Is It You? Why Your Man Won’t Share His Feelings With You

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downloadBy: Krystle Crossman

Men have a tendency to hold back their feelings and emotions. Women have no problem doing that. What is it that men are afraid of when it comes to their feelings and expressing them? Studies are showing that the reason men don’t want to let it all out is because of the women in their lives. They feel that they need to be the stronger gender and expressing feelings makes them less of a man. This of course is not true but this is what society teaches men to believe.

There are two different emotions that a man will usually express and those are happiness and anger. Other than that, they don’t often show much. If they are sad they will suck it up and pretend that nothing is wrong. If they are excited for something they try not to appear too excited about it. When women are sad, they cry. When they are excited their voices will raise to a higher pitch and they will smile and appear giddy. Men feel that showing their emotions like this will make them seem less manly and that people will make fun of them for it, so they suppress whatever it is that they may be feeling.

When men do take a chance and actually show a range of emotions it is often times used against them. If they are in a fight with a significant other and begin to cry because they are upset the woman will often pick on him and call him weak. If a man cries at a movie their significant other will often times either make fun of it or tell all of his friends about it. They feel like they cannot trust anyone when they let their emotions out so they keep things bottled up inside.

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11 Comments

  1. This is a good /sad article…

    I have 2 grown son’s that I constantly counsel with concerning communication issues. This article is right on spot. I also have male friends who admit the truth concerning black-men weighing in at zero in the communication dept.
    The issues do stem from lies taught by our society concerning what being a “REAL STRONG MAN” entails, its all based on a lie.
    Men communicate with other men before they will communicate with their women, and they’ll communicate with their mistress or so-called-sidechic before they’ll communicate with their wife or committed partner.
    Its about “TRUST”, men, especially black-men need to know without a shadow of doubt they can trust their women / wives-committed partners with their most personal secrets.
    Black-men have issues committing to 1 on 1 relationships just like they do communicating with women period, especially black-women.

    NO COMMUNICATION = NO TRUST = NO CONNECTION = NO COMMITMENT no matter how you play your cards, its just game / games…

  2. Redbone is right. Too many women view men as simply an ATM machine with legs and a pen!s. When you start showing human emotions to most women, they get confused. Most men wouldn’t dare fall out of that confining role in which we are allowed to operate. Crying at a movie is a definite no no. A man will surely lose all of his cool points with a woman if he pulled something like that. She will automatically begin her exit strategy from you. The quickest way to be labeled soft or a punk by a black woman is to express your feelings or admit you were hurt by something. Women have very binary ideas of what a man is and if you fall out of that box, most women will have a hard time interpreting your actions. In their minds, they are the only ones with room to be emotional. The only acceptable exception is anger. Women would rather deal with an angry man over a sad man. Anger seems more masculine to them. But usually anger comes too late.

    • @Unk

      Thank you so much for your honesty its so on point, I’m constantly working on my sons not to fall into those set-up sink-holes set in place by our white society. When you hold junk in the trunk it turns into combustion waiting to happen.
      Combustion is also bad for your physical health because it breeds anxiety and stress, last but not least bad decision making which turns into disaster.
      My heart goes out to my brothers, its so sad and meaningless because we are all human beings created and designed by God, but at the same time I do understand black-men not relaxing and openning up to black-women. I’m a black-women, black-women need a lot of work, it is what it is, but you still can’t put all black-women in the same basket because yes there are many unstable apples.

      My question is: Why does any man or women go into a relationship where there is absolutely “NO POSITIVE COMMUNICATION” outside of game?
      When you don’t communicate you cover-up, you lie and you hide = false = fake = perpertraitor… why waste the energy and the time?

  3. I read a comment once and never forgot it, “It is for a women to know the heart of her man and to protect it…need I say more?

  4. Women who don’t understand the above statement I just made are the very women who give the rest of us a bad name. We are to be the spiritual covering for our homes, our men our children. Maintain an atmosphere of love, peace, so our family can trust home to be a safe haven for allowing our true thoughts and feelings to be expressed. To many times our children and husbands hear other extended family members repeat things that should have been kept as sacred and personal, versus foolishly shared with others, creating a lack of trust within the family unit between husbands and wives. We must have the wisdom to know what to share and what not to share and when.

  5. andre matthews on

    I believe a man’s feelings vulnerable like a new born baby , you entrust such a small vulnerable being to someone that’s going to take good care of it , not berate it when it cries , will nurture the baby , feed it , be understanding ..no one in their right mind will entrust a baby that is very precious to a person that they sense will harm the baby . Likewise a man will not entrust his vunerabilities to a woman he knows or senses will harm his full range of true feelings and perhaps over time he knows he can’t lay them in her arms for protection.

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