You’ve heard the story: Guy meets girl and they are hot for each other. They get married and continue to be hot for each and enjoy some sizzling s*x. Then comes a house, cars, stressful bills and jobs and then a baby, or two, or three, or four! Suddenly they are both too tired to “sizzle” every night and settle for luke warm s*x once a week, maybe twice a week.
One day they both look at each other and wonder what happened to all that sizzle and also wonder how they can get it back.
Below, one woman shares her story of how she got her “groove” back:
It’s hard to pinpoint the moment I became a boring lay. Maybe it was the night my husband reached for me and I realized it would be more work to turn him down again than to have s*x.
“Okay,” I said, “but don’t expect me to move.”
I am 49, married nearly 16 years to the guy who once freed me from my blouse during a steamy make-out session in the back of a taxi. What happened since we took that ride? Let’s start with four kids, ages 13, 11, 9, and 6. Throw in a move from New York City to a steadily disintegrating 1870 house in New England, add a growing pile of bills, and give my husband a job that takes him far from home. We were still having s*x once, sometimes twice a week. It just wasn’t very s*xy.
My last 0rgasm was like my last pedicure–I knew I had one at some point, but I couldn’t remember when, and didn’t expect to have another one anytime soon. My husband was eager to fix this, but my head was too crowded with the many other things we needed to fix first: our credit card debt, the black mold growing in the bathroom, my lack of sleep. Then one day it hit me that I was treating my own libid0 as a luxury item I couldn’t afford. Why? Something had to change.
I called my gynecologist, wondering if she would tell me the problem was in my head, or prescribe scented candles and new lingerie. No, she told me about testosterone. Women produce testosterone just like men, she explained–it’s what fuels our libid0, makes us want s*x. But as a woman gets older, her testosterone level drops. By her 40s, she has half the testosterone she did in her 20s. And stress triggers the release of cortisol, a hormone produced by the adrenal glands that drives testosterone even lower. Given my lackluster libid0, age, and general state of aggravation, my doctor thought it safe to assume that my testosterone had plummeted, dragging my libido down with it.
After (testosterone cream)
Over the following weeks, a warm, thrumming sensation began to build, even when I wasn’t fooling around with my husband, or even in the same room with him. Suddenly, I was thinking about s*x, wanting it. I was at the mall one afternoon buying a cake-pop maker when I was flooded with desire. And I hate going to the mall.
To my husband’s delight, his weekly intercourse allowance doubled, then tripled. Once, I even sent him a s*xy text.
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