One Woman Tells The Truth About Why Being 35 and Single Is Terrible…and Amazing


By: Krystle Crossman

Being single is not a bad thing. Some people thing that being single when you are older is the worst thing possible, but it really is not. One woman tells her story about how she is 35 years old, still single, and how it is a good thing and a bad thing at the same time.

Katie Devine always thought that she was going to be living out every woman’s dream of being married and having a family when she was older. She says that she remembers when she was a child that she would do anything that other people found scary. She would make very impulsive decisions without really thinking about the consequences first. Now that she is 35 she still feels like she is that little girl, always doing those things that scared her.

Katie attended a wedding sans date and said that another woman couldn’t believe that she would go alone to a wedding. She said that was something that she never could do and would rather stay home. Katie quickly moved on from the conversation because that was one of her fears as well. She made a post on Facebook that she hoped would help her to move on from that fear. The post read, “If I only went places where someone accompanied me, I would never go anywhere. Don’t be afraid to do the things you want to do because you don’t have a ‘date’. You are your own best company”.

She says that what she has learned from this is that you can still live your life and be happy even though you aren’t with someone. She says that she doesn’t want to go on trips alone but she does because the option of staying at home is so much worse. Katie states that you can live your life but still want what you don’t have.



  1. If a woman is 35 and still single something is wrong with her and it kinda say that a guy thinks she is too difficult and not worth dealing with on a long term basis. She probably has too much attitude, too mouthy, think she knows everything, and too controlling. PeAce

    • I don’t like your comment because it is silly and spoken without merit. Maybe she is waiting for the right man to give up her singlehood. Not all marriages are great marriages. Until she finds the right man – why not continue to live her life and prepare herself for when the right man comes. There are plenty of women who should stay single – but, instead they choose to be in abusive relationships because they don’t want to be single.

    • First I would like to say, why does the woman have to be all mouthy that sounds like a Bull statement as well as a bully statement,it takes two to make a relationship, and yes you are entitled to your opinion,however you are making a statement that makes no sense to me at all, you thinking is like women are made to look good and stay closed mouth,that was the 1800’s this is the 21st century.Please re-evluate what it means to have a good Woman beside you,unless of course you are Gay and strictly for men.

    • that is so not true @CB.. i’m older than 35. i’m single, i’m divorced, i’m widowed.. i only choose to stay alone. doesn’t mean i don’t have sex. but being alone is by choice else you can stay with some dominating overbearing man that tries to rule you or control you & independent women are just not going for that needy desperation type must be with a man type flow. we honor and we demand respect. that if a man can’t give it, yeah go to the hoodlums or the ghetto trash. sex is easy. love is hard & true friendship is even harder to find. so, skittles! 😉

    • I can’t believe that there is so much stigma about being alone at a certain age and you would let others put that stigma on you. I was alone for a lot of years dating and having fun and even when I was involved I went to weddings and other important events alone – that’s just me. I met the man of my dreams at 38 and we went our separate ways at 39 and I got saved right around that time and didn’t need a man – I had Jesus. The more happy I got with myself the happier I became and I resigned myself to being alone (I had Jesus and great memories). My Ex of almost 20 yrs before called me out of the blue 20 yrs later and now he’s my husband which I can’t believe the sense of humor of God but I’m happier – didn’t even know I was missing him. I was complete and happy within myself so I attracted a man who added to my bliss. U need God Not a Man!!!! Complete yrself – stop living in the world and listening to insanity – Believe God for Your Life!!!!

  2. Thank you, I believe it’s nothing wrong with being alone and doing things alone because you have the best times being alone. My grandmother always taught me that you were born by yourself and you will die by yourself.

    • So true. My grandmother said the same thing. Being single and alone is not the same as being lonely. Couples in marriages can be lonely. Living single is lovely and you are preparing yourself for the right person to come along. Statistically, all marriages are not that great and, perhaps, they envy the single person.

  3. Being single at any stage of your life is not so bad. I was once married and now divorced. The marriage only last two years. Marriage was not a good experience for me and I am not exactly rushing to enter into another one. I am at a point in life where I enjoy being alone. I have accomplished so much more in life without the nuisances of a bad relationship. If it make you feel better about being single, do not attend bridal showers and weddings. Just purchase a gift for the person, congratulate them, and go on with you life. Enjoy.

  4. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. After a divorce and two grown children with children of their own, I have a full enjoyable life. I have been all over the world and have met wonderful men and women but a second marriage is not something I would consider. One marriage was enough for me.

  5. I can recall at six years old making the decision to not get married or have children. I can recall being in my late twenties and realizing that probably for the first time in his(story), it is a legitimate choice not to get married and have children. What a relief. With the rate of overpopulation, starvation and orphans in the world, there is nothing wrong with a generation not having to get married and have children. I have been married to my husband for seventeen years. We do not have children. Although I chose to marry him, I still have reservations about having children. And the clock is ticking, but I’m not worried about it. Is this woman beautiful? Healthy? Happy? Why don’t we ask those questions instead of imposing our impressions upon her. If you choose to be married with children good for you. If she chooses to be single good for her. There is room for both. Unfortunately, black women live in a world that has no place for her. Perhaps its time to expand our thinking and make room for other choices.

  6. We are our own worst “bashers” — we black women. I agree with Sarah, in that we need to “expand our thinking and make room for other choices”.

    And I would be more “suspicious”, if that is the right word to use, of an unmarried man than an unmarried woman.

  7. I just recently turned 50 and I’m single AGAIN. My husband just recently passed away after we were newly married. He was misdiagnosed for two years by the VA hospital. I thought we would have spent at least ten years together because he was an older man. I have been married three times and all of them were short lived. Because my last husband was the BEST man I ever had I learned AGAIN what love is and I lived it with him. I am so comfortable with being single again because I experienced the love I’d always desired. My concentration is to continue to live an ABUNDANT life because I am still among the living and that is what I would advise everyone. It took the loss of my husband for this lesson to become REAL to me even though I knew it–it had not soaked in. Today, I do not allow negative people or haters around me because I am happy and I’m living a happy life.

  8. Personally I don’t feel any man should get married these days. You have all these feminist telling women that men ain’t this and men ain’t that. And a lot of men with no balls who try to portray men as some dark demon only good for getting his money and having him take care of some other mans baby that she conceived while in a supposedly relationship. So it goes both ways. Men don’t have a patent on evilness, wrong doing and deceit. It is women who take great pleasure of deceiving men and laugh behind their backs to their ratchet girl friends.

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