How to Spot Domestic Violence Before it Becomes Physical


By: Krystle Crossman

Domestic violence and domestic abuse are scary situations that people find themselves in all too often. There are some warning signs to watch out for that may indicate the violence and physical abuse is on the way.

1. Jealousy – Partner has an irrational fit of jealousy when you are around other people and engaging in conversations. They will accuse you of cheating and then give ultimatums if you don’t stop seeing those people they don’t like.

2. Intensity – Partners that are extremely intense could be heading to violence. They will bombard the other partner with text messages and calls. They will buy lavish gifts when it is far too soon in the relationship. Everything is over the top.

3. Criticism – Verbal abuse is one step closer to violence. They will call you ugly, fat, and criticize everything that you do. They want to tear you down and make you feel like you can never do anything right.

4. Blame – An abusive partner will place the blame on the other party for everything that happens in their lives. If the abusive partner cheats, they place the blame on the other partner.

5. Control – The abused party has a lack of control over anything in their life. The other party controls everything. They control when you go out, what you wear, who you talk to, and check your cell phone and emails to make sure you aren’t doing anything they wouldn’t like.

6. Sabotage – They will try to sabotage your life. They will take your car keys and hide them so that you cannot get to work. They will make you late for classes. They will do whatever they can to ruin your life.

7. Anger – Someone who is about to resort to violent behavior will have intense anger issues. They get mad over small things and let it escalate into a huge disagreement that sometimes ends in a physical battle.

8. Isolation – They will cut you off from everyone and everything that you love in your life.

Knowing these signs and getting help before the physical violence starts is one step to getting out of an abusive relationship. Get help before it is too late.



  1. The key dealing with abusive people is keeping them out of our lives. There are instances when we cannot avoid abusive people because we may work with them or they are part of out family. Abusive people are often duplcitous.They live behind a mask. They present the side that they want you to see. You have to determine what is really going on before you enter into a relationship with these people. There will be hints. He may say that his ex hurt him so he doesn’t trust women. What he is really saying is that he is a suspicious controlling individual. He may say that he is passionate and emotional. He is actually saying that he has a temper and gets angry at times.That anger will eventually be directed at you. He may say that no one understands him and that people have it in for him. What he is saying is that he is strange and paranoid. there may be secrecy. He may cry when he talks about past relationships. He may tell you how much he was hurt. He will never tell you how much he hurt his ex. Those who have it in for him my have seen through all the double talk. Ladies, do a background check.Contact the ex. she may be bitter but sometimes a phone call can give you all of the info that you need.It is too late when you have already gotten wrapped up with an abuser.
    The list of 8 items above describes an abusive relationship. It may not be physical abuse but it is already abusive.Anyone out there who is in an abusive relationship or knows of someone in an abusive relationship should read this book.

    Domestic abuse needs to be stamped out.

  2. Keymola Grant on

    Troubled souls attract troubled souls. Women heed this advice and at the first sign, run for the hills quick, fast and in a hurry. A piece of man is not worth the headache. Learn to love yourself and be comfortable by yourself until you find the right one.

  3. Many children in abusive households go on to become violent abusers themselves. Countless others will simple never learn how to become responsible, loving parents. The cycle of abuse and neglect will send child welfare and self – esteem issues into an entire generation of American Blacks.

    Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often over looked, excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars.

    Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t play fair. Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under their thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, or hurt those around you. Redeem Yourself – Excerpt

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