“Real Men” Discuss Their True Feelings

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downloadBy: Krystle Crossman

Men are very vocal about a lot of different topics such as sports, cars, women, and money. But when it comes to actual feelings many of them clam up and won’t budge. It is becoming more and more apparent that men need to be able to talk about their feelings and the issues that they are facing, especially if they are mental health issues. If they keep everything bottled up inside it could lead to tragedy.

A new study in the Journal of Men’s Health shows that men are emotionally affected far more than we realize by divorce. After a divorce they tend to do reckless things such as drink and abuse drugs or distance themselves from friends and family which cuts off any support they could have had.

Author Josh Rivedal speaks about how he lost his father to suicide and his father had lost his father to suicide as well. Both had mental health issues but were so worried about the stigma against men seeking help for their feelings and mental well-being that neither got the outlet that they needed. Rivedal himself said that he was at a point in his life at one time where he was standing out on a 4th story ledge because things were going horribly for him. But then he took a step back and realized that killing himself was not the answer. Instead he reached out to his mother.

From there Rivedal was able to open up to friends and family and get the support that he needed to get well again. He recommends that every guy who is feeling lost, hurt, or confused do the same. It is nice to know that you have someone in your corner, someone you can vent to when times get hard so that it doesn’t all well up into one major problem. He stresses that asking for help is not a weakness and does not make someone less of a man. It makes you stronger because you know that you need the help and you are willing to fight.

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3 Comments

  1. Humm… Great Article / To the writer: Just a beginning.
    It is true, men don’t articulate, especially black-men, and this statement is not meant to be a negative, but it is factual from my many experiences.
    I don’t know what the percentage is concerning African American women who actually even know how to communicate with a black-man, but I do know its very very “LOW”, unmistakable, and very very pronounced… its very very sad but its also factual.
    This article spoke about Josh Rivedal crying out to his mother/family for help, that’s all about “Trust, RELATIONSHIP, and a CONNECTION”. Without those (3 commitments) “COMMUNICATION” will never be established, especially between black on black relationships, family included.
    AGAIN:communication is a serious issue when it come to black-men.

    Before I hang-up let me just say to my sisters: *communicating with our children will never compare with communicating with our black-men.
    Walking in “RELATIONSHIP” with God taught me how to communicate with men. Without my personal relationship with God I would have never been able to communicate with men. Sisters, we need to be taught. These blog forums expose so much drama and chaos concerning our black communities period, that’s due to a total lack of “TRUST”, no connection and no “RELATIONSHIP HABITS”… until these 3 commitments come into action in all of our lives as a whole the African American communities within the USA will continue to down-spiral… Relationship with our God has to come first.
    *******ARE WE TIRED YET?

  2. If we don’t learn how to listen with a “HUMBLE HEART” and a “FOCUS TO HEAR” we will never “DEVELOPE” relationship habits.
    If you can’t “HEAR GOD” you can’t hear a real blackman when he speaks.
    Real blackmen with integrity speak from the heart of God. You will know them by their “FRUITS”, and their fruits are not about the BLING! BLING!
    God has his good stuff “HIDDEN” from the natural eyes of man, it can only be found with a spiritual-eye through a (1 on 1) “PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP” with God. So my black sisters if your wondering why many of our righteous blackmen are not interested in communicating with us then read with a focus and some understanding. Matthew 13:10-16

  3. If my righteous black sisters take some quality time to actually listen to some of our black-men you will learn and see that many of them are walking through tenacious relationship battles the same as (SOME) black-women, the reason I say “SOME BLACK-WOMEN” is because there are dirty doggish mentally ill black-women in our black communities who hurt and break down good black-men. The issues are on both sides of the fence, I know it from first hand because I know how to listen and not get involved.

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