The Spark You Had With Your Man is Gone; Now What?

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062612-health-hiv-day-black-couple-holding-hands-marriageBy: Krystle Crossman

Does it seem at times that the spark is gone from your relationship? Do you feel like he is no longer attracted to you for some reason? Everyone feels this way at one point or another during their relationship. We all eventually feel like those butterflies in our stomach that used to flutter are no longer flapping their wings. What do you do when your relationship gets to this point?

If you choose your partner solely on your physical attraction to them, you may be in for disappointment down the line. When the physical attraction fades, is there still going to be an emotional connection if there ever was one to begin with? Often when the attraction fades, people will go searching on the internet for answers and all they will get is advice telling them that it is time to find someone new. Instead, try taking this approach.

1. Redefine what attraction means to you. Don’t look to Hollywood to tell you what is physically or emotionally attractive. Look at yourself and be honest about what traits and characteristics you find to be the hottest. Is it the way he makes you laugh, or the way he does little things here and there for you? Think about attraction in terms of personality and emotions. Don’t base it on looks.

2. You need to take care of yourself. As RuPaul always states, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the he11 are you gonna love somebody else?” If you don’t feel connected with your own feelings, how can you connect with another person’s or know what you want in life?

3. Focus on the things that you appreciate about the one you love. Think about the things that they do for you; the little compliments that they pay you through the day, or the way that they look into your eyes. When you begin to go over all of the things that attracted you to them in the first place, you will begin to rekindle those butterflies.

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2 Comments

  1. I’M LOVED,BEEN LOVED??? TO SAY THIS, YOU NEVER REALLY KNOW!BUT WHEN IT’S OVER IT’S OVER,LIFE GOES ON,TAKING CARE OF YOUR,CHILDREN,PAYING YOUR BILLS,ONE DAY YOU’LL REALIZE MAYBE IT WAS FOR THE BEST;BE HAPPY AND GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE;IT’S NOT ALWAYS WHAT YOU WANT IT’S WHAT YOU NEED;BEEN THERE!

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