All couples disagree at some point in the relationship. If you don’t disagree with your partner every now and then, there is something wrong. It is natural. There are rules to fighting to ensure that you don’t end up saying something you don’t mean or causing a lot of unnecessary damage to your relationship.
1. Know when it’s time to leave. If you feel like you are getting too heated, making an exit could be the best thing for you and your partner.
2. Make your exit earlier than you think you will need to. If you feel like you are going to get to that boiling point within a few minutes excuse yourself right then and there so you don’t get anywhere near that point.
3. Change the focus of your energy after you have walked away. This will help to calm you down and help you to refocus on the real issue at hand.
4. Make things calm and try to laugh. Think about yourself sitting on a warm beach or playing with a monkey. Anything that will get you to laugh.
5. Breathe. The deeper you breathe the more relaxed you will become. Focus on only your breathing and nothing else to help soothe your emotions and your racing pulse. This helps you to get a clear head.
6. Don’t be so tense. Let your muscles hang loosely and keep breathing.
7. Smile. Smiling is infectious, just like laughter. It doesn’t matter what you smile about, as long as you smile big and send out some positive energy.
8. Plan on talking about pleasant things before going back to the topic that started the fight in the first place. Test the waters of where you are at in the conversation.
9. Make agreements with things that your partner has said so they will see that you are not disagreeing with everything that they are saying.
10. Talk through the problem calmly. Listen to what your partner has to say without interrupting, and when they are done acknowledge what they have just said. Let them know how you feel about it without bringing them down or without discouraging their feelings about the situation.