Nomalanga’s Mindful Mondays: How and Why I Stopped Hoping


DSC_3198By Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses

One of my Facebook friends shared that she had stopped trying-not in the way that one would think. What she meant was that she no longer said she would “try” to do anything, and instead she would just either do something or not. This led me to re-think all the things that I often say I “hope” for.

“This year I hope I’ll have time to read more”

“I hope I can organize more women’s events”

Much like trying, hoping is a passive way of thinking. A lot of people who say things like “I hope” and “one day” and “I’ll try” actually don’t end up doing whatever they were talking about. You see, built into words like “hope” and “try”, is a little back door that a person can use to escape doing what they said they would do. As for “one day”, people have died still talking about what they were going to do “one day”.

When I was growing up, my father generally didn’t commit to a lot of things when I would ask him; instead, he would say “let me think about it” and then he would later either agree or not. He generally didn’t give me answers like “I’ll try”. This taught me that when you say you are going to do something, you must do it and it also taught me that I should not commit to do things when I was unsure about whether or not I would do them.

And so, today, I am recommitting to action over, hoping and trying. I will no longer hope; I will do what needs to be done to accomplish what I aspire to. I won’t hope things happen or “try” to do things. This, I believe is a more honest and disciplined way of thinking while hoping and trying are passive and mediocre ways of living.

Today, I encourage you to stop, hoping, trying and saying “one day”. Just do it.

What have you been “hoping for? What Have you been saying you will do “one day”? And will you now stop talking about it and just do it?

Nomalanga helps Black women thrive in their lives and careers. She is a Social Commentator, an Editor at Your Black World , Assistant Professor of Professional Studies and the reigning Mrs Botswana. Visit Nomalanga’s Facebook page or Follow her on Twitter



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