Ladies: Having $ex With Your Man Every Now and Then Is Not Enough

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cynthia and peterBy Eulla Monte

Many women will often talk about how they would never stay if their man cheated on them. While they have the right to make their own decisions about what they will and will not tolerate, in a relationship, there is one thing they may need to consider…is your man satisfied?

Before getting angry and going on angry rants about whether or not a man satisfies his woman or not, how about thinking about the men for a change? If a woman wants and expects her man to be faithful to her, does she not then have to think about his satisfaction? It seems unreasonable to expect a man to be all about his woman and only his woman when his woman is not the least bit interested in his happiness and satisfaction, in the bedroom and beyond.

If you asked a random group of hetero$exual men what would make them happier in their relationship, most of them would say “more $ex!” If you dug deeper, a lot of men would say that they don’t just want more $ex; they want passionate and engaged $ex. Yes, a lot of women work and a lot of women have kids so it can be hard to do more than just go through the motions after a long, hard day, but isn’t your man worth it?

When was the last time you asked your man what his fantasy was? When was the last time you made it all about him in the bedroom? Well, if it has been a while or never, then you may need to re-think your priorities. If you’re in an exclusive relationship with a good man who loves and cherishes you and you are just doing the bare minimum, it’s time to step it up! Try something new or ask him what he wants or desires and then be open to doing what it takes to make your man smile.

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43 Comments

  1. This article struck a cord with me, because my former wife did the same things to me. We had great sex prior to getting married. She was the best girlfriend a man could have, that’s why I proposed to her. Then when we got home from the honeymoon, she acted like I was her employee. As long as I did as I was told, then we would have sex. She had to go!!!!

  2. How difficult is it for a woman to lay there with her legs apart for 20 to 30 minutes three times a week? Believe it or not this is one way that a man thinks he is satisfying some of his partner’s anxieties. However, when a man goes to work and come home this is a very relaxing feeling from his hard work. Giving a man a passionate three hours a week to help him relax from all of the anxieties he has to overcome to care for and provide for his family is very little to pay for a happy home, in my opinion. Not only will this keep him home but it will be a happy home and if the female is not satisfied with his performance tell him what you want and what you like. I can assure you that he will be more than happy to oblige if that makes you happy. This is from a man’s view point.

  3. At the same time – when was the last time he took the time to make her feel special. When was the last time he chose NOT to lay on the couch with the remote in his hand while she shopped for the food, cooked it, served it and did the dishes — then helped the kids with homework? Just Maybe — if he took the time to consider some of her UNFULLFILLED needs — she would do the same.

  4. @dcl are you involved with someone from the 50’s? Most modern day men share if not do more household chores then women. Now dont get me wrong i said “modern day men” men being the keyword the problem most women have is that you’re dealing with lil boys! As a married man that works hard to provide for his family i often find myself feeling like our intimacy is being used as a tool to celebrate a deed or event! Oh its your birthday i’ll give you some, oh you bought me this purse or shoes i’ll give you some. What women need to understand is sex is a direct link to a mans’ soul! There’s nothing i mean nothing more satisfying than making love to someone you truly love! Also sex is a gift GOD gave to humanity to show that expression. We as ppl has placed stipulations on who or what dictates when we should have sex

  5. Lack of enough sex at home is the reason why the ladies of the evening is still in business, Right or wrong, Ladies make your self presentable to your man, A little make up goes a long way.

  6. Thanks for this article. I know you’re right and many women desire to fulfill our husbands desires. Some of us are facing physical changes and are still holding down very demanding jobs. Some of our spouses have lost significant income and we have to help them keep things running. It really does take a toll on the physical body. I used to be able to make love and go to work energized, now it takes a while to bounce back and his motor is still revving. My husband is a MAN — strong and black and virile. Yet, he is understanding and waits until I am able to respond with the kind of passion he needs to fuel him. All I know as someone who’s been married for over 20 years is that men and women have to develop and determine their sexual ebb and flow, song and dance, etc. The bottom line is commitment drives the response to any need. If you are committed to your spouse then you WILL not jeopardize your love relationship no matter how much you get or don’t get. If you are committed to just yourself, then it is a matter of time before you “screw” up anyhow.

  7. dolly partonme on

    What about when we cook and do everything so that he is comfortable and when we crawl our tired a** in the bed they say honey Im tired

  8. I am so tired of that crap about what we have to do to keep our man at home. If you have been with a man for a while you know that a man or woman is faithful because they want to be. You can do it all and he or she will go out because they want something DIFFERENT. No one ever speaks of the sexual dysfunction of many males which speaks to the overuse of Viagra and other drugs that enhance their performance. Stop blaming women for all the sexual issues in a relationship. When you speak to many older women most of them will tell you that their men do not function well anymore.

  9. Yeah and what about a man who wants all control, accuses a woman out from his own imaginations, can’t satisfy in bed in the first damn place and feels when he is in the mood the woman should be there for him after he set up and watched pornos all through the morning? SICK O! YUK total turn off!

  10. Well me i have sex with my man when he wants it when i want it hell just to be doing it we have a great relationship sex is a good thing give too man more sex

  11. The problem goes a bit deeper than some folks want to admit. Some of us are not equally yoked sexually. Some of us women ( and men) go through changes that lessen the desire for sex. So you say what is your point, when those situations curtail the sex life you want, then you call in ROMANCE to spice the pot up. This is for both sides here. I personally do not have a problem with sex 3 or more times a week, however, the sex is so much better when there is romance. Calling, texting, hot love notes explaining what is going to be done..and then follow up with action; will definitely help boost the number of episodes you have and if you are lucky make both partners yearn for the next time to happen sooner than later.

  12. I think both males and females been battling with this I know I have with my wife. She was so active during the courtship but just fell off after marriage. And I know I’m good husband, she hardly ever wants and there no reason to complain other than at times I can slack of on chores a little bit and even then all I need is a remainder. I’m up and about for about 12-13 hours and I still go work out (keep myself looking good) then go help out at home. So really is it too much to ask to intimate more often I think not.

  13. It doesn’t matter how much you give, how long you give it, how faithful you are to your man, how much he claims he loves you or he could really, really love you, etc., that man is still going to cheat on you. I truly believe that men are very weak, and a hard dick has no conscious. He will sleep whenever he can and with whomever he can if the opportunity is there. I know this I have five brothers and three nephews and I hear them talk about themselves and their buddies and it makes me sick. Coming from them and my previous relationships and marriage, you better believe what I am telling you. So never think your man is just all yours, that will never be true. Every woman is sharing her so called man with somebody else weather she realizes it or not. And that does include pastors and any man that calls himself a Christian. They are the worst ones.

  14. There are a lot of single women out there that will do absolutely anything to get a man does not matter if he married or not. Any woman that sleeps with a married man, better believe that he would never leave his wife for her. Men use women as play toys. Men are full of lies and deceit. They will tell you they are not married or they are going to leave their wife for you, don’t believe it. Women better wake up and stop being fools for men. If you want to be a fool then keep on doing what you are doing and when he gets tired of you, which he will, he’ll just move on to the next one. One of my brothers have five girlfriends, the women don’t know they are being played like that. When he comes down with some type of disease, or one of the women catches him and put his light out, it will be just the price he has to pay because some women do not play and do not like to be lied to. It can be a dangerous game. MY so called friend is just a dating partner. We go out, casual sex, he goes home. He’s not married, but we have an understanding. I am no fool for him. Sure he may see other women and I know that. That’s just how it is. I never think there is no one else. That’s bull crap. No woman should think that and if she does, she is a fool.

  15. Oh, I forgot to say any man that says he does not have anybody, don’t believe it. there is no man on this earth that is about anything is not in a situation that they don’t have a woman somewhere. This man either just want to get to know you just enough to get you in bed. Don’t do it. If you care about your body, date a man at least four weeks before you give him anything. That time will tell if he really likes YOU or just wanted you for one thing. If he still sees you for four weeks, you could say he likes you. then if the rumble is not good, then he’s gone. that’s a chance you have to take. But at least you’ve gotten a few dates out of him. He did at least spend some money on you….hopefully.

  16. Wow there a bunch of miserable people in the world. My wife is happy and so am I…..11 yrs going stronger than ever.

    • Ernest Johnson on

      Toot your horn Charles. I personally know many men that have a wife and that is it. However their wives know and believe that and it shows. The way they treat each other and their love methods put the foremention theory out the window.Continue to let your wife know she’s one and only not the one, which insinuate another elsewhere.
      To the men she can and will look up much longer than you look down, Real Talk.

  17. First off this article is correct and after reading people comments it seems people are split. For the women who claimed that all men will cheat and that we are all full of lies and deceit have been clearly scorned. Not all men are like that just like not all women are sluts and witches (with a B in front of it) we live in a world were both men and woman have to work in some situations the woman is the primary bread winner but that article goes both ways. First off if you are in a relationship and you live together you have to not only contributed to your house you have to contribute to your relationship. If you are going to brag about how you do this and this you don’t need to be in a relationship with anyone. If a man cooks, cleans and works and then he looks at you for attention what will be your excuse? The role of a real man is that he takes care of his family and the woman takes care of him she is his support. Most men and women are not taking care of their business and that is why majority leaves. There is no excuse for not trying to pleasure your partner unless you are physically unable to do so. Some people are stupid but it’s the job of both men and women to make sure that they keep their partner satisfied.

  18. Jeana you sound like a bitter stereotype… check the statistics women and men cheat at about the same clip. The old saying like, “the child looks like the mailman… Or looks like the milkman” don’t come because so many women were faithful. The US gov says 1 out of 7 kids are calling the wrong person “Daddy”… is the because women are so freaking faithful? No! Cheating is a human thing that has been past on to just men because people hate to thing of their mama and grandmas and loose women. Infidelity is a human issue.

  19. I just think a loving relationship means both partners are willing to do their best to satisfies the other in sexual ways.I think both owe that to each other if they can and its possible cause some people have health issues. And that sometimes does end sexual relationships from happening. I say this cause I lost two wives to one cancer the other heart disease so I am trying to be understanding to people and there problems.This is one subject that some are scared to talk about.

  20. So what are you gauging in THIS case study??? Lack of homemakers punany making men angry?? Statistics according to sights like this contradict the notion that men want to “come home to sex”…for the very view of multiple children with multiple women! Don’t tell me they all living in the same house! Men will step out any time they want to whether the noni at home is steak or chicken…which both are good depending on how HE feels…so tell HIM to learn how to be pleased with himself and his decisions.

  21. well I think the biggest problem here is us as women using sex to get a man, then changing up when do get him. With this being the selling point in taking that leap. Something I talk alot about in my book “I May Not Know What I’m Talking About But Gonna Say It Anyway” available @ amazon.com and xlibris.com, get you may find it very informative.

  22. Finally!!! Thank you for this article. I printed this off for my wife to read. It is nice to read and article that doesn’t shame us fellas for being selfish because we want sex from our wives or girlfriends. Not just sex, we want passionate sex. Not going through the motion sex but active engaged sex! That is not too much to ask from our wives/girlfriends. Great article.

  23. Let’s be honest here, if a man wants to cheat he will cheat whether you give him sex all the time or hardly at all. In my last relationship with my Ex we had tons of sex, my sex drive was higher than his..and we had a great sex life…but he still cheated. So men, explain that one.

  24. While I understand the article, I have to say that I could flip this around completely. I want *** way more than my man. Why doesn’t he have to satisfy me? Aren’t I worth the effort? I’m just saying that this issue isn’t just gender specific and it shouldn’t be implied that all women are like that.

  25. AMEN this article is so true. If you are with a good man who treats you right, it is also your responsibility to treat him right, in and out of bed. And ladies, if you don’t want to have sex with your man, he WILL get it, without you, maybe not today, or tomorrow, or many months from now, but he will, no matter how good a man he is.

  26. First off, a woman who works long and hard and is over 50 and isnt in the marrage for money and is going through menopause should be given a slight break. Romance her sometimes. Or learn how to excite her so she wont feel like a piece of meat. We should still look forward to sex with our husbands, but he needs to make himself sexy again for us! Stress from all the children and job and menopause (which is some crazy xxxx to be going through)tends to make a waman depressed. We still want sex, just learn how to excite her!

  27. I am a woman who enjoys frequent sexual encounters with my mate.
    6 years married and my husband and I had sex 4 times in the first year 0 in the second year 1 time in year 3 and nothing since. We Tried a sex therapist he so resistant
    Refusing to participate in the assigned activities so we gave up . He gets it up for porn desires Big butt Brazilian flicks. I have been in the room and watched this. Last year without telling me he moved into the spare room closes his door plays x box all night. Ugh. When I mention divorce he objects. I can’t be the only woman in a sexless marriage…what say you?

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