Is American Parenting Destroying American Marriage?


By: Krystle Crossman

When you have a child they become your whole world. You love them unconditionally above all else. But should you say that you love someone more than your children or that at times you just don’t like them very much (which all parents feel at one point or another) you will have people screaming at you that you are a terrible mother. How dare you put something else before your child right? It has become so hard to be a mother these days as parenting has turned into something like a religion. If you stray from that religion in any way you are condemned by the rest of the congregation. Ayelet Waldman wrote an article in the New York Times back in 2005 where she stated that she loved her husband more than her four children. She received threats of bodily harm and severe backlash from readers. Some even threatened to call Child Protective Services on her.

Waldman stated that her children are secure in knowing that her parents have a loving relationship that they hold above all else. What is so wrong about that? Absolutely nothing. It is different for men and women as well. If a husband tells his wife that he loves his child more than her she may be hurt. If she says that she loves her children more than her husband it is viewed more as a natural instinct. However if a father states that he loves his wife more than his children, many would not bat an eye. There is something about being a mother that apparently automatically makes you a horrible person if you were to say anything bad about your children.

Many couples today focus so much on their children that they lose the focus on their relationship. Homes that are centered around their children more than the relationship could end up distant and lacking in communication. This is one of the biggest reasons that marriages fail in this country. We are so worried about parenting that we forget that there is another person that needs our attention as well. Loving your children and taking care of them is obviously a very high priority in life but a marriage is also a high priority and one that should not be ignored.


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