Nomalanga’s Mindful Mondays: Are You Judgmental?

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DSC_3198By Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses

Anyone of us who claims they are not judgmental is likely not telling the truth because we all judge in varying degrees. It is actually natural to judge; we do it all the time and not necessarily in a bad way.  Our lives are full of decisions, big and small and before we make most decisions about what to do or say, we make judgements. Those judgements are generally not bad; they are a natural way to move through life.

The kind of judgements that are not always good are the ones which we direct at people, especially people we claim to love and care about. I came across a post I made on one of my Facebook pages over a year ago that said:

“You can not have a heart to heart connection with someone that you judge. Judging blocks your hearts from connecting. Being compassionate opens your hearts to connecting. If you want to connect with someone, stop judging them.”

I believe that not everyone that crosses our path, in life, is meant to necessarily stay in our lives. We must, at times, make decisions about who we allow into our lives and who we must, as hard as it may sometimes be, have to move away from because our paths are different.  There are those people, however, who are close to us; our spouses, children, parents and siblings, who we love but fail to show compassion to. These, people, along with close friends and other people in our lives, are the ones we sometimes judge harshly and end up not being able to connect with in a deeper and more meaningful way.

Today, consider that maybe you have been too busy judging someone you claim to love and care about instead of showing them love, understanding and compassion. Consider making a shift and aiming for a connection rather than a judgmental attitude towards them. When we stop judging people, we open the door for understanding and compassion.

 Nomalanga helps Black women thrive in their lives and careers. She is a Social Commentator, an Editor at Your Black World , a former College  Professor and Mrs Botswana. Visit Nomalanga’s Facebook page or Follow her on Twitter

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