Nomalanga: Why Solange Attacked Her Sister’s Husband Jay Z

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beyonce-jay-z-solange-178By Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses

Yesterday, when the news broke that Solange Knowles had allegedly attacked her sister Beyonce’s husband, Jay Z, my first reaction was not to believe it. Tabloids make up or exaggerate news stories all the time! I did however get to see the video footage of a woman who looked like Solange attacking a man who looked like Jay Z while a woman who looked like Beyonce stood by.

Looking through my Facebook timeline, I could see four main reasons that many speculate may have been behind the attack, assuming the man was in fact Jay Z and the woman was Solange:

1. Solange has seen Jay Z abuse her sister or cheat on her sister – If Solange witnessed her sister being subjected to verbal or physical abuse, maybe she just could not contain her rage and decided that she was going to attack her sister’s husband. Also, if Solange saw her sister’s husband carrying on inappropriately with another woman, this could have been enough to set her off.

2. Solange is sleeping with Jay Z – As hard as it is for me to believe this, many people were speculating that Solange may have been having “relations” with her brother in law. One person even commented “women never get worked up like this about a man unless they are sleeping with him”.

3. Solange was either drunk or on drugs – The curious part about saying that Solange was attacking Jay because she was drunk or on drugs is that it still begs the question of what exactly set her off. While she may have been inebriated, we still have to wonder what happened to make her so “fighting mad”.

4. Solange is mentally ill – Many reports say that Solange has struggled with mental illness, specifically bipolar disorder, in the past. Some have even further speculated that she was off her medication and was having an “episode”.

The video is below; see for yourself:

[leadplayer_vid id=”5371F12CD0F5B”]

My take on the story:

First of all, no matter which one of those scenarios may be true, there is no justifiable reason for Solange to attack her sister’s husband, any man or any person. Violence is never the answer. Having said that though, it may be understandable if she was behaving that way because she did, in fact, feel that her sister was in some way being threatened. If, behind closed doors, Jay abuses his wife, many people would certainly react the way we saw Solange acting BUT it still does not make it right.

If Beyonce is in an unhealthy or dysfunctional relationship, that is her choice and her right. If she chooses to stay, so be it. Just so we are clear; I am not saying that Jay Z abuses his wife nor have I seen or heard anything that suggests that he does. What I am saying is that Beyonce is a grown woman and she is the only one who gets to decide what she will and will not tolerate in her relationship with her husband.

On the question of whether or not Beyonce should have intervened, (a lot of people seem to think that she should have), I believe that she should not have. Here is what I posted on a friend’s Fabebook wall, in response to a lot of people saying Beyonce should have gotten in the middle of the “craziness”:

I have a different take on this:

1. I did see her at some point appear to talk sense to her sister.

2. No, she did not have to get tangled in it. Sometimes it’s okay to let things play out and then address them after they calm down.

3. He is a man so I don’t think he needed a woman to defend him from an attack from another woman. How much harm could Solange have done…especially with a bodyguard holding her?

4. Choosing not to act is just as empowered a position as choosing to act.

5. Just so we’re clear; I am NOT a Beyonce fan or groupie or whatever they are called.

At the end of the day, we will never know exactly what happened and even if we do find out what caused Solange to behave the way she did, we can not be certain how much of it is true and how much has been “doctored” by a publicist.

Another thing to keep in mind is that Beyonce, Solange and Jay Z are human beings, just like the rest of us. They are going to have disagreements, fights and drama just like everyone else. Granted, I do not have personal experience with that level of “drama” but I still think that we may be making more out of it than it is because they happen to be celebrities.

One final note: I do commend Jay Z on how he handled the incident. He resisted hitting her back and that is a lot more than can be said for many men.

Nomalanga helps Black women thrive in their lives and careers. She is a Social Commentator, an Editor at Your Black World , a former College Professor and Mrs Botswana. Visit Nomalanga’s Facebook page or Follow her on Twitter

To find out how you can book Nomalanga for your next conference or event, click here.

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25 Comments

    • @Doris…

      I’m with you! “WHO CARES”…!

      Now at the count of 3 go back into your corners and come out fighting again LMBO!!! Black-men pay big money to watch 2 men get into a ring and beat the crapola out of each other until their eyes balls are all swollen up, some have died behind it, they “ONLY” call it a “SPORT”. Life happens everyday, this is only big because its a “CELEB”… It can also be looked upon at many different “ANGLES”, get over it, shuk it off your shoulds and move on. By all means have a sense of humor cuz it ain’t the end of the world yet…

  1. @Nomalanga…

    I hear ya, heard every word you said, but this is still some funny azz shyt!!! Hilarious! Hilarious! Hilarious!….. and your article is very very comic-able LMBO! You have a great sense of humor on this one… But all the same “THIS IS WAR!!!” and black male & female are at odds and against all odds today, so most of it will fall on death ears…
    People do a lot of talking, but actions speak louder then words. So I’m just going to find the humor in it and keep rolling cuz nothing is going to change anytime soon…

  2. I personally think that if Jay-Z was an abusive man, he would not have hesitated to hit her back, also knowing full well that his wife would do nothing about it. It may just be that he was acting inappropriately with another woman, something which may have happened in the past and as you said had been boiling up inside of Solange. Beyonce probably just chooses to keep her fights in the privacy of her home where her staff have been made to sign iron clad agreements on privacy. It may be that Solange has acted this way before, just that we have never had the privilege of seeing it. Granted, violence does not solve anything, but Kudos to Jay Z for the way he handled the matter…It may also just be that they wanted to add a little more controversy to their repetoire..who doesnt know that there are cameras in elevators..and this family has always been known to be very private. why now??

  3. Saying Beyoncé is grown and has a right to accept whatever treatment she’s getting from JayZ is like saying you condone abusive behavior to women. All of your “I’m just saying” is protecting whom?

  4. Violence be it a man or woman is unacceptable except in the case of self defense. So what would you say if Jay Z defended himself from her attack than your double standard would kick in if it was in fact her she needs to keep her hands to herself unless she wants to be dealt with like a man.

  5. Spot on with this article violence is wrong and it is not the answer. And I agree Beyoncé did the right thing by not getting involved. Also, I commend Jay Z for how he handled the situation because he did what a lot of men would not have and that is he refrained from hitting her back. As far as Solange goes I understand she can be hot temptered at times. They are among every sibling group.

  6. Per Tiffany Rose….

    I’m not saying violence is right, but I seen a video of Jay-Z punching and beating this woman who had taken a pic of him walking by her back stage. Nobody talks abt that shit! Y’all walk around here thinking this human is a God and can do no wrong!
    Maybe he provoked her, maybe he didn’t idk. …. I jst know he is no saint. The video I seen was abt 8 yrs ago.

  7. The kidnapped girls in Afrika is much more important.

    This incident with Solange, Beyonce and Jay-Z ain’t news.

  8. Gladys Tarpeh on

    I agree. Violence is never the answer. Solange needs to stay out of her sister’s beeswax. If you know what I mean. If Bayonnce is being abused or whatever, she’s a big girl. She can take care of her self.

    • Real sister power and bonding is very very strong especially if their mother raised them to stick together, and plus they’ve been going throw issues behind their father messing around on the mother too, so we really don’t know what Bey and her sister are actually walking throw right now. Divorce affect children, changes don’t all happen over night.

  9. And you know what they say: If the father is a cheater, his daughter will marry a cheater or the son will become a cheater too… Family Dynamics

  10. You guys need to break away from these misleading and bulls**t titles. Instead of writing about fact (as your title infers), your just slanging more S**t. This story is old and dead.

  11. Although it may be funny, a woman who hits a man is asking for it… My boy JAY was critical of Chris Brown. I bet now he’s like, “maybe Chris wasn’t all that in the wrong.” I mean she even kicked her shoe at this man.
    What did he do? he picked it up and handed it to her. Women have a free pass to act like asses & then pull the woman card as a defense. Not cool. Had he chocked her, he’d be abusive. Double standard… And all the guys laughing need to really think. What if your ex decides to slap you publicly and then only records your response for the cameras? LOL. Yeah, it just got real didn’t it? 😉

    • @Mr. Bunziii from the ORIENT…

      First off you can’t speak for all women. Second I don’t fight men or women, I don’t fight at all in the physical, and there is a 1000 and one ways to skin a snake without ever putting one finger on the vermin.
      The elevator shyt was funny! What goes around comes around. So what do you have to say about yo man Jay-Z punching that young women in face for taking a picture of him about 5 yrs ago? I guess you have excuses for that too huh!!! Payback is just a mother huh….. LMBO!!! Hell yeah that shyt was HILARIOUS!!!! The Redbone!

  12. SUGAR HILL, NEW YORK on

    TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH IT IS A FAMILY ISSUE. I AGREE WITH THE STATEMENT THAT JAY MUST’VE ACT INAPPROPIATELY WITH SOMEONE ELSE, AND THAT DAY, SOLANGE DECIDED TO STAND UP FOR HER SISTER, WHETHER BEYONCE WAS GONNA WAS BACK HER SISTA UP. WHAT I DO DISAGREE WITH THE WRITER OF THE ARTICLE, SAYING THAT HOW MUCH DAMAGE COULD SOLANGE COULD’VE DONE, AS THOUGH, SHE COULDN’T HAVE DONE ANY REAL BODILY HARM TO JAY. ON THE CONTRARY STUPID SHE COULD’VE KICKED HIM IN THE NUTTS, OR MISSED AND KNOCKED AN EYE OUT. TO THE WRITER OF THIS ARTICLE YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK COULD’VE HAPPENED.

  13. Charlene Griffin on

    Whatever it was that is they biz. I no we wanna no but truth is we will never truly no. They are too private with their biz. I hope for the best 4 them. Power couples are few in our culture. 🙂

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