one is trying to remove a woman's choice here..

  10. Notice, not a single man has come on here to refute the veracity of this article. You can remain in denial all you want but, that will not change the fact that men are interested in youthful beauty, NOT money. If you ignore fundamental differences between women and men then you will inevitably misunderstand interaction between the two..

  11. sister, you mustn't look at it that way. You just have to decide what is more important to you, a family or financial independence.. It's really as simple as that!

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