Nomalanga: Monique’s 80 Pound Weight-loss Is a Betrayal Of Overweight Black Women


monique-before-afterBy Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses

This past week, a lot of images of comedienne and actress Monique  have been floating around. In the image, the one time author proudly displays a much slimmer figure, over 80 pounds lighter than she used to be.

While I really commend Monique for losing weight and doing it through hard work, as opposed to some procedure, I can’t help wondering why she expects us to ignore the fact that she used to encourage obesity.

In 2o04 Monique wrote a book called “Skinny Women Are Evil: Notes of a Big Girl in a Small-Minded World” In the book, the comedienne says:

“It is NO secret that I am a BIG girl.

Always have been, always will be.

The only way I’ll ever wear a size 6, or even a 16, is if you add them together. That’s right: I wear a size 22. And I’m proud, because I wear it well.

HeII, even Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder can see that!”

Now, here we are in 2013: Monique is over 80 pounds lighter and what she says she wants is to show women that they don’t have to take pills or undergo invasive surgeries to lose weight. Monique encourages women to lose weight the good old fashioned way; eating healthier and exercising.

The issue that I have with Monique’s message , even though I agree with it, is that it contradicts her old message. Her old message encouraged women to embrace being overweight, obese and even corpulent. Again, I agree with the message that women should love themselves, but I also think we should love ourselves enough to take care of our bodies and our health and well-being.

I’m not saying that Monique doesn’t have the right to change her mind, if she so chooses. What I am saying is that Monique needs to acknowledge that her old message was destructive, instead of trying to pretend that the women she told that being obese was “beautiful” are fools and did not realize that she jumped ship.

Nomalanga helps Black women thrive in their lives and careers. She is a Social Commentator, an Editor at Your Black World , Assistant Professor of Professional Studies and the reigning Mrs Botswana. Visit Nomalanga’s Facebook page or Follow her on Twitter 



  1. I think you wasted space with this article. Yes she lost weight, by eating healthy and exercising you yourself says you agree with this…so what the h*ll are you talking about? Find something else to do with your time, surely there are more important things you can find to right about. SMH

  2. We should love ourselves in what ever body shape we are in. I think that Monique was very helpful to big beautiful women. Your comment that we should love ourselves enough to take care of our bodies and not be obese is true but not very compassionate to obese women. It's not Monique who is being un-sportive of women it you who appears to be judgmental. You must have always been in shape or genetically thin, not to know that most over weight woman loves herself and desires to find their healthy selves.

  3. She could have said that being obese was beautiful because she was upset and it was a cry for help. She probrably never imagined she could lose the weight and now that she did it shes encouraging other woman to believe in themselves as well.

  4. Kimberly Fox on

    Not ai fan of this article either. While she might have been comfortable when bigger, maybe she started looking at the health risks associated with obesity and decided to make a change. Whether she want back to the people she might have conveyed "it's okay to be big" or not, they are adults and I'm sure there is someone in their lives (probably doctors) who have told them otherwise.

  5. No pleasing some people eh? So Monique got smart and decided to save herself from diabetes and all the other ills that plague overweight women of colour who lack the discipline to stop eating the fatty junk. In one breath you agree with her but then you are still mad because her outlook differs from that some years ago…Stop eating the junk and you may look as fabulous as Monique does now…

  6. RayVon Porter on

    To the dummy, yeah you've earned it on this piece of garbage, who wrote this…. You wrote this on HEALTHY BLACK WOMEN, Healthy Mind, Body and Soul…. duh the woman lost the weight for health & personal reasons. IT'S HER LIFE. She doesn't have to recant anything from the past because it's in the PAST. People move forward and change as God would want us to.

  7. Renee' Styles on

    This article is a contradiction in itself. First, she never "encouraged obesity", she encouraged self esteem. Did you read past the cover of the book or did you just want to find fault in her decision to be healthy? The book isn't even about being fat or skinny, but about accepting that you may not be what society say you should be, however loving who you are. Period

  8. Teresia Holman on

    I am proud of her.Writing this article just proves that people dont expect you to change for better. I have never read her book but I hsve heard her speak on the subject before and I dont think that she was saying that its good to be obese she was just saying be proud of who you are regardless of your size. Society and the media would have us to believe that you are ugly if you are over weight.. Monique just let big women know that they are beautiful too. Yeah skinny women can be evil because of the abuse they bring twards big girls. Now if you feel ligi afool because Monique told that you are beautiful as a big gurl and now you dont cause she jumped ship then you have very low self esteem and she never helped you from the begining. She changed to live longer, that doesnt mean that she dont think that big women are beautiful. Its up to you to believe that you are. Being mad is stupid!!!! Go Monique!!!!!!!

    • Oh Really??? on

      Teresia: I agree with you 100%. I think the writer of this article is just out to get responses. Monique was beautiful then; and she is beautiful now. I have always respected the fact that Monique LOVED herself, no matter her size. That is something I believe ALL women should do. She made the CHOICE to lose this weight.
      Who are we to judge anything that she does for herself? I don’t believe she was sending destructive messages to women. She was just stating that all skinny “beyotches” are evil! LOL It think she is funny, talented and quite beautiful, no matter what size she was. Maybe she did it for “herself”, not for anyone else. Which is something we ALL should do. JUST LOVE OURSELVES. What a moron writer.

    • commonsense9 on

      I understand exactly where the writer is coming from. Monique threw all overweight women under the bus.
      She sat on her tv show, and drank a milkshake and encouraged other women to do likewise. She wrote a book calling skinny women evil. Now ya’ll are praising her for loosing weight. I betcha ya’ll thought “Precious” was an inspiring movie too. She’s a hypocrite.

    • commonsense9 on

      I understand exactly where the writer is coming from. Monique threw all overweight women under the bus.
      She sat on her tv show, and drank a milkshake and encouraged other women to do likewise. She wrote a book calling skinny women evil. Now ya’ll are praising her for loosing weight. I betcha ya’ll thought “Precious” was an inspiring movie too. She’s a hypocrite.

  9. Renard Stith on

    I like thefact thatshe is getting healthyit makes you feel good inside and out . your right this was a waste of time

  10. Andreas L Mackey on

    Wow you are wrong Monique embraced her being thick phat over war Etc. It was building self esteem for those like her. I like thik women but healthy. She took it to the next level losing it the right way.No lipo or surgery. Most obese or over wght people want to lose some wght. You haters she help women cope with it. Build self estem.

  11. Nicole Sweetness Davis on

    This piece is a joke! Can a person's mind not mature? This is what happens when a person matures!

  12. I commend Monique for the weight loss. This article was not necessary. Monique always promoted and encouraged self-esteem and self love. She just was overweight at the time. I am sure she is the same person we all know and love just in a different and slimmer frame. Good job Monique .

  13. Live in the now. Eye understand what you are saying… bur the book was talking about big girls loving themselves for who they are. There are too many stories of woman/girl gonnah anorexia. Hollywood is full of self hating people. Her message has never changed regarding self love… only difference, is that Monique is saying "hit that treadmill " and do it all natural. Wasn't she told by her doctor that she needed to lose weight for health or death… just curious. Don't knock another person for a story, or anger alone. There are other battles out there… they just found the body of a young college grad… murdered by her boyfriend. There are children being murdered on our streets on a daily basis… w.

  14. Joyce M. Allen on

    Sometimes “perception” can be a challenging obstacle to endure! The authors perception of what Monique said years ago is built on that moment in her life, encouraging others and building there self esteem. The author is forgetting about the “facts” of the matter. In my opinion, I think Monique should be very proud of herself and keep up the good job!

  15. a betrayal or just thinking of her long term health? we should NEVER be so stagnant that we don't allow each other and ourselves TO CHANGE OUR FORMER opinions when we find new knowledge or understanding…
    why should Monique or anyone be trapped inside of a past statement for the remainder of their life?

  16. Monique’s weight loss isn’t a betrayal. When you hear her interview, she states: “I didn’t think I was overweight until my husband told me. I actually believed all the things I was saying.” When she started losing weight, I was thinking: “Hummm, someone has stepped into the light:. Though happy for her, I was sorta irritated because for so long she preached the gospel of “SKINNY B’s are EVIL” and pushed this message that it’s okay to be morbidly obese as long as you’re okay with it.

    To me that was preaching the wrong message. Yes, it’s great to love yourself, but there’s no self-love in putting your health last just to say you’re “large and beautiful.” Having diabetes is not funny…dying of preventable diseases isn’t cute…

    I’m glad she changed that message, but also question her…”Why did it take your husband to tell you, you were morbidly obese for you to believe the truth about yourself?”

    Point: Don’t listen to celebrities…they bob and weave just like the rest of us. Trust God and rely on your own common sense. I’m happy for Monique and enjoyed her interview.

    • Oh Really??? on

      Shani: I do NOT believe that was the message she was sending to overweight women. That was her “hook” for her book and her stand up. Come on. Have you ever seen her live? She just wants women to be proud of “WHO” they are; not what they look like.
      But, I do agree with you when she stated “her husband told her she was overweight”. He married her when she was big. Unless she got bigger and it was beginning to take a toll on her health, that’s a different issue all together. But, to say she sent the wrong message about skinny women. I never took that seriously. That was her “hook”.
      Suffice it to say, that if your are a size 14, girls who are a siz 6 will tell you that you are too big. ACCORDING TO WHO? Obesity is an issue with a lot of people on this planet. I’m a size 12. I used to be a size 5. I don’t want to be a size 5 again. That was fine when i was in my teens; but I LOVE my womanly curves. And I walk/exercise daily. It’s in the eye of the beholder. When you have difficulty breathing while walking.. that’s a health issue. If you have curves… then, that’s a HATER issue.

  17. So what if she lost the weight, that's good for her. I'm proud of her, makes me believe I can do it too. That's what is wrong with this society, always worrying or finding fault with what the next person is doing instead of minding your own damn business. You
    go Monique. Don't let negative comments ruined your success.

  18. Jazmah Akindela on

    Monique has decided that she wants to live. You are allowed to change your mind. Now those women will have to decide whether to continue to follow an entertainment personality in making life decisions or think for themselves!

  19. JoanneGodsgraciousgift Cole Hughes on

    Proud of her! She worked hard and its about keeping healthy its hard being fat and out of breath! Big ups

  20. Doletta McDonald on

    Monique's message was always to love yourself regardless of where you are and what you look like in life. As a big girl, I have never received the message that I shouldn't lose weight. I always heard the message to love myself and embrace who I am and not let others opinions make me feel" less than". She continues to inspire me with the joy that she carries through every stage of her life. That's what being beautiful is really all about. Do the damn thing Mo!

  21. Itsonly Eye on

    You sound like a true HATER. How can you say she betrayed anyone simply because she slimmed down and made some HEALTHY changes in her life. Yeah she promoted it because that's what she was and was proud of who she was and she wanted other big girls to be proud of who they were. Times have changed and she has slimmed down and now you say she has betrayed other big women???? YOU SOUND LIKE A HATING RIDICULOUS IDIOT….

  22. People are so predictable. I was waiting for this. She used to encourage obesity until she was affected and realized that being obese is not good for her, so now she is doing what is good for her and informing people of why she made choice.

    It’s only when you get into a situation that you realize that maybe somethings have not been right for you.

    So stop trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. She has the right to make changes to her life and body that are good for her irregardless of how she acted in the past. You need to start living in the now.

    Just because she has slimmed down, doesn’t mean that she now thinks obese women are ugly.

  23. Verdette Kirkland Bagley on

    Tamara I was trying to figure out how to reply to this article then I read your comment. Thank you for verbalizing what I was thinking. According to the statistics 61% of African American women are obese. If you want to talk about some talk about that and how we as a community can decrease those numbers. Waste of space smh

  24. when you learn better you do better.yes monique get that fat off of you girl.hey big girls back it up aint nothing cute about fat.dont be foolish.first time in my life iam putting on weight and i hate this shit,

  25. Traci Berry on

    Ok, I see you want Monique to make amends. For having pride in her obese size and not liking skinny chicks. And now she jumped ship and got smaller. (Btw I think Monique's book title about skinny chicks is sarcasm and I'm sur she love eryone.)

  26. Moyo Mitchell on

    "I’m not saying that Monique doesn’t have the right to change her mind, if she so chooses. What I am saying is that Monique needs to acknowledge that her old message was destructive…"

  27. Moyo Mitchell on

    Where do I even start? How about the fact that you're commenting on an article that you've stated is wasted space…what does that make your comment then?

  28. Moyo Mitchell on

    You all seem to be missing the most important part of what was said in the article.

    "I’m not saying that Monique doesn't have the right to change her mind, if she so chooses. What I am saying is that Monique needs to acknowledge that her old message was destructive…"

  29. Iris Elston on

    crazy how the website is called "healthyblackwoman" and you're mad at her for changing her lifestyle. and you "help back women thrive"? yeah okay…

  30. what in the world of all things sane and rational are you talking about… “betrayal”??? Seriously – months ago you castigated a young woman for having the audacity to be chosen homecoming queen… because she was overweight (and she was sending the wrong message or some such nonsense – not to mention all the projection of your own experiences and thoughts on weight). Now all of a sudden, another woman loses weight and she’s betraying overweight black women?

    were it not so bizarre I’d find your inconsistencies humorous…

  31. My guess is Monique got some sobering news from her Doctor about some serious medical problems on her plate if she did not change her ways. Just a guess.

  32. I think her she used her being overweight as part of her act because at that point she was not ready to lose the weight herself. Being very overweight is NOT attractive (Doesn't matter how cute your face is. Sorry!) and is certainly not healthy! Good for her for making a choice to be healthier.

  33. When she was a big girl she accepted who she was at the time, but thru educating herself she discovered that a healthier life is the best life , you go girl know it would be a good thing to write another book telling your fans your success story!

  34. Well me being a plus size woman and always have been take no offense to what she said previously and what she is doing now. Her first point was to encourage women to love themselves despite their sizes. Being overweight DOES NOT MEAN UNHEALTHY…I don't care what anyone says….I am a nurse and I wear a size 26 and I am 36y/o. No high blood pressure or any heart condition; my lipid panel stays in check. No diabetes, no achy muscles or joints. I do my routine health check ups and eat healthy (for the most part) I am currently on the journey of loosing weight. Not to be skinny but just to get back down to an 18 for shopping purposes (those sizes are always available). Plus to establish regular excerise into my life. I don't think Monique was be hypocritical; I think she was being role model. Too often we turn to quick fixes and have to deal with consequences we didn't bargain for. Monique is right on time if you ask me….and besides she is still a plus size girl…..just on the smaller end.

  35. I'm sorry but big doesn't equal unhealthy….just like skinny doesn't represent healthy…..yes it is a risk factor to many diseases… but every person who smokes doesn't get lung cancer….I have been plus size my entire life….currently wear a 26…..I have never spent one day in the hospital….my lipid panel stays in check so there are no heart conditions of any kind and no diabetes for that matter….or any other illness/diseas and I am the young age of 36. It's all in what you eat and how often you get excerise. A skinny person can have just as much fat sitting around their organs than a obese person….

  36. I'm sorry but big doesn't equal unhealthy….just like skinny doesn't represent healthy…..yes it is a risk factor to many diseases… but every person who smokes doesn't get lung cancer….I have been plus size my entire life….currently wear a 26…..I have never spent one day in the hospital….my lipid panel stays in check so there are no heart conditions of any kind and no diabetes for that matter….or any other illness/diseas and I am the young age of 36. It's all in what you eat and how often you get excerise. A skinny person can have just as much fat sitting around their organs than a obese person….

  37. Cynthia Battle on

    Why does she need to call overweight women fools? WTF is up with this article? The majority of big women didn't take her seriously when she started her skinny women are evil campaign. It was taken more as a confidence boost if anything else. Some women just CANT lose weight because of other factors that prevent them to. So since it is what it is, be happy with who you are instead of wallowing in your own misery and letting others put you down. I don't see anything wrong with that. The majority of overweight women, and men, know the risks with being overweight. They don't need Monique to tell them anything. This article was useless and this is my first and last time coming to this site.

  38. And besides skinny doesn't equal healthy….a person within their BMI can still have just as much fat around their organs as someone who is not….diet and exercise are the key to everything…..

  39. Kiki Glover on

    Why are people bashing monique for doing what she had to do for her health? Her old message taught big girls to love themselves and when it came to skinny women being evil she gave a valid reason why! Skinny woman constantly tear at the self esteem of larger women! The minute they get mad they call them a fat bitch! Monique showed big women they too are beautiful! Just because she lost weight now she is betraying big girls? Thats petty

  40. People change and people grow. She is doing something positive with her life and you have a problem with that? You need to reexamine your own life. As everyone else has stated this was totally a waste of time. There are other things you can be writing about.

  41. Rasheena Latham on

    I think her old message was "be with if you are a big girl." Today, she is saying if your are not happy with your size, simply change it. Nothing wrong with that. Your message is misguided.

  42. Candice Jeter on

    She did acknowledge it…she lost the weight. We are all adults, Monique doesn't owe anyone anything. Encouragement, not drama…smh…

  43. Khalil Kane on

    @ nomalanga – how bout for your next article you take yourself to task for changing your mind about something you said or believed years ago…nice waste of space you got here…

  44. Ebony S. Barton on

    Wow what a waste. She made a conscience decision to lose weight, she sounds like a hater. You Monique!

  45. JacQuan MarQuis on

    Did you read it completely? The article says,

    "What I am saying is that Monique needs to acknowledge that her old message was destructive, instead of trying to pretend that the women she told that being obese was “beautiful” are fools and did not realize that she jumped ship."

    Its simply pointing out the need to acknowledge what many people believe BECAUSE OF HER–> *Being Obese is Cute.*

    No contradiction in the message, she just want her to take personal responsibility. Maybe unnecessary, but not "hating."

  46. JacQuan MarQuis on

    That point of the article is for her to go back and apologize to the millions the followed her. Defend the words in her book however you want, but she know she was wrong in her overall message. That much is evident 80 lbs later.

  47. eactly how is she building ppls esteem while tearing down others…and now shes a 'skinny chick' by obese girls standards hahaha…what a hypocrite. she even made a book on this too.. i think she should take thse books off the market and if she really cares make a book that educates ppl now instead of giving mixed messages

  48. Roger James on

    So you are saying you are not saying Monique has to change her mind but that she should apologize for thinking how she thought then lol? Who does that. All of us when younger thought of things a certain days and because of life experiences you grow and mature. I did and thought in a way that I don't think now because I matured. I won't apologize for how I thought then because that allowed me to see what I know now as with everyone else. Its called evolving. Its constant

  49. Felinsha UniquelyMe Smith on

    I don't see it as betrayal either. I see it as accepting the responsibility that comes with personal growth.

    I commend Monique for recognizing and accepting her need for healthy changes, and staying the course to make those changes her new reality.

  50. I don’t think she was promoting being fat. She wanted women to love themselves for who they are. I’m proud of her! Being overweight is uncomfortable and unhealthy. I too am a big girl I just recently lost 50 pounds and I feel great! So I say let ppl talk! She’s doing what’s best for her health. So ppl need to get over it! Go Mo do ur thang!

  51. In Moniques comedy she would constantly lash at skinny women, and encourage being big but I think the ultimate message is loving yourself from the inside out is important. Being curvacious is fine but your health suffering from lack of a healthy lifestyle is not. Be whatever size you please as long as you take care of yourself.

  52. Maybe, she has health reasons to lose the weight. Maybe she meant to embrace how U are as long as U are there and to love yourself as U are. It's up to each individual to decide if this where U want to stay. I too am over weight and I made a decision to lose the weight because I want to be healthy while I live, no one else live in this body but me and I want to be there for my children in the days of old. U should be commending her on having the will power to get it done! God Bless U Monique! I am a Independent Distributor of Forever Living Products and I used the weight management program called Clean 9. Check out my site at

  53. Not YET! Just because you don't see any ill health now doesn't mean that as you get older you won't. In time you will. That is just how it works. Monique shouldn't have to recant a word she said in her previous books or messages. Loving who you are no matter what size is what matters. That is what Mo did and what she supported. Now if you read any of her recent interviews she will tell you why she lost the weight. TO BE HEALTHIER. She wants to be around to support her children, her man, to live her life. Being extremely overweight or obese is not healthy in the long run for anyone! Yes, even a skinny woman can be unhealthy, but the fact of the matter is at the end of the day, FOR MO, she has to feel 100% lighter, emotionally, psychologically and physically! I agree with her objective. Let us not over look that most, high percentage of PEOPLE not just women who are obese or severely overweight are NOT BECAUSE THEY LOVE FOOD, BUT BECAUSE they were either raised to to eat too much and/or have eating disorders. That's right! Emotional eaters. We never know what issues a person has had growing up who turned to food, not unlike sex, drugs, alcohol, cutting to cope! Think Oprah. It's a real issue within our AA communities, not to mention the world. Let's pay attention and look further than the surface. If Mo never thought she could loose this weight, something has shifted inside of her soul to say YES I CAN. And she did.

    • @Moon I couldn’t have said it better myself. Its about being healthy who cares what Mo said years ago, at some point we have to make a change why can’t ppl understand that? She got tired of being unhealthy, more of us need to get to that point. I sure did! I’m down 50 pounds and counting. I’m happy for her.

  54. Yulanda Sunshine Miller on

    Sometimes folks just need to think before they speak – out loud or in writing. Kudos to Mo'Nique!! I'm a big girl and always have been, and was comfortable in my skin. Now, I'm losing weight so I can be healthier and wealthier. So, Ms. Article writer, I agree with Tamara too! Wasted space. Black women need to encourage each other more and stop tearing each other down! Do your thang Mo'Nique, and live long!

  55. As A big woman it is her right to loss weight but as a big woman that she was a roll model for other big women to be strong , love themselves and proud to be…. to me she is a big sell out and has been long before the weight loss! She ain't about this life PHAT GIRLS ROCK.

  56. Ya, she definitely changed up her campaign. Nothing wrong with that, but she shouldn’t get a pass. She romanticized unhealthy weight and she needs to be held accountable. I wrote her an open letter, myself, which can be found on my blog.

    • Why did you write a open letter?? She has the right to choose a healthy life style if she wants too. You have no idea if her health was in jeopardy The message she wanted everyone to hear is love yourself! Leave the women alone!

  57. This article literally contradicts itself in every other paragraph which leads me to believe you don't even believe the bs you're writing, you just wanted to be another noticed hater. To address her message, I believe she does still believe big is beautiful, but big doesn't always mean unhealthy and skinny doesn't mean healthy. She happened to be unhealthy and wanted to change her life and she did.

    Either be happy or don't. No need to write an article that makes 0 sense and giving backward compliments about how you are happy, but want her to admit where she went wrong. I'm sorry, I didn't realize she was living for you or anyone else.

    Please gather the pieces of your life and move the hell on somewhere.

    • Wow! Ppl are really upset. If Mo was your only role model I feel sorry for you. So she’s the only reason big ppl felt good about themselves?Sorry but I don’t need another persons opinion to make me feel good about myself. I decided to loose weight to be healthier, its not fun being out of breath! Not being able to get on a carnival ride! Not being able to run after ur kids! Not finding clothing that fit right! For those that r happy with that good I’m happy for u. But for allot of us being over weight hinders us from living life. So with that said gone Mo! You look great! Ppl need to quit it!

  58. Tina Hunt Nwanisbarberstyle on

    Well Nomalanga needs to stfu. smh. Here we go again, downing another sista bc she wants to live and be healthy. She isn't betraying thicker women, she is still calling herself a big woman. She knows the struggle and what it feels like. Someone please cancel this person. omg

  59. Benessa Sweat on

    Some things are just too stupid for words. She wants to be healthy and she has made up her mind that she was doing it for herself. As an overweight women myself I would like to speak for myself and let Monique know that I don't feel betrayed, I feel inspired!!!!

  60. Obviously this ‘writer’ has never heard of satire (that’s what “Skinny B*** Are Evil” is, by the way)…

  61. Be Honest Monique on

    Agreed, she’s willing to address other stuff like her open marriage, TV show, etc…. She needs to acknowledge she let a number of women down the wrong path and now they are all contemplating weight loss surgery and joining gyms etc…. She needs to acknowledge that. I think she looks great and I’m happy for her weight loss success however she needs to own up to that one!

  62. Patricia Crowley-Davis on

    WHAT THE HELL! she a dam comedian first of all! —if a black chick is fat, thick, overweight, whatever you want to call yourself when you have more weight on you than you should took her seriously about being overweight as opposed to taking matters into their own hands and choosing to live a healthier life style that would allow them to loose weight and enjoy a healthier life then that's on them! life is full of CHOICES! she did what she had to do for HER to be here longer with her husband, children and family—— if other overweight women out there chose not to then carry on with your bigness, health problems and eventually die earlier than you have to! BUT as far as I see it she is a woman that has come to her senses and no longer lives to EAT but has chosen to exercise and eat properly to live a long and more healthy life for her……no matter if you are skinny or fat yea you are suppose to love yourself but hell if its killing you then again that's on YOU! TO EACH THEIR OWN………stupid azz article………….

  63. Justin Misfit Douglas on

    Little Miss Botswana probably doesn't have to worry about one of the main killers of obese American black women… diabetes. That's a very real thing for women of color here in the states, so it doesn't surprise me that she'd believe that getting your body healthy is tantamount to being hypocritical. Mo's old message wasn't destructive because the writer of this article completely missed the point of her old message, which is to hold your head high and proud of who you are, not that it's ok to be obese. She verbally fought against American black women starving themselves to be Hollywood skinny, which in any culture is unhealthy. Next time Miss Nomalanga has an opinion on the current state of American black women, their weight, and those that advocate not being ashamed of who they are and finding their path to happiness regardless of size, she should stop trying to reach a deadline with an article and put that assistant professorship to use actually researching her facts on who she's writing about.

  64. Monique had a right to make the healthier change. I too believe she should encourage those that followed her into obesity to follow her into healthier life styles. Dress size may not matter, but I'm not sure that a size 22 is at anyone's best health. No malanga got that point across just fine! Open minds, eyes, & hearts. Looking good Mo'!

  65. Monique had a right to make the healthier change. I too believe she should encourage those that followed her into obesity to follow her into healthier life styles. Dress size may not matter, but I'm not sure that a size 22 is at anyone's best health. No malanga got that point across just fine! Open minds, eyes, & hearts. Looking good Mo'!


  67. Thank you! There is a reason why I tend to skip over pieces by Nomalanga. She isn't particularly intelligent and tend to act too much on emotion and her own personal feelings instead of looking at the subject as a whole and make a balance & fair assessment. This was completely a waste of space – much like her entire blog.

  68. This article is a waste. If you did your research she has addressed her previous message of big and beautiful. she said she decided to lose weight after watching herself in precious made her realize she was very unhealthy

  69. I have a good friend who is a fairly healthy big person but has problems bending over, walking without waddling, doing anything physical or any number of things that require moving the body. Healthy maybe, but certainly not good.

  70. Glad she did not allow her pride to get in the way of her health. I think she led by example. I don’t think she needs to apologize to anyone. Her message is in her weight loss. I did not agree with what she said in 04 but it was a joke and who takes comedians seriously anyway. Ask Bill Cosby

  71. Vaughn Callender on

    She is so lame. She makes money by doing comedy that seperates black women and puts the worst part of our culture on ront street for public consumption. But now she wants to be skinny

  72. You are absolutely correct! I just hope that all of her "big girls" will follow her example and try to get healthy…..and I don't believe she did it without any intervention either.

  73. Chris Fowler on

    The point of this article escapes me. People evolve and make decisions in their lives when presented with new information.

  74. Rhonda Johnson on

    She wrote that book 9 years ago.people change and in monique's way it was for the better. She has young children and needs to be here to raise them. Lets give it up to monique for deciding to live a healthy lifestyle b4 its 2 late!!!!

  75. its great she has lost the weight. she gives hope to obese women that there is hope to lose the ugly weight. please share your weight loss program excercises and eating plan thanks

  76. LaWanda Jones on

    with growth and maturity comes change. maybe you'll seek the same change Monique has, because slander one's is equal to the same ignorance that led Monique to promoting obesity. (smh)

  77. Prince Toddy English on

    This article was counter productive. We as black people suffer overwhelmingly from ailments like: Hypertension, Type 2 Diabetes, and the subsequent complications that come with both. Monique did what was right for her health and HOPEFULLY more women will follow in her footsteps.
    Being obese (not thick. Let's call it what it is) is unhealthy. Time for us to stop celebrating it.

  78. Wait a minute no one knows what other issues may have played a roll in her decision. Weight that is tolerated at 20-30 may not be as tolerant at 40-50-60. Its her health and life some lessons are only learned when you arrive there let her alone let her live what is best and healthy for HER!

  79. Shawn Evans-Royal on

    Regardless of what she said. WE KNOW THAT WAS UNHEALTHY. Just cause she said that done mean follow her.


  81. Ruby from NJ on

    No cigar for you, Nomalanga! This time you are wrong, wrong, wrong. It’s better to “betray overweight Black women” and live better and longer than to support their obesity and die young like so many of them. You’re smart; you know that obesity brings with it high blood pressure,leading to strokes, heart problems, arthritis and the need for knee and/or hip replacements. I say good for you, Monique! Now keep working till you lose another thirty pounds.

  82. There are no scientifically validated arguments that size matters with health. The largest and longest study on this subject found four healthy behaviors, regardless of size, predicted longevity of life and that consists of no smoking, regular exercise, five fruits/veggies per day, and regular sleep. That's it! In fact the scientific community can't figure out what to do with the so called "obesity paradox" that those who are overweight or obese live longer and fight illness better than those who are so called normal weight. So there's your science. Now how about ethics? If 95% of people who diet fail and regain all their weight within five years and in fact 87% of those regain all plus more, then why do we keep saying to people lose weight? In fact we ate learning that the major cause of heart issues related to obesity is not obesity buy instead the stress on the heart from repeated caloric (and nutrient) restriction which causes electrical disruption for low potassium and the subsequent weigh regain that puts additional stress on the heart to re-regulate the hormonal disruption. Do that a bunch (we average 15 yo-yo diets by age 30 in America) and we see major damage. So if I were to say to someone to do a behavior that has just 5% chance of working but a significant chance at negatively impacting your health, would you do it? No! First rule of medicine is do no harm! We can make the best changes in our lives by doing healthy behaviors and not focusing on size or weight and instead accept out bodies for what they do for us. It's a concept called HAES, health at every size. It's achievable. It's measurable and it does no harm. Monique is still learning and I hope her self esteem is not scale-dependent. But I hope you consider all the options for what health means, mental and physical alike.

  83. This is a silly article and I am not sure what YOU are trying to promote. What Monique said years ago about her weight was true then for her but no longer. And I would not say that all big women can lose a lot of weight because some are just built a certain way. Perhaps what she said many moons ago were for such women and what she's saying now are for those who can lose the weight. This article is foolish and just here to stir the pot. Go Monique, there's nothing wrong with making changes and reinventing yourself – I'm on the same path.

  84. People change. Their thinking should change. I'm glad she stopped the "big girl" affirmations and began taking better care of herself. She is leading by example. She is healthier. Diabetes, heart disease, soar joints, breathing issues are not cute. I've seen the pics over the last year and she got the wake up call so many Black women ignore. I am proud of her and I am inspired to keep pushing for my own victory over obesity!

  85. Alexander Weaver on

    Monique was onetime foolish when she made those statements, this journalist should be commending her for maturing and seeing the error of her former way of thinking.

  86. really? this is where the focus is? that her "old message was destructive"? maybe just maybe, Monique saw the error of her ways and probably wanted all these overweight teenagers like that portrayed in know that there is an alternative.. you may be naturally "BIG" but you don't have to STAY that way.. healthy living is a lifestyle not a fad.. stop focusing on dumb shit and focus on something that may actually matter like healthier alternatives to well loved recipes, or exercises that can be easily added to your daily routine…

  87. What bullshit! Monique looking out for HERSELF is not a betrayal to anyone! No matter what image she promoted, it is common sense that being obese is not the way to be. I am so sick and tried of everyone attacking black women for her fucking choices! You look well Mo, and fuck what anyone has to say about it…in the meantime….FUCK THIS STUPID ASS ARTICLE!

  88. Leta Lagaunda on

    I agree. She has a right to loose weight and become more health conscious. Change is good. I've said lots of things in my past but today, I have a new viewpoint . What's with that? It's called growth. We live, learn grow erall in an effort to do better. I celebrate her .

  89. Betrayal That’s ridiculous If anything She is an inspiration to other Black Women who may be overweight!Monique used Her comedy to deal with Her excess weight when she was a Big girl,She now lives healthier and works out! and You Nomalanga,says She has betrayed black women That’s crazy If anything You are Betraying them trying to start friction between them!

  90. I think people should make up their minds about making healthy lifestyle changes. Lets be serious here ladies everyone has a mirror, and it’s your choice ot make a positive lifestyle change if you’re not happy at the reflection that stares back at you. As for Monique … I’m sure no man really needed to tell her that she was obese. In my point of view with all the negative talk about thin woman, just goes to show everyone that she wished to become a smaller women at some point in her life. The women was obese, and she had the loudest mouth trying to convince the world that she was happy being Fat … Next. Smh at some of these entertainers, and the people that are willing to jump on there band wagons. What’s next for her? Perhaps a deal with weight watchers. It appears to me that Mo is looking for a new job … Mouths to feed. Now their eating less.

  91. Courtney Parks on

    This article is presumptuous to the fact that even if you weigh 150lbs, according to the BMI you can still be obese. The key factors are making sure your Dr. is in tune with your body to truly be sure of your health!!!! I am way over what the BMI states for my height but my Dr. Is aware of my body functions and no health problems. Change is always good for some bad for others. She never has stated that she wanted others to be unhealthy but to realize to seek help when you know you need it. That's what she did and another plan was set in its place.

  92. Regina Perry Jumah on

    Monique doesn't owe GROWN women anything. Be responsible for yourSELF. If you still want to eat chips and dip, do YOU! Monique will be at the gym. LoL

  93. Wow, I don't say this often, but I don't know what the heck this writer is complaining about. It seems like from reading this you have a problem with Monique changing her mind or becoming more educated or evolving or trying to better herself, or live a healthier life, I can keep going. This article is what is wrong with our society, instead of commending and supporting a woman hard work to improve one of the biggest challenges she has ever faced, you will write an article saying she betrayed her old self by improving. I hope people will look at this article and say I don't want to think like this writer.

  94. Whew! I look up to Mo'. She started out Me +/- 10 pounds and see her now has given me a glimpse of my future as I continue my 45 year struggle since elementary school. We cannot presume to know her entire story simply from what you see and what she said. She may have given you a glimpse of her reality 'as of a particular moment.' However, it is a sign of true maturity that as you come into the knowledge of the truth, you embrace it and obey it. Both Mo's are authentic and her spoken thoughts are too. Regardless of which sized body your YOU lives in, be you and be the best you. People like myself need to see her overcome. If she gets big again for whatever reason, then she will demonstrate that you have to fight to keep your deliverance and you cannot stop restarting. Stay in the race and strive until the end. I look up to Mo' and only wish that the bigger version of myself lived in confidence that g she portrayed:that I am still uniquely and wonderfully made. She wasn't big because of you and she is not more fit because of you and she won't let you drive her either direction. She is stronger than that (now). Something internal is driving her. I suspect it is God himself. Don't just take what you see and hear and think and declare that that is all there is. I appreciate her for allowing me the witness both the struggle and the victory!

  95. Janee' Revolutionarewe on

    Yeah, People are sick & ignorant. I've seen so many people talk about her like a dog because of her new lifestyle. Cray

  96. Nina Chifashiondiva Francois on

    Exactly, It's time for the "big is beautiful" club to realize clogged arteries and strokes are not beautiful

  97. Nomalanga, I love you and all the fine material you write about but this one shouldn’t have been the one to write about. I love reading your articles and please don’t stop writing. Your faithful reader

  98. We are always complaining about getting health and when someone does we call them a sale out some where born large some small some medium we are not the same God didn’t make us that way, so we shouldn’t either stay health Monique

  99. The only “betrayal” that I see is coming from YOU!
    This is the most ridiculous article that I have read in a long time. What kind of person thinks that a woman getting healthy is betraying obese women? An obese woman and all women should be self confident and can be healthy but eventually those joints are going to feel it. Your article has betrayed any woman that believes it. Instead of telling people that Monique has betrayed them, you should be telling them to consider her to be roll model for getting healthy.

  100. Corrie Wynns on

    It’s wrong to dismiss “procedures” better known as weight loss surgery as the easy way out.

    As a WLS patient, all of the things you must do in order to remain healthy take a lot of effort. You must learn about nutrition, fitness and wellness, even pharmacology as it relates to vitamins and minerals.

    I have a procedure called a Duodenal Switch. After 11 years of “hard work”, I did not lose weight.
    After having the DS, 245 excess pounds are gone.

    No endorsements, just facts.

      • Corrie Wynns on

        Enid, at the time I had my surgery – 2/25/2009, only 50 surgeons **worldwide** performed the DS, as it is known.Now, that number is up to 75 **worldwide**. I know several others who are very much in the public eye who have had this particular weight loss surgery. Believe me when I tell you it is by no means the easy way out. It is more expensive in the long run, because you must eat high quality protein and complex carbohydrates, not sugar, flour and fat-laden foods, but furits vegetbles and whole grains. If you are unable to eat enough protein, 90-100 grams daily, then you must supplement your nutritional plan with protein shakes and/or nutrition bars. A treat is permissible, but unlike the more well-known and more widely performed gastric bypass, it will not make you deathly ill. It can make for some intestinal unpleasantness, but you can have an occasional sweet treat without having a bad reaction to sugar, as many do with the gastric bypass. The surgery itself can be done open, which is how I had mine, because my BMI (body mass index) was *way* over 50, and that was my surgeon’s limit, or laparoscopically. More are done laparoscopically now, because better techniques for very obese patients have been developed.
        If you search Duodenal Switch, you will come up with a number of sites that explain the surgery in detail, with illustrations. This surgery saved my life, and is putting me on the path toward becoming productive once again. My obesity, along with several other health issues, put me on disability. This surgery is my ticket back to life!

        Of course, being able to wear a much smaller size that my former 32/34 is a fringe benefit!

        I do have a lot of sagging stretched out skin, which is more than a cosmetic problem now. The removal process will start this year, and then I can hopefully, finally, live the life I choose, and not have it dictated by the size of my clothing or what the scale says.

  101. Really????? As you said MoNique wrote the book in 2004.As her husband expressed his concern for her health, it was for the better. (Like you never said something and had a change of heart!)At that time MoNique thought being over weight was ok.Leave this well respected strong sista alone and let her enjoy her weight lose for all the hard work she put in to lose it and keep it off, stop holding on to what was said in the past.Cheers to a healthier you MoNique.

  102. Corrie Wynns on

    Enid–and if anyone else is wondering –

    The number of vitamin and mineral supplements you must take, in addition to maintaining a healthy nutrition plan requires a lot of work, and a lot of patient education.

    It is not a procedure for the lazy or non-compliant, bad nutrition with this surgery can make you very ill and malnourished, and malnutrition, whether it causes obesity or starvation, can and will kill you.

  103. This was a dumb ass, non sensical article. All Monique was doing before was to let large women know that they were still special and she was being facetious when she said skinny women are evil. Just because she was saying it was ok to be large doesn’t mean that she should deny herself a healthier alternative

  104. Look,I’m happy that Monique lost all that weight and continues to loose more. Anybody who tries and make it seem like being 200 pounds+ some,is “cute” is on a new type of high. You don’t need to be stick thin,but you do need to be at a healthy weight,that will help you live a better,stronger and longer life. If anything,the author was trying to say she found Monique’s transformation hypocritical. I’m not mad at the woman,as a matter of fact,I’m happy for her,but i hope Monique remembers all of the mean and nasty things she said about skinny woman. Because as always,the past is going to come back and bit her in the butt.

  105. Pingback: Health Shaming: Feminist Rhetoric is in Need of an Intervention – The HI Blog

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