Whether marriage is a limitation or a positive consideration for women is certainly a provocative question, I know; one which some women may ask themselves on their journey to becoming successful.
I was watching Oprah’s interview on her OWN channel and she explained why she chose not to have children. In summary, she says that her work is her baby. Now let me put this conversation into context. I am a 34 year old married woman living in a third world country (second world technically) , South Africa; a country that some may consider to be one of the more progressive countries on the African continent. My friends are career driven and also have families. Being in our 30s, we are arguably at our most productive in the work space and making career in-roads; owning successful businesses. The world is our oyster! Or is it?
The conversations we have now revolve around balancing our home lives and work. We spend a lot of time on the road, participating in global business. Opportunities beckon all over the world, however, many times we are stuck between realizing our full potential through chasing our dreams and maintaining healthy marriages.
An American gentleman said to me that he didn’t understand the issue. He said, in the USA, couples simply look at who is bringing in the most money and that is who calls the shots. I found that to be a limiting approach because it considers the needs of one and not both of the people in the relationship. If I am constantly having to follow my spouse, then how do I fulfill my own ambitions?
In our communities, many of us don’t have older women to advise us because most of our mothers’ generation may have been employed but they certainly did not run or lead companies so they generally can’t relate. Our husbands are not too sure how to communicate or live in harmony with these powerful ever achieving women. Our churches preach all forms of submission to our husbands, which can be difficult to comprehend. How do we not die inside whilst submitting?
All ye of Solomon’s wisdom, help!
What Do you think-Is marriage a limitation or a positive consideration for career women?
Ngoza Phiri-Mazarura is a wife, mother and businesswoman who loves initiating meaningful and thought-provoking dialogue with her writing.