When asked about characteristics that people look for in a potential mate, one that comes up often is a good sense of humor. There are different types of humor, however. Some may be very damaging and can ultimately ruin a relationship while there is one kind that can help the relationship grow.
1. Affiliative humor – This is a positive type of humor. It is the best kind to have to help your relationship grow stronger. It is characterized by light jokes and witty banter that help to brighten someone’s day. It never insults another person or makes you laugh at another person. It is a type of humor that lets someone who is down know that everything will be okay and that you can get through anything together.
2. Self-enhancing humor – This is a great type of humor to have for yourself, but not for a significant other. It is positive but always directed at yourself to try and lighten your mood. It helps you to see the funny side of difficult situations. However this can make you come off as arrogant or insensitive to others.
3. Aggressive humor – This is a negative humor that is directed at others. It puts other people down and is often found with bullying. Making jokes at someone else’s expense is a quick way to kill any relationship you may have with that person. You can still tell that the joke is not really a joke at all and the other person will see right through it in an instant.
4. Self-defeating humor – This is negative humor that you direct at yourself. When you make yourself the butt of every joke or try to make fun of yourself constantly your self-esteem drops.
Be careful when you use humor in a relationship and make sure that you are using the right type of humor when trying to be funny. You may end up hurting someone and destroying what you have built.