By: Krystle Crossman
Generally when couples get divorced they move into different homes and go their separate ways. If they have children they will split custody or one parent will have full custody. There is a new trend starting however that some feel is a smart move and others feel that it is irresponsible. After the divorce the couples will have one home where the child stays at all times. They will have a separate apartment or house that one parent will stay in while the other parent stays in the steady home with the child. After a few days the parent in the steady home will move to the second home and the other parent will come and stay with the child. There are several variations on this initiative has been dubbed “birdnesting”.
Gwenyth Paltrow and her ex-husband Chris Martin are divorced but Paltrow spends nights crashing at the house where the children are so that they don’t have to be uprooted and moved around between houses. Other couples will have one parent that couch surfs with friends and families for a while until the child has a chance to get used to the divorce. The main reason that parents are trying this new is to try and acclimate their child to the idea that both parents won’t always be around at the same time. They also do it so that the child does not have to be moved around every few days from one house to another. Some couples only do this until the child is used to the idea, others do this permanently.
While there are some ex-couples who love this idea and find it easier on the child there are others who think it is a horrible idea. If you are rotating between two houses or a house and a hotel every few days it can take a toll on you. Living out of a suitcase a few days per week, uprooting yourself, and not having a stable place to be can make things worse for some people. The parents end up suffering while trying to shield their child from the painful reality of divorce. It can end up being worse depending on the couple as birdnesting can cause even more fighting than there was in the first place. It can also stop the parties from being able to move on with their lives. How do you date someone new when you have to move every few days?