How to Have Smarter Fights With Your Spouse


By: Isabella Carson

During a relationship you are going to have arguments. That is part of what it means to be married. How you deal with the arguments can tell you a lot about who you are as a person and as a couple. There are smart ways to fight and then there are destructive ways to fight. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that the destructive fights can lead to the downfall of a marriage. There are ways that you can have a smarter fight and save the relationship as well:

1. Remember that your husband is your best friend. Sometimes it can be hard to feel that way, especially when he is the one that you are mad at. There is a bond that married couples have that gives them not only a relationship but a deep friendship as well. When a fight comes around remember that he is the one that you can talk to about anything and everything. Even though you are fighting right now you will make up and get through it just as best friends do when they fight.

2. Keep eye contact with your spouse at all times. This will let them know that you are listening to their concerns. Eye contact will build intimacy even when you are fighting.

3. At the end of the fight, even if you still land on completely opposite sides, you need to feel good about the decisions that were made or the compromises that were proposed. If one person ends up with feelings of resentment after a fight another one is likely to follow. They will feel as though their issues are unresolved.

4. Be prepared for some give and take. One spouse cannot always have it their way. This will also lead to feelings of resentment. The other spouse will feel as though they don’t matter and their feelings are not worthy. Everything is about give and take and there will need to be compromise from both sides.

5. When an argument starts do not immediately go into yelling and screaming matches. Be playful and still have a lighthearted demeanor. The more intense that you are during a fight the worse it will be.


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