Getting a guy to go to couple’s therapy is like getting him to ask for directions when he is lost. Most men don’t like to pour their feelings out to people that they are close with let alone a complete stranger. You may feel that you need to do the therapy though, so how do you get him to agree to it?
The first thing you need to do is have an open and honest discussion with him about it. Don’t try to pull a fast one and make him think you are going somewhere else, don’t push him into it. Tell him why you think it is necessary and ask him how he would feel about it. When he tells you what he thinks make sure that you actively listen to him and do not jump all over him if he is not thrilled with the idea. Invite him to a session where it is just about you and not about him so that he can see what it is like and meet the therapist. This may put him a little more at ease with the whole thing.
If you think that your partner may have some kind of issue such as depression or anxiety and think that he should go see a therapist, bring this up to him, but ease into the conversation. Tell him that you think it may be beneficial for him to have someone to talk to about how he is feeling; someone who won’t judge him or make fun of him for something he may feel insecure about. Don’t push the issue too much, just casually drop hints every now and then and he may come around.
If you are able to get him into a therapy session, remember a few things:
– Stay positive. Give him support and he will give you support in whatever you are dealing with.
– Remember that this is a slow and steady process. You will not see a breakthrough in just one session.
– Do not give him an ultimatum. He may end up thinking that you are going to leave him anyway, so why bother with therapy?
No matter what happens, just make sure he knows that you love him and you are there to support him through whatever you go through.