Signs That You Aren’t Being the Real You With Your Partner and How to Fix It

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By: Serena Crawford

Communication is key to a good relationship. The problem is that many people find that they can’t truly communicate what they are feeling to their partner and so they end up not being real with them. There are ways to fix certain communication issues that will allow you to open up to your partner and make sure that you are giving them your feelings the way that you are feeling them.

1. Jealousy & Trust – There are so many relationships that are filled with jealousy and mistrust. Most of these are due to someone being hurt in a past relationship and they now have trouble dealing with their feelings appropriately. If you find yourself having these trust issues you need to sit back and think about your current relationship. Do not compare it to past relationships because they are not the person you dated before. Think about all of the things that your new partner does that instills trust in you and lets you know that there is nothing to be jealous about. Talk with them about these feelings and explain to them about your past relationship and why you have these feelings. If you do not talk about it the distance between you will grow and could ultimately end the relationship.

2. Conflict – Are you someone that avoids conflict whenever possible? This is something that needs to be addressed. There is always going to be conflict in a relationship. If you feel an argument coming on you cannot change the subject or give in every single time. You will lose a lot of yourself this way and you will never be able to have your voice heard. Learn to face the conflict head on in a calm and rational manner.

3. Blame & Criticism – If you find that you blame others for things that you really want to blame yourself for or if you criticize them for things that you would criticize yourself for you are avoiding a deeper issue that probably stemmed from your childhood. When you were a child and constantly told that you weren’t good enough it did something to your psyche. As you grow older you constantly beat yourself up for wanting to do things differently but end up projecting that criticism onto other people. Learn to love who you are and allow yourself to be the real you instead of the person that you think you have to be.

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