I used to watch The View very regularly and I can remember when Sherri Shepherd reported that she was leaving her first husband, who is also the father of her one and only child, her son Jeffrey. Now, sadly, the talk show co-host’s second marriage appears to also have failed.
According to TMZ, her husband, Lamar Sally, has filed for divorce after only three short years of marriage. The court filing is reported to have been done on May 2nd.
Here are a few reasons why, while I am saddened by this news, I am not entirely surprised by it:
1. Timing – Sherri and her first husband (of nine years) went their separate ways in 2009 and by 2011 she had already met, dated and married her second husband. In between relationships, we generally need time to heal and process what happened. Of course there is no clear cut number of months or years that anyone is supposed to take but it seems that maybe Sherri could have used more time.
2. Probability – There is no denying that when a couple decides to get married today, the probability of the marriage lasting forever is lower than it was in past generations. The probability of a second marriage working is even lower than that of a first marriage.
Mark Banschick, M.D., a psychiatrist and author of The Intelligent Divorce book, writing for Psychology Today says,
“Past statistics have shown that in the U.S. 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce. What are the reasons for this progressive increase in divorce rates? Theories abound. One common explanation is that a significant number of people enter a second or marriage ‘on the rebound’ of a first or second divorce.”
3. Fame – Sherri Shepherd has had what I perceive as a pretty successful career and I would go so far as to call her famous. Unfortunately, many relationships that famous people enter, including marriage, tend to fall apart soon after. In fact, it could be said that a lot of people do not expect famous people who get married to stay married and unfortunately, many of them don’t. Some call it the “Hollywood curse”.
4. Female breadwinner – I can not say for certain that this was an issue for Shepherd and Sally but I will say that, while relationships where the woman is the breadwinner are becoming more common, we can not assume they will necessarily work. Shepherd was obviously more famous than Sally; in fact, until the couple announced their engagement, I had never heard of him. Then, being an actress, author, comedienne and a host of multiple shows, we can safely assume that Shepherd was the primary bread winner. Unfortunately, while we may want to believe that “times have changed”, many women will often come to the sobering realization that they have in fact not changed as much as many people think. There are men who can handle being with a woman who out-earns them, btu then again, there are those who can’t and maybe Sally was one who couldn’t. For the sake of fairness, I might also add that there are also women who can’t handle being the primary breadwinner and maybe Shepherd was one of them.
It’s not clear why Shepherd and Sally are going their separate ways as neither of them or their publicists have released a statement, but as with all divorces where famous people are involved, it will unfortunately, most likely be revealed.
Here is the discussion in Nomalanga’s words in the video below:
Nomalanga helps Black women thrive in their lives and careers. She is a Social Commentator, an Editor at Your Black World , a former College Professor and Mrs Botswana. Visit Nomalanga’s Facebook page or Follow her on Twitter