Men Can Do These Things But Women Are Judged Very Harshly For Them


By: Krystle Crossman

This world is full of s*xism and double standards and they don’t appear to be going away any time soon. What is good for a man is often not good for a woman and they are criticized for doing things that are deemed only for men. Here are some things that woman are chastised for but society doesn’t bother men about:

1. Having a messy house: A reported 87% of women and 81% of men feel anxious about how clean their home is. Yet if a woman’s house is messy, it is deemed gross, but if a man’s home is dirty it is because he is too busy earning money or Is living the “bachelor” lifestyle. Women are becoming the breadwinners of the family more often these days and after work and spending time with the kids there is little room for housework.

2. Being assertive: A woman who is assertive is often called colorful names. A man who is assertive is just being a man. If a woman says what is on her mind too much she is called bossy. If a man does it he is just showing off his leadership skills.

3. No kids: When a man doesn’t have kids and begins to get older no one gives it a second thought. But as a woman gets older and still doesn’t have children she will hear the phrase “your biological clock is ticking” more times than she cares for.

4. S*xual partners: If a man has a lot of s*xual partners he is sometimes called a player but other guys use that almost as a term of respect. If a woman has the same number of partners she is deemed to be promiscuous. This is one of the biggest double standards out there.

5. Being overweight: Women are not allowed to be heavy. Society says that we must look like stick figures in order to be able to feel good about ourselves. For men it doesn’t matter one way or another. A man who is overweight is not as limited to what he can get in life or what he can do as an overweight woman would be.



  1. Why do women aspire to have the “Negative Traits”, that a minority of men have, this speaks to the flawed character of modern women “Heaven Lies at Mothers Feet”. The skyrocketing rate of female crime & violent crime, substance abuse, over eating & fast food addition as created a 1st time ever phenomenon in human evolution a “generation with a shorter life expectancy than their parents” among African-Americans, try to aspire for & admire better human qualities women please

    • It sounds as if you are blaming women for evolving. How about instead of you stating the women are trying to be more like men you change that to more men need to step up in families so that women will no longer have to be the breadwinner, thereby making her have a much more masculine personality. How about that?

      • Please explain to me how a “women” being “Fat, lazy, messy & irresponsible” is “evolving” & not “de-evolving”. This world you talk of were women are the only or primary “income generators”, is one I hear about on the “TV” & from “Politicians” but have never actually seen in my lifetime. I hold everyone accountable for the own individual actions & behavior, who else is responsible for your actions

      • @A.L. Samuel…

        I love your post, right on target. Its so horrible how African american women “are only and always” judged according to their physical make-up, academics and their financial status (FDA Approved) by many black-men… We are never targeted for who we truly are on the inside, whom God created us to be.
        I mix and mingle quite a lot these days, the things I see African american men do, even the ones dressed up in the finest attire who even look like they have some [email protected] sense are nothing any positive strong minded black-women would even want to get involved with. All I do is “set-back / watch & observe… When will they grow-up, stop making excuses, the greatest point which out numbers all the rest “STOP POINTING THE FINGER AT THE BLACK WOMAN”… They hate to hear the truth “Men outside our race do treat and love us better and unconditionally”, everything else just falls into place. True love respect and support always pulls things together for the better of the relationship.

        • What exactly are “Men” judged on “The Content of Our Character”, if not; what we look like, what we wear, how much money we make & what car we drive. If we wear baggy jeans & “Hip Hop attire” were judged a thug by the greater society & scrutinized by the law, if we dress like a square “Black Women” ridicule & ignore us. Like every living creature “females” determine what’s desirable & if “fat, sloppy & commitment phobic” is desirable in the African-American community, guess whose responsible. There is very little absolutely pure or perfect about Black Men or Women, we both have a few that are exceptional & u n-exceptional & a liberal sprinkling of fools

          • @AL Hill II / aka: The son….

            Redbone does not disagree with you at all, so don’t miss understand me or miss-read me like so many people do because their level of wisdom knowledge and understanding has not yet reached my level. I’m not stating by any means that I am better or more enlightened then others, but I am at a place in the spirit most people are not. I speak from experience, and I do challenge people because I’m sick & tired of one-sided BS. Redbone’s eyes are wide-open to many issues with-in our black communities. If someone bites me, I will bite your a$$ back… There’s more to redbone then meets the eye.

            Note: Many African American couples are in committed relationships and marriages that their creator did not choose for them. Many of them are married and have not the slightest idea what marriage really means and what the purpose of marriage and relationship was created for.

            God said “MAN LOVE THE DARKNESS”, God’s words are “LAW” rather we receive it or not…

          • @AL HILL II…

            No man nor woman is up to PAR… For if they were our black communities would not be in destructive mode / MELT-DOWN…

  2. Men will always be able to fall and lay down in the gutter and come back respectable. A woman does the same thing and will have that label for the rest of her life to be criticized by both sexes. These young girls and women don’t believe it until it’s too late. So sad!

  3. I disagree with #2 and #3. Often when black men are too assertive or expressive cops get called. As for #3 I’m single and 40 without kids and I’ve been called everything from a player, to a commitment phobe, to a closet homosexual. None of these are true but my point is that men get unfairly labeled too. The rest of the list is on point.

  4. Great article!!!
    Thanks for telling it like it really is…

    All men should be held to the same standards as women… All my life Redbone has refused to adhere to BS like that, I will never tolerate it in my world, even if it means being single for the rest of my days… “I CAN LIVE WITH IT / I PAID THE COST TO BE THIS BOSS” why should I settle for any ole (THANG) less then who I have “STRUGGLED TO BECOME”…

    What would any good strong positive struggling hard working black-women want with a lazy donkey / mule black-man who is less then she is, and visa versa, and some folks get a [email protected] crook-in-the-neck when many black-women truly (desire and aspire) to be “SINGLE-FREE-&-LOVING-IT” because we refuse to adhere to all the drama written in the above article.

    Ms Carol its also a mentality too, in my opinion he’s not considered a real man. Our creator set forth Laws & Rules for Adam too, everyone must abide. *CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS… that Law was not just written for the EVE’s of this world and should not be taken out of context to fit anybody’s selfish agendas… Redbone

  5. And the point of this observance? ……

    What woman wants to keep a messy house, be overweight, agressively pursue a men and have a stable of them….what woman wantswants that life?…..shrugs….

    …as far as children are concerned i think child birth is beautiful, but in todays society it has a lotpretty of determining factors.

    #1 being….You cant just have s child with anybody!

  6. @Redbone

    Some woman can’t stand a man who they can’t control with their sex and mind games. And last, I personally think all men should have a DNA test on any baby that a woman claims is his.

    With most of the serial killers in this country being non-black, I wonder why white women don’t look at all white men as potential serial killers??

    • @Maliki…

      You also have good points my brother, Redbone don’t live in a box, I raised 2 black male child’s & 2 daughters and I have 3 brothers whom all I support 100% as long as their in right standing
      Im 54 yrs young… I grew up watching black-men from the pulpit to the pews and straight to the streets beat the living shyt out of good black women… it never stopped the laws just changed and more things are being exposed and expelled… I worked with a sister who broke up with a brother who came back to her home knocked on her door, she answered the door and that fool blew her face off with a gun in front of her child. If he left her she would still be alive today

    • A friend of mines daughter was kidnapped by her boyfriend doused with gasoline and set her on fire because she left him. A preacher killed a young black woman cause he wanted her fiance for himself, its endless…

    • @Maliki….

      That’s why I love these blog forums… you can always say your piece rather people reply or not, they are listening and they do get touched.
      Controlling somebody”s life man or woman is an “UGLY” factor no matter how you look at it. It’s called negative CO-DEPENDENT BEHAVIOR… I didn’t control my X… I allowed him to be the man in spite of… he fkd it up / not me… if Redbone have to rule then she don’t need the position, but Redbone ain’t stupid either…

    • @Maliki whoever you are…

      Let me take this whole subject and all other subjects concerning black on black relationships of every kind and of every situation that is negative to a whole other level most of us can’t even comprehend because most of us are just not there yet:

      *When a person / man or woman / have a “REAL” relationship with their creator they never get caught up into unstable relationships and all the negative situations that come along with them, unless it is (God engineered) for a purpose and season. My gifts won’t even allow me to get caught up into negative relationship BS because I have spiritual “EYES” and the gift of discernment to see and sense BS coming towards me miles away. I have choices like anybody else, the difference is my eyes are “WIDE OPEN”…. Now I’m finished…

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