The One Thing All Women Should Stop Doing; It Destroys Our Self Esteem


?????????????By: Krystle Crossman

Women have this annoying little habit of bringing themselves down even when they have nothing to put themselves down for. This habit is comparing themselves to other people. This is one of the most damaging things that you can do to yourself and your self-esteem because you are trying to live up to someone else. Here are three reasons that you need to stop comparing yourself to others.

1. You can’t accomplish your goals if you are always comparing them to other people’s accomplishments. You are your own person and have different skills than others so do not look at what they have done and try to mirror that. Think about your goals and how you can apply your own skills to reach those goals. If you try and mirror someone else you could end up frustrated and disappointed because you are two different people.

2. Your sense of self is put in jeopardy. When you look at other people and compare your life with theirs, you often look at the people that you feel have a “better” life than you. This can be very damaging to your sense of self because you are making yourself feel like you are less of a person and have done less in your life than this other person. For example, when you try and compare yourself to a celebrity, obviously there are some very big differences that can leave you feeling inadequate. Even when comparing yourself to a coworker who is in a higher position than you it can end up taking your self-esteem down a few notches.

3. Most of the time you are comparing yourself to someone who isn’t always what they appear. When you look in a magazine and compare your body to the model in the ads, you are using false information to compare with. The model has make-up, perfect lighting, and most importantly for them, retouching. It is a fantasy that you are looking at. Instead, focus on yourself and reality.



  1. Yep, I agree totally. I had a long talk with my own wife years ago about this when I noticed her doing that. I want to ad something to this article.

    People that wish they had what someone else has or had often don’t think of the fact that when you want to be a mirror image of someone you are wishing the bad things they have on yourself as well as the good things. Lets take use some examples. As a man, one person that seems to have it going on is Nelly. Now if I were to wish I were Nelly…My sister would be dead right now. I don’t think I’d exchange his life for mine even with the fame. Look at Micheal Jordan. He’s 6’6 and the probably the greatest basketball player ever….but his Father was murdered on the side of the road. My father is still with me. Being Micheal Jordan would have had my father gone a long time ago. For you ladies…many of you wished you looked like Halle Berry especially the darker beautiful sisters because it’s seen by many as better. That woman has a bad taste for men and obviously can’t keep one at home for any length of time. You women that have been married for 10 and 15 years. Would you change that for all of Halle’s flaws that come with her good looks? I can tell you this….I wouldn’t trade my wife for her or any other woman. My advice is to use what God gave you. I’m 5’9 and light skin. If I weren’t married now…I wouldn’t be high on many women’s lists. They want tall dark men, but I see it as a blessing that I am who I am. I would never wish to be someone else. You again get all the problems that come with being them. The names I mentioned were off the top of my head. There is long list of famous people we could wish to be like. Another is Bill Cosby…the man is rich, but he also has a child out of wedlock. As the article mentioned. Everything is not as it always seems. Ladies stop comparing yourself. Men hate that. They want women that are confident.

    • Nah…that’s natural…women as well as men are going to do that. I think that only needs to stop when you have a wife or husband. At that point you need to take care of the one you are with and not waste time with that. It’s nonsense at that point.

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