Marriage Expert and “Divorce Buster”: How To Tell Your Spouse The Relationship Is Not Working For You

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Man Consoling GirlfriendBy: Krystle Crossman

Your marriage has finally come down to the last straw. You think that it is over and there is nothing left to salvage at this point. So how do you talk to your spouse about it? Do you just leave one day or do you actually try and talk things out? Here are some tips from Michelle Weiner-Davis – “the Divorce Buster”, that you can use to tell your spouse that you are worried about the marriage.

1. First, change your behavior around. Pretend that your spouse is doing the things that you want them to do and that you feel that they are neglecting. How would your behavior towards them change? Try pretending around your spouse to see how their behavior changes and see if it is something that could help the marriage.

2. If that doesn’t work, try talking to them about it. Ask them for what you want out of the relationship if you feel something is lacking. Don’t demand it because that would put anyone on the defensive. Don’t tell them why you are unhappy, just try and let them know that you would appreciate a little more of whatever it is that you feel is lacking.

3. If you can’t own up to speaking with them about it or are afraid of how they will react face to face, write a letter. You are more likely to be honest if everything is written down as opposed to a face to face.

4. If none of these are working take a step back and focus on yourself instead. Think about you and only you. He will notice that you are becoming distant and wonder what is going on. If he doesn’t notice that you are pulling away, then there is really a big problem.

5. Finally if none of the above tips have worked, seek out a professional that can help. Find a therapist that you are both comfortable with and try to work on your problems with someone who is a third party.

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1 Comment

  1. Therapy is a great suggestion — even if the spouse doesn’t want to go. It can help one decide whether to “go” or “stay.” And a neutral third party can point out things to the person who is in therapy that he or she cannot “see”, because he or she is involved.

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