“I’m Married to a $ex Addict”: How His Addiction Actually Made Their Marriage Stronger

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downloadBy: Krystle Crossman

There are people who really like s*x. Then there are those that are addicted to it. Not addicted in a sense that they just do it a lot and say they are addicted, but addicted in the way that someone would be addicted to a drug or alcohol. If you found out that the person you were starting a relationship with was a s*x addict, would you continue with the relationship or let it end? One woman tells her story of how she ended up marrying a s*x addict and it actually ended up making her marriage a stronger one.

When Anna Davis was just 20 years old she thought that she would never end up married because she was not someone who liked relationships. Then she met the love of her life and they got engaged after just a few weeks. When the couple got married, she was 22 years old and he was 21. She knew about the large p*rn collection that he had, but decided it was just a guy thing and ignored it. She caught him in racy online chats with other women. He said that it wouldn’t happen again and she believed him. Then at a family event she accidentally grabbed his phone and stumbled on texts that proved that he was having an affair with her best friend.

After that incident she learned that he had not only been sleeping with her best friend, but had also been with other men, women, pr0stitutes, and people he had met while traveling around. He entered a 90-day inpatient treatment program and they cut off all communication. She moved across the country. When he got out of rehab they lived together again, but slept in different rooms and didn’t sleep together for over 7 months, and never talked about the situation. He ended up relapsing four times two years later. Every time he lapsed they split up. He entered rehab again. This time Anna went to therapy with him. They both learned that addicts can be rehabilitated, but the behavior of both parties after is what would keep the addict from relapsing, much like any other addiction.

Today they are happy and it has been five years and no relapses. They joke that they are in their second marriage.

Would you be able to go back after something like this or would you run for good?

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10 Comments

  1. Robin Montgomery on

    Great Testimony of Love and Respect for their vows, for better or worse and sought help together, forgiveness displayed in essence this was a great ‘Reality” that Love prevails.

  2. We can clearly see his problem, but when are we going to deal with her problem. What made her risk her health and life to continue being with a man who had this kind of addiction. The truth is her problem is just as major as his. When are we in the black community going to stop romanticizing stupidity? When are we going to stop masking the fear of being alone calling it support and love? How can this women ever truly enjoy a relationship with someone that you will never trust and have to constantly monitor your behavior so that he won’t relapse? Is this what we have been reduced to? Unless this man and women turn to the power of God to heal the deep internal dysfunctions they will forever be in cycle of repeat.

  3. Mario, I agree wholeheartedly. This is a sin problem; a spiritual problem that only Jesus can fix. This is nothing to smile about but something to be quite concerned about.

  4. And, not if, but WHEN he falters, his wife should prepare herself. I pray that AIDS doesn’t come into the equation.

  5. This man’s sex addiction did not make their marriage stronger. It almost broke it. The relationship survived this man’s foolishness but it is not stronger. The title of the article is misleading. A marriage is made stronger by shared joys as well ad adversity. My putting my wife through this kind of drama would not strengthen the relationship, it would create deep wounds. If my wife found out that I was sleeping with everyone who would say yes, the relationship would be broken. Trust is the bedrock of any substantive relationship. What happens when this guy falls off the wagon. How does the wife feel when he says he has to work late. How is his sobriety monitored. The poi.t of this article for me is that those with any addiction should seek help. The truth is that no one can be effective if they spend all of their free time seeking sexual favors. The greater issue is the objectification of women that has happened in our society. Many powerful men have been brought low by perverted appetites. I think that men should strive to live lives characterized by probity because this is only how we rea h our full potential.

  6. This man is full of perverted demonic spirits, he will have to submit himself totally to God for deliverance,his wife need to pray to be delivered from him,the Old and New Testament does not condone adultery,she is putting her life at risk from diseases and one of his lovers could commit a criminal act against her,she must have a low self esteem of herself,he is not the only man on earth, but one of the sick, perverted demon possess ones.

  7. I don’t see a man having sex affairs just because he can. Look at why this action is needed out side of their marriage. The right thing was to do if you going to stay in this type of marriage get some help for that person not by sending him out alone but go with him/her to see if their something is missing as to why this action is happen.

  8. The person exhibiting this type of behavior may make excuses and say it is because he is not getting what he needs at home but the issue lies with the husband and the husband alone. No one can satisfy a pansexual. This man was sleeping with whoever he could get his hands on, men included. He is a tight pair of pants away from a relapse, then what.

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