Nia Long: 30 Year Old Women Panic About Not Having Husbands and Children


downloadBy: Krystle Crossman

As women grow older it seems that there is more and more pressure on them to settle down and have children. Our so-called “biological clocks” are ticking and if we don’t hurry up and have a family, even if we aren’t ready, we may never get the chance.

Many older celebrities such as Halle Berry have shown us that this is not the case at all. She had a baby recently at the age of 47 and both mom and baby were perfectly healthy. Now 43 year old actress Nia Long is speaking out about these pressures to settle down and why she is not going to give in to it.

Long had an interview with Rolling Out where she spoke of how women really need to get it out of their heads that if a family doesn’t happen for them by a certain age it will never happen. She says that so many women today are ambitious and career-driven and it is taking them longer to finally settling down, but there is nothing wrong with that. Longs says that if it is meant to happen for you, it will happen. She asks if you would want to rush into a relationship and family with someone that you were not sure is right for you and then have to start all over again years later when that relationship ends?

Long also tells women that they need to have open hearts and open minds when it comes to looking for love. The person that you should be with may not always fit your “perfect mate” mold but they could be the best thing for you. You may not find love where you expect to find it either. One day it could just sneak up on you. According to Long, women need to relax, stay calm, and realize that there is no deadline for anything. If you want it to happen, it will but you cannot be stressed about it.



  1. Nia is contradicting herself. Married or not, she HAS birthed 2 children and is a Mom. Women who’ve never had children have nothing in common with Nia.

    • There’s no contradiction at all. A lot of women do panic around the time they hit 30 if they have not yet started a family. Nia is a perfect example of why there’s no need to PANIC. She had her first child at 30 and her second at 41. If not her to speak to the wonders of motherhood past the points when people think you should birth children, who should speak to it then? Certainly not someone who had their children by 30.

  2. Why are black women so religious but seem perfectly fine with having sex and children out of wedlock? Maybe that is the reason why black men prefer not to marry because marriage does not constitute a need or any added benefits anymore. If you can have as much sex and kids and girlfriends you want without any recourse than why get married. Why buy the cow when you can have more milk for free with no headache? We cannot pick and choose what rules we want to follow from the bible. We cannot reap 2-3 children out of wedlock but ask God to send you a husband. You didn’t need his help creating the children. In addition if you reap the children than you might have to sow never being married because of it. Just keep it 100%

    • Mr Right thank you for noticing the big pink elephant in the room. The black community has a 72% out of wedlock birthrate, the highest of all races/ethnic groups in the country. Nothing remotely “cute” or “admirable” about this, in fact it reeks of selfishness AND the BLACK WOMAN’S discounting the importance of a husband and father in the room, wearing the crown, running shit, handling his business, etc. And yes I noticed the hypocrisy regarding GOD and Black women. The same black women who talk Godspeak are the same black women who have no problem breaking God’s laws. Last time I checked, fornication was a sin. Screwing a married man (which many do, with no shame in their game) is a sin. F*ck and S*ck off a dude on a Saturday night, and shout and call on “da lawd” on a Sunday morning. Be a sheitty mother six days a week, and pretend to be a great mother on Sunday. Throw shade at every woman with a good husband six days a week, and pray to “da lawd” to send her a good man. Even WORSE, talk nonsense about “I don’t NEED NO MAN, ‘CAUSE I’M MARRIED TO JESUS/DA LAWD”. And Nia can have a dayum seat, she is NO ROLE MODEL for young black women. I’m 25 and I don’t see her as anything more as a trifling baby mama who didn’t have the good sense to secure a husband and instead pushed out two babies from two different men. If I don’t marry, I won’t be having any babies, I’m not that dayum selfish to subject my child to the label of bastard or illegitimate. But black women will run in here and tell me that “only God can judge”. Bullshit. PEOPLE can and DO judge. That is how humans discern what is right and what is wrong, by looking at a situation, analyzing and assessing that situation, and making a sound choice. Should I not look at an old azzz woman who had two babies out of wedlock and not judge? Should we not judge any negative situation? Please. Again, thanks for pointing out the obvious, much appreciated.

      • Young lady I just got to tell u , yours parents have raised u up very well!!! I enjoyed reading your comment about Nia Long having 2 children out of WEDLOCK! You broke it down to where anybody can understand it! You crossed your T and doted your I . I am 45 years old and u think just like I did when I was your age ! No Children until I’m MARRIED! If its in God plan he will make it happen! Believe me smile. I got married at 32 almost 33 and had our little girl at age 34, so young keep that SMART way of thinking ,it will take u a long ways! I wish a lot of other young ladies thought like u smile ! God Bless u

      • Devon, you are on the money and much of what I wanted to say. Also, black women stop selling yourselfs and posting nude pics on line. That is certainly not the way to get a man. I am sixty, and speak to many young black college men (thatz my job)and many are concerned about what you guys are doing on-line. Many young men want salient black women, but so many of you are doing unholy things with so many men. Men are noticing and questioning the quality of what maybe available as a good woman.

    • Something else, brothas who got it going on, great job, education, class & style ain’t checking for baby mamas for wives. They want AND HAVE A RIGHT to meet and marry single black women with no children, and create their OWN families and legacies, and they aren’t obligated to pick up the slack for trifling babie daddies and baby mamas. And no sista worth her salt is checking for a dude with a bunch of out of wedlock babies, either.

    • What you’re talking about has nothing to do with the subject of this article. Once again I am amazed that adults lack basic comprehension skills.

  3. This is true. My sister-in-law freaked out two years ago about how she’s working too hard, not married and wants to have children. We had to talk to her long and hard about not rushing anything and everything will fall into place at the perfect time for her.

  4. Oh Devon, is it always the woman’s fault if she has 2 or 3 children out of wedlock? Double standards rule, huh? At the end of the day, u r saying: Men with kids will ultimately select a wife-mate WithOut kids to marry? Women, beware. U will be left holding the bag if and when u CHOOSE childbirth without wearing a wedding band on your hand! If he doesn’t marry you before the babies come, he won’t marry u AFTER they come!

  5. Obviously, the baby daddy is buy sexual, and not ready to commit! Nia is really backwards, popping out babies just cause, is sad! At 43 I’m hoping she gets it together! This is just tragic, and her kids are watching too!

  6. Fiscally Aware on

    Although I feel that her credibility is limited on the topic of finding Mr Right. I do agree that black women should broaden their scope when looking for a potential mate. Let’s face it ladies, if all of us woke up one morning and decided that we were going to marry a black man, they’d be over 2 million of us left without a mate to choose. While I thank G-d that there were always eligible black men in my life, I do know that there are many professional women still waiting for their match. This will be my second chance at marriage and while I feel blessed now that I didn’t have any children with my first husband, I am really looking forward to maybe having a family with this husband. I will not rush into children , nor will I be pressured. I am still in my 30’s…I have some time to build and strengthen a bond with this man first. G-d willing. 🙂

  7. I’m trying to figure out how everytime a African American speak about something it turns into a racial controversy???She says nothing about African Americans ONLY she spoke in women generally…hell Halle not African American she mixed..White folk do the same. Idc who percentage you eople use. We are all human..

    • Fiscally Aware on

      Ok Ashley, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume that your not African American. This fact alone will make it difficult for you to understand the plight of the African American in this country. Particularly if your not actively involved in race relations. We don’t expect you to understand because your world is not like ours. Now because African Americans make up a small percent of the population, the statistics are staggering when it comes the unmarried and single parent households. The black family has been totally dismantled and this society is not conducive to healthy family life. That’s why many African Americans are going to have to take a hard look at their actions. How can you say you love The Lord and in church every Sunday if you drink, fornicate, and talk bad about others on a constant basis. Now, back to you. Whether you agree with it or not, we can’t escape racial inequality in this country because the institution of racism is to strong. What we can do is try to understand it and teach our children so that when they are one day pulled over by the police that they don’t become victims by the very law enforcers that are there to protect us. There are far too many Caucasians who witness racism and do nothing about it, if you sit by and allow it to happen and then do nothing about it then you are now apart of the problem as well. Your homework, if your heart is truly open to trying to understand, is to watch the experiment that this wonderful woman by the name of Jane Elliot and it’s called “The blue eye brown eye experiment.” Now you have to be ready to really seek truth to understand this. If your heart is not open, then this will only further confuse you because of hate and ignorance in your own heart that your not ready to confront. Jane Elliot is an expert in this field and had been conducting this study for over 4 decades so understand that it is a honest movement towards trying to get others to understand the complexities of race relations in this country.

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