Last night, the Grammy’s were on and I have to admit, I did not watch and I’m not sorry I missed them but I digress… I am however noticing a very strong reaction to Beyonce’s performance, which she did with her rapper husband, Jay-Z. The couple performed the song “drunk in love” and some people feel that it was “too much” and even bordering on “soft p*rn”.
I was curious enough about the performance to find a video of it and watch it. Here’s what I said about it on a Facebook post:
I didn’t watch the Grammy’s last night but I did see a video clip of Beyoncé and J-Z’s performance together. Apparently there is an uproar because it was not “family friendly”.
I actually liked it and I maintain that parents are the ones responsible for what they expose their children to. A woman dancing and flirting with her husband on stage does not offend me, especially if they are both professional performers and they kept it classy.
I also read a post at iDatedaily.com which asked, “What Does Jay-Z’s Acceptance of Beyoncé’s $exualized Image Say About Their Marriage ?” My comment on the post was:
Great post from Maria Weezy Lloyd‘s site. I think I’ve said it often enough, I’m just not a Bey fan, but I am actually starting to like her more and more as I listen to her interviews.
People like to compartmentalize people (especially women) and Bey isn’t letting herself be compartmentalized. Yes, she is sensual; that is part of who she is and she is not letting anyone shame her into denying that part of herself.
I think if you don’t like it, don’t watch and and don’t buy her records and don’t go to her concerts!
In December of 2011 I competed at the Mrs. World 2012 pageant and then I also competed at the Mrs Earth 2013 pageant in August of 2012. Around the time that I was at the first pageant and also after the pageant, I heard some rumblings about family members who questioned how a wife and a mother of two could “parade her half naked body” on an international stage. These comments were directed at the swimsuit portion of the competition.
I never answered any of those rumblings because they were not said to me directly but I did feel that the people who were saying them needed to “get a life!”. I bring it up to make the point that it is common for people to feel that what a woman does is “offensive” if she steps out of their comfort zone.
The key point though is that we should not live our lives according to other people’s comfort zones; we should live them according to our own. Leading up to my first pageant as a married woman, I felt anxious, excited and at times, terrified. What was important to me though, was to get in the best shape that I could and walk on that stage with a message that says that you can have a couple of babies and re-claim your body and your health and fitness. My other message was that you have to do the things that scare you so that you can continue to grow and challenge yourself. The pageant was also a huge platform that I could use to shed light on issues that I am passionate about and that I believe need a lot of exposure and dialogue.
I stepped out of my comfort zone, I challenged myself and my inbox was full for months after that with messages from women who were both inspired and motivated by my courage and my message.
To me Beyonce is inspiring because she models her message. Yes, she is a mother and a wife, but she is also a performer and a vibrant, sensual woman who has an amazing business sense and is by far the most successful woman in her field. I don’t know how good of a mother or a wife she is, but I’m willing to bet she’s great in both those roles and she does not have to deny the sensual and passionate part of herself to be able to excel in her roles as a mother and a wife. In fact, I believe that the more balanced a woman’s life is, the more joyful and fulfilled she is…and the more fulfilled and joyful she is, the better she can be as a wife and a mother.
So, to answer the question; Am I disgusted by Beyonce’s Grammy night performance? The answer is no, actually I am inspired by it.
Nomalanga helps Black women thrive in their lives and careers. She is a Social Commentator, an Editor at Your Black World , a former College Professor and Mrs Botswana. Visit Nomalanga’s Facebook page or Follow her on Twitter