When you think about a newlywed couple, you assume that they are in the honeymoon phase where leaving the bedroom is an option that is rarely utilized for a while. But there are some couples that even though they are still in the first year of marriage find themselves having a dry spell. This can lead to one or the other, or even both, partners feeling like they have done something wrong or there is something wrong with them. One woman sent her story in to Abiola Abrams to try and get some help.
The woman who wrote the letter stated that her and her husband had only been married seven months, but it felt like longer because the intimacy had already died. She said that he was stressed about their finances and would go weeks, and sometimes months without touching her. She knows he is not cheating, but can’t help but feel alone and as though her husband doesn’t find her attractive anymore.
Abiola gives the young woman these pointers:
1. Don’t blame yourself. The need to feel like they are the provider is something that all men possess and if they feel like they are not living up to be a great provider, it can kill their self-esteem and libid0 at the same time. Make sure that you reassure your hubby that his paycheck is not his most important quality.
2. Try new ways of seduc!ng your husband. Ask him what some of his fantasies and desires are.
3. Create a safe environment for his emotions. Communicate, listen, and avoid criticizing.
4. Take date night seriously. Schedule time that both of you can spend together whether it’s going out somewhere or just staying in with a movie.
5. Don’t try to solve everything. This can lead him to think that he isn’t needed as the masculine role in the relationship has already been cast.
6. Keep a positive attitude.
7. Take care of yourself. Your husband wouldn’t want you falling apart.