Research Supports What Women Have Suspected: Men Threatened By Successful Women

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By: Krystle Crossman

Women these days are becoming more and more successful in the workforce and running their own businesses. Often times they are more successful than their significant others. While this may be good for the women, it is creating some negativity and hostility with the men in their lives. New studies have shown that while men may not express their feelings, they are left feeling insecure and hostile because their partner is more successful than they are.

This negative attitude happens in many relationships. Sometimes the two aren’t even in a related field with their careers, but there is still that old societal stereotype that the man should be the breadwinner and should have a better job as opposed to the woman. This is also causing some negativity due to the saying “a woman behind every successful man” but the saying “a man behind every successful woman” does not exist. When women become successful often times it is seen as the woman being independent and driven, climbing to the top by herself with no help from anyone else.

Researchers from the University of Virginia asked male participants a series of questions and gauged their responses. They used both verbal and non-verbal responses. Most of the men were upset when their partner were more successful because they had a fear that their significant other would leave them as they were left feeling inadequate. The women on the other hand felt that they had more positive prospects in the relationship if they were successful.

The study also showed that men’s self-esteem took a huge hit. They felt a loss of self-esteem when their partner was successful in their careers and also when they did well in certain social situations. The women however were unaffected by these two outcomes when the roles were reversed.

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47 Comments

  1. I’ve never been intimidated by a woman I am a HS dropout and married and divorce 2 women very highly educated ladies. It seem they were more committed to themselves and not our goals.

    Secondly I seem to feel this power surge from women who now hold that man mental fused cursed of being less a completive stigma about men holding them back. Well I am not at the top of the cooperate ladder so why should I be the whipping tree. Until you grow comfortable in your skin and the job you have nothing to fear except you own failure being a leader

    • Ron R.
      Your too funny! I’m not at the top of the corp ladder either and I’ve only been married once at least that’s what I thought. Many of these articles have nothing to do with us at all. We’re just caught up in the generation-gap LMBO! We’re in a new day where babies drinking SIMILAC are the ones running the country now LMBO!!

      • latterdayprincess on

        SIMILAC….Too true! And it’s getting worse. Many holding power & authority have ADHD, are on some dangerous [prescription] drugs, are not NECESSARILY the best person(s)for the job but the drugs are making them (& those prescribing) make them THINK so. Others are lacking in true leadership skills, and more and more people are hostile, rude, and short-tempered in the performance of their jobs and when rendering customer service. Considering that the fastest growing sector of the workforce has been in the service industry, this does not bode well. What, besides SIMILAC, could be the cause of this break-down in communication sense of purpose?

        • Latterdayprincess…

          OMG!!! You got me busting up!!! LMBO I just can’t stop laughing at this post!!! What a breath of fresh-air… These similac-babies are taking us for a bunch of old-fools and I’m only 53 yrs young… They get on my last nerve sometimes, so I gotta laugh BS off all the fr*cken time and always keep a sense of humor under my belt so I won’t start chopping off heads and they all start rolling down the d*mn street…

  2. America Is Out Of Control…
    America is a scary place, its an unhealthy place to find a healthy relationship, get married and build a family period. I’m a proud black-woman yet I don’t wanna see my daughters married to African American men nor my sons married to African American women, seems like I’m gonna get my wish too.
    Now all I have to do is take my seed and leave this country like Lincoln told us to do centuries ago.

    • It must’ve been a pretty confusing experience growning up in your house with all that hostility and contempt towards other black people. I guess I’ll never know why one would want to pit their children against their own people. You’ll never hear a white woman say ‘I never want to see my son marry a white woman or my daughter marry a white man.’ Leaving the country may be the best solution for you. That way you nor your offspring will have a chance to taint other minds with your brand of self-hate.

      Sometimes I think some of us are too far gone to get our sanity back.

      • Sorry Unk!
        There’s totally no hostility or contempt, nor confusion in my home, only experiences from living life and being black in America. I didn’t shape the images in my childrens heads concerning our people… our African American community did it for us… So don’t start acting like your b*tt is clueless and blind to what I’m articulating… Your eyes are wide open “I THINK”, unless your a blackman in denial or your just looking to bash because maybe your heart and your household (mind and temple) really is full of (HOSTILITY and CONTEMPT), you brought it up so I must have hit a nerve huh!!!

        • No Redbone, the only nerve you hit with me was when you suggested that a black man or a black woman isn’t good enough for your (black) children to marry. Sorry, I can’t (and don’t want to) wrap my brain around the idea that the slavemaster’s children are a better fit for my children knowing the hate and vitriol white society (still) carries for black people. What of substance could a white man offer my daughter that the right black man can’t aside from white skin? How can I rationally conclude that whites are better suited for my babies knowing the laziness, lack of vision, the poor work ethic and worst of all the bitterness and hatred toward black people that exists in the white community today. Why would I willfully surrender my child to that madness? Maybe you’re the one that’s blind to believe in the santity of white folks. There have always been struggles in the black community. But I see plenty of good black men in college and working that I would jump over 10 white boys for my daughter to marry. Unlike you, I refuse to surrender to the idea that the black community isn’t producing any good people. That’s a lie rooted in white supremacy. Too bad you (and your children) chose to believe it.

          • Unk…
            Who told you my children’s preference was WHITE? I didn’t say that!!! Don’t be putting words in my mouth brother… Redbone has no problem speaking for herself.. There are many other cultures out there who are people of color, and I’m not your whoopin tree MISTERRRRRR…

          • I understand. Anybody but a black man for your daughter and anybody but a black woman for your son. Got it.

          • Unk!!

            No you don’t understand cause your booty is in a box and you don’t know me Adam from Steve my brother, you don’t even know where I come from or where I’ve been period… FACTUAL…wink!!! Like I said: I’m not yo whoopin bush Boo! LMBO!!!!

          • Unk…

            If you actually took the time to sit and LISTEN to my children with an open-mind you’d be suprised. Do you even listen to your own children? or do you just dictate black-history and continue raising the dead over and over again… and don’t get me twisted and mis-read either because I do believe in my black history…okay / wink!!! and I have a black-male child coming out of prison… and he didn’t end up there for selling drugs, domestic abuse, rape, or gang banging… He was homeless trying to stand-up on his own 2 feet as a black-man. He was married to a white-girl against my wishes and I have a bi-racial grand baby that I never see, but it doesn’t cause me to lose one night of sleep, because disobedience is disobedience plain and simple… *America is my BEEF

          • Redbone, I don’t have any problem at all sitting down and talking to your children. And we both know that you can’t help who you fall in love with, much less your children. I was just disturbed by your suggestion that you were happy that neither one of your children will marry within their race. That tells me that there must have been some type of rejection or at least some distancing from the black experience in your home which is likely due to some animosity towards blacks they may have felt coming from you. But I honestly have no clue as to how you ran your household, so I digress. Just understand that some of us may get offended at the notion that someone black is not good enough for your children. That usually means that you prefer someone white which affirms a white supremist ideology and opens a whole new can of worms and gets us further down this rabbithole.

            BTW, I’m sorry to hear what happened to your son. May he find peace and contentment even if it is with a white girl.

          • Unk…
            Thank you Unk, its only to be understood. I didn’t raise my children under color-line restrictions, I didn’t allow that division in my household, I taught the love of God for all humanity, but I also taught my sons more-so then my daughters about what its like being a black-man rejected in a white society where your skin-color is counted against you from the day of your birth… this is why I want my seed to leave AMERICA… When my sons started dating african american females is when all the drama started and (THEY) made the decision not to get involved with black-women. I’m a proud black woman, but I be d*nm if black on black relationships are not on SKID-ROW in America… and if you are a righteous honest black-man you know exactly where I’m coming from… I want happy respectful honest fruitful relationships and marriages for all 4 of my children / aka: sitting at my dinner table. I want happy grand-babies, not babies from broken homes.
            Americans of all cultures are NOLONGER (FAMILY ORIENTATED) at all… I believe in spiritually wholesome and wellrounded atmosphere and I’ll be d*nm if Redbone except anything less then what she asked her God for… I’m a true believer in the faith and I don’t do religion…wink!

          • Unk…

            Let me share something with you.. That white-girl my son was married to set her stupid clueless ignorant pregnant dirty white-azz up in my living room and told me that she would dis-appear with my grand-baby and my family would never see the baby a day in life…

            I told that white funky-azz heffa-cat: (Bytch let me show you how a real black-women work-it): You will never use that baby to manipulate me or anybody in my family, not even my son, because he was not suppose to marry yo white-azz in the d*mn first place / now get the f*k out of my house right now. Haven’t seen the heffa-cat since that day, but I did see the baby, he looks exactly like my son, if my son goes anywhere near his baby he will go to jail or be killed because her Uncles are on the POLICE FORCE… So Identity crisis my donkey! Yeah right! Plezzz

          • It’s horrible what she’s doing, Redbone. I just hope that down the road you will be able to repair the damage. But to me it seems as if your son is having just as much drama with the white girl as you said he was having with black women. Isn’t it ironic that he completely swore himself off black girls and walked right into the arms of a white girl that’s giving him just as much hell as the black girls? Not only that, but now he has to deal with his redneck inlaws. When Chinese women get their hearts broken by Chinese men, you don’t hear them say I’ll never date another Chinese man again. It’s sad that black people are the only ones that do that. I can totally accept being open-minded, but in reality your son is the one that closed his mind off to the possibility of being with a black women when he’s black himself! There’s a certain pathology in that way of thinking. But I still wish him the best in life’s journey.

          • Unk…
            My son is nolonger married to that girl for years now. He’s been in prison for over 8 yrs under the Calif 3 strike-law. He doesn’t even know where his son is. We know what state he’s in but I don’t want my son anywhere near that little boy, he’s almost 10 yrs old. I want my son alive…
            Unk I live around Africans and Ethieopians, serpians, all different types of foreigners. I staff a foreigner… I listen to them communicate with each other, and they all hate white-america, and racist white people. But I totally enjoy their healthy family orientated nature. When I watch the men doing the family-thing with their wives and children it makes me really sad because African Americans are so far from it these days.
            These men don’t hangout at the bars and grills and the liquor stores, they hangout at the coffee houses and they don’t gawk at women walking by.. They honor their wives and visa versa… The police don’t even stalk this neighborhood, but they stalk the neighbor-hoods on the otherside of town where 98% african americans live in nice communities…
            I was not raised in a broken-home. My father was an Elder /Assist Pastor in the COGIC church and my mother was a Top-Notch teacher / educator who believed in teaching our black children to READ..

          • Unk…
            I communicate with a lot of blackmen behind bars, you’d be suprise the number of blackmen who are angry with black-women and don’t want to be in relationships with them, especially on the west-coast, its the going thing out here when it comes to the brothers. It is what it is… I see strong intelligent good black-women get dogged down by black-men 24-7… My oldest daughter is 35, carmel complexion, no children, educated with a degree, no babies and never been married… not because she doesn’t want to be. You read between the lines, my youngest daughter like skin like myself, never been married, no babies, 29 yrs old, the same thing, and I have beautiful children, respectable, independent and tired of all the BS in our black communities. My youngest son is a Sargeant in the military… My children all have the same father / drug addict / alcoholic… I’ve been divorced and single for 20 yrs and celibate for almost 12yrs.. My head is on straight my brother, I just know what I want and I won’t settle for less.. and I’m content with my life style and I prefer black-men, but that’s not the way our society is fulfilling itself these days. I want out of America period. I just wanna wake-up one day where I don’t have to feel like I’m being swallowed up because I have black-skin and watching our children being killed off and nobody cares… Now do you feel me? My seed deserves a chance at life…

          • I understand Redbone. And I do understand the type of hopelessness you descibe when talking about the black men in prison. If they feel they were wronged by black women, I can sympathize with them to a certain degree. But we really have to get out of the mindset that one woman (or man) defines a whole race of people. Goodness knows my struggles with black women. Some black women have turned hurting black men into a sport. But (knock on wood) I’ve never made a conscience decision to not date black women. Black women are my preference and I would be doing myself a huge disservice if I cut myself off from them.

            It seems as if your son, the guys in prison, and many black people in general decide to date interacially out of spite. They somehow want to prove that it’s not them, but it’s black men (or black women) that’s the problem so they exalt their relationships with whites to a fairy tale status that’s far removed from reality. The truth is no white person will be your savior. They are human with issues just like any black person. And although we will definitely be better off not living under the American society and it’s embrace of a white dominant social structure, I just don’t know if leaving is a viable option for most of us, even though it would be a better option. With that said, we may have to figure out how to get along with one another while we are here or our self-hatred will cause us to become extinct.

            Too bad your daughters are in California and I’m in Texas. They seem like lovely ladies. I may be one black man they like.

          • Unk…

            and you just might be right about that, but its bad out here forreal and I’m tired of watching my children suffer period. I lived in Texas for 60 days only LMBO!!! I have family all over Tx, but that’s not where I wanna live. I love atlanta, but I don’t wanna live there either. My youngest daughter is heading to Dallas in Jan for her final interview to become an airline steward I’m so happy for her and she wants to travel abroad and my youngset son just came back tour of duty from Korea and said he wants to go to Germany and doesn’t want to come back to the states to live. He’s carmel skin complex and gets dogged out by his own brothers in the military forreal and its really sad too, my oldest daug has travel just about all over the world it feels like. I just wanna get my oldest son on his way, and especially out of the (system) of the USA so he can have a life.

          • Unk…

            Its not that many brothers like you walking around these days, believe it and I feel like the state of Tx has more spiritually rooted and grounded black-men then any other state in the US due to TD Jakes and Hillard, other then that its an understatement. *Redbone is standing her ground to get the hell out of dodge / ain’t no confusion in that…

            Your Quote:
            Goodness knows my struggles with black women. Some black women have turned hurting black men into a sport. But (knock on wood) I’ve never made a conscience decision to not date black women. Black women are my preference and I would be doing myself a huge disservice if I cut myself off from them.

          • Unk…

            The baby has red-hair and freckles just like me and my son, looks more african american then he does white and the white-girls family are extremely racist, so can you just imagine what that little boy is going through right now? But I gotta keep moving because life goes on and everything good works out for the good of those who are called according to his will and purpose / what the devil meant for harm God work it out for his GOOD… Maybe that baby will teach their evil racist-donkeys something good from the Lord because every seed I gave birth to is ordained anointed and appointed. Lost and confused Redbone is NOT.. and for Misterrr (Truth Teller)… *Do your research: there is a redbone african tribe in the african continent…LMBO!!!!

          • I don’t really consider myself militant. It’s just heartbreaking to see black people reject other black people simply for being black.

          • Let me know if your daughter needs a tour-guide in Dallas. Funny how you can’t live in Texas while as much as I love visiting California, I would never want to live there. Atlanta is cool but I wouldn’t want to live there either. I bet your daughter is interviewing with either American or Southwest. I hope she gets the job. It’s a great way to see new places.

          • Vegas is poppin again like it use to back in the days with all the oldschool R&B blues entertainers and just raw talent poppin up everywhere… Barry Gordys youngest daughter has an open Mic talent show here in Vegas every Thursday night… they have talent shows all over town and there’s absolutely no rappers anywhere…. I’m loving it right down to the bone… Good entertainment is on its way back yeahhhhhhh….wink!

          • I haven’t been in about 3 years but I’m itching to get back. For a while I was going 2 or 3 times a year. But I’ll be back in 2014. It’s good to hear that the city is recovering well from a few years ago.

          • The fellowship with all the many different entertainers is absolutely off the chain and the spirit of God is electrified in the audience.
            Oldschool R&B blues etc is back in the game and the vulgar Rap industry is on its way-out… I’m so excited I don’t know what to do. I’m partying with entertainers we use to pay MU-Lah and set high-up in the sports arena just to enjoy their music. I’m talking about the (Stone city band / LTD / Lakeside / whispers / Next Movement /In Demand / Marvelettes / its endless / down home blues… I can’t name them all…LMBO
            Black folks coming out of the wood-works singing their azzes off every thurs night (OPEN MIC) open to anybody who want to hit the stage and pop-off… all over the city of Las Vegas… My brother its a blessing to see and its a GREAT MOVE OF GOD..wink!!! God is claiming all his stuff back from the devil… The Rules are no profanity and disrepect etc… I love it…
            Remember (Rico Suave) the singing dancing Puerto Rican guy… the brother is back in full force doing it again, but they all love the Lord and have no shame in saying it…

  3. I say HOORAAY for the women whom are able to be the best they can be.(and really get paid) It doesn’t make sense today for any family member to be a threat to the other as insecure as the current job market is now. Here today gone tomorrow. Drive On Ladies!!

    • Thank You Antonio…
      I have a host of aunts and female friends who are all African American women who are very very successful women, have their own businesses etc, and myself… Why should we not feel good about our selves, and why should we not live our lives to the fulliest. High-selfesteem is a good thing, and living high & flying off endorfins is even better.
      When a blackwoman is feeling good about herself and her accomplishments because she has struggled so hard to get what is rightfully hers and she has not sold drugs, not prosituted her body, not used some man for his money, why shouldn’t she be able to celebrate life.. People with high endorfins flying constantly literally don’t sit around thinking about negative BS concerning who makes the most money in the relationship. Men who allow that to happen miss out on the blessings. The word of God says: the man that findeth a wife, findeth a good-thing, so he shall have favor with God. Nothing else can be said, except he’s got the head problem…

  4. I don’t think men are so much threatened by successful women as much as men don’t want to put up with the societal backlash that comes with it. When your woman is more successful than you, it doesn’t matter how happy you are in your career or how happy you are in your life at home or what you bring to the table, people will always look at that man as a slacker. They will always assume he is living off of her success and most men aren’t equipped to deal with that negative image people paint of them.

    I can think of a few popular cases to support my theory. Look at Oprah and Stedman. Stedman Graham is an accomplished businessman in his own right. He would be successful in most people’s eyes, but put him next to Oprah and people see him as an opportunist. Any RHOA fans? Todd is a Production Engineer that’s successful and working, yet the mother thinks he’s a bum that only wants the house and Kandi’s money. Remember Whitney and Bobby? Bobby Brown was a multi-platinum selling artist. But next to Whitney Houston he was small potatoes. People thought he was a hustler and a huge step down for her and that (along with cocaine) negatively affected their marriage.

    I could go on but you get the point. If we left couples where the woman was more successful alone, they may turn our alright. But when you add other peoples opinions and voices in the mix, it has a definite negative impact on their relationship.

  5. I read the headliner and felt it’s all wrong! My reason for disagreement is; you haven’t interviewed the right people for this article. Any man that feels threaten because his girlfriend or wife may be more educated or have a higher paying job than he, then he may well be emotionally inept, short on brain power, not thinking with a full deck or whatever.
    I know a host of men whose counter part are doing better in the work force and they do not have a problem with it at all! So, tell us and don’t lie! Where are you siphoning your bottom fed information from? Off the corner near Dave’s liquors?

  6. If anyone is concerned with the notion of what others may think of them, then it’s that individual who has a serious image problem. What society thinks of me is really none of my business. No one is responsible for me except me, that’s it and that all! If any man thinks he personally, is a slacker then maybe he is. If that man’s woman thinks he’s a slacker then he might be or he just might have the wrong person in his life!
    Being equally yoked is the real deal. Supporting each other and keep your faces out of the television and ridiculous garbage.

  7. I don’t believe this study is accurate for a lot of reasons. One is the fact that as far as the Black community goes, employers routinely hire Black females for the job before hiring Black males who have the same or superior credentials.

    Moreover, many Black females suddenly believe that this new position of making more money than the spouse entitles her to become “head-of-household,” and she makes the relationship an impossible one to cope with.

    Example: Does anyone out there believe that Oprah Winfrey would accept not being the “head-of-household?”

    • Your right Smith…
      But not all African American women think and act like that… Spiritual whole and well-rounded blackwomen don’t act like that at all. Do you know how I know that? Because I’m one of them and I know for a fact I’m not the only that exsist in our black community…
      When I’m blessed I’m all excited, because that means my man is blessed too, and redbone can’t wait to run-home jump in her mans lap, kiss him all over his face and say: baby look what we got today!!! Baby lets go out and celebrate, and gimme some of that good-lovin…wink!!!

  8. To Redbone,

    Don’t try & retract what you said while you “LMBO”. Skining & grinning was a favorite tactit of slaves trying to deal with their masters. Your name suggests that you want to be seen as something other than Black, which might provide some clarity on your stated children marriage preference. For “Redbone” & the rest of you suffering from some type of Black identity crisis, let me provide some theraphy (free) to help you with your problem. You can all come south, I will plant five acres of cotton & put you right in the middle with “Duck Dynasty’s Rev Phil” & he can hellp you “find yourselves” as you work across the field singing,”jump down, turn around, pick a bale of cotton”, or maybe a few verses of “Dixie”, then you can really “LMBO”, what ever that means.

    • Truth-In-Denial…

      Already lived in the damn-dirty-south of Arkansas for 3 1/2 yrs too damn long where me and 2 of my children were rejected because of our light-skin. I was raised to be a proud black women my brother, so don’t be throwing no damn IDENTITY CRISIS COTTON-BARREL b*llshyt over here, and redbone ain’t retracting one damn thing MISTERRRRR… My daddy is from Arkansas and my mother is from TX. My mother is light-skin and my daddy is dark-brown. My parents didn’t raise me and my brothers and sisters under racisim… Now I’m LMBO at yo black donkey BOO BOO…wink!! Its Boo Boo’s like you who draw the color-lines between our people, and its down-right sickening to the d*nm core, because yall donkey’s are all caught-up into some d*mn time-warp that just kills off the whole d*mn human race. I don’t even watch no d*nm DUCK DYNASTY, never seen it… so talk that weak-link bullshyt to somebody else.
      Redbone is going to be Redbone = freespirited with her own mind & spirit. No man controls and dictates my life or my children but God himself.
      My brother yo duck-butt is the one stuck…

  9. REAL TALK – Why are we always falling for bullsheit and why are black men and women always letting the media and these dumb azz black blogs pit us against each other? And WHY are SOME black women so dayum giddy over this mess? As a young black woman this sheit is offensive to me. Ill use myself and my fiancee’ as examples. Im 25, hes nine years older. When when we met I had just turned 19. He’d already graduated HS, had served this country for five years, had a good job as a motorman with the MTA (Metropolitan Transit Authority) making good money and good benefits, got a VA loan and bought a home. At 19 I was completing my 2nd year of college, working part time in a hair salon as a receptionist/clean up girl and still living with my parents. Graduated @ 21 and got a job at a property mgt co. as a benefits admistrator. Purchased my first home a few months after my 24th birthday. Lets move to today. My hubby to be is now a train dispatcher with the MTA. He earns MORE money than I do. So if we’re going by this stupid article, am I “more successful” because I have a degree? Is he “less successful” because he doesnt have a degree? We’re two adults both working, earning a living, and planning for our future. No more and no less. A BIG part of the reason for the divide between black men and black women is we keep listening to dumb sheit. Dont listen to dumb sheit.

    • LMBO!!!

      So Tania Dow is really Devon… Girl you are something else…Too funny!!! LMBO / and I thought Redbone was out there, but you take the cake, and that’s okay because I believe in keeping it 100% too, there just the age difference I’m 53 yrs young and proud of it…

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