Tough Love Tips To Kick Your Buttt So You “Act Right” in 2014


tough loveBy Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses

A new year is a chance for everyone to start afresh and make their life better. Unfortunately for many people, they carry all their whining, complaining and excuses right into the new year and nothing changes for the better. Below are a some tough love tips  to make sure you don’t mess up 2014 the way you did 2013.

1. Stop saying “maybe” or “I’ll try” when referring to your goals. Either you are going to do it or you’re not; not maybe and no trying!

2. Stop saying “I’m big boned” or “I have a thyroid issue”. You’re fat; that’s not a crime but the longer you keep making excuses, the longer you will be fat and that is detrimental to your health and wellness.

3. Go for more walks, jogs or runs. This is especially true if you’ve been telling yourself “I have a thyroid issue” to excuse being overweight. If you don’t like running, walking or jogging, find something that you do like, like dancing, playing a sport or swimming. The bottom line is that when you get moving, you feel good and you look good.

4. Drink more water. Seriously, how hard is it to buy a 2 liter bottle, fill it up every morning and take sips all day until it is finished?

5. Stop complaining. Complaining is a form of negative thinking. Many things happen in life and complaining too much generally means you are more committed to focusing on the negative rather than the positive. Stop it. That’s probably why no one likes you.

6. Stop gossiping and spreading rumors. Again, this is probably why no one likes you! Only pathetic people who have nothing going on in their dull and boring lives need to spread gossip and rumors about other people. Stop it.

7.  Read more. Many of the dumb things that people say and do are a result of their ignorance. No one can ever claim to know everything. There is always room to learn more. Please stop embarrassing yourself by saying and doing dumb stuff. Rather, pick up a book and READ!

Have an awesome 2014!

Nomalanga helps Black women thrive in their lives and careers. She is a Social Commentator, an Editor at Your Black World , a former College Professor and Mrs. Botswana. Visit Nomalanga’s Facebook page or Follow her on Twitter



  1. Being a lifelong bibliophile, I love #7. Too many Black folks don’t read things that educate, update, or uplift them — and it shows in their conversation!

  2. Judging by that picture of the “commentator” she needs to take her own advice about the fat. Looks like its way overdue.

  3. I’m down with most of what she listed, but I’d be a little leery of #5: Certain things need complaining. You don’t want to sound like some of those insensitive white folks who used to label our concerns as black people whining. Some of us sound like we’ve adapted that mindset on one another.

    I’d also be leery of #7: Some of what you read out here can mess your mind up if you’re not careful. I’d be a little wary in that area if I were exploring something deep that I wasn’t too familiar with.

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