Healthy Mind?: Bride Goes Off on Her Guest for Giving a Cheap Wedding Gift

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By Staff Blogger

A guest that recently attended an ungrateful bride’s wedding has told the media about a Facebook message that was sent to her by a friend that w

as ungrateful for the monetary gift that she gave. The woman, Tanya, released the message sent from the bride, Talya, in its entirety to show just how rude it was.

 

Talya sent a message stating, “Hi Tanya, how are you? I just want to know is there any reason or dissatisfaction of Mike’s and I wedding that both you and Phil gave 50$ each? 

In terms of the amount we got from you both was very unexpected as a result we were very much short on paying off the reception because just for the cocktail + reception alone the plate per person is 200$ (as per a normal wedding range with open bar is about) and Mike and I both have already paid for everything else including decor, photography, attire etc and didn’t expect we had to cover that huge amount for reception as well. 

As I know you both live together and work, so I did not see any reason for that amount, when it comes to your wedding hopefully you’ll know what I mean.

I hope for the best as from what we receive is what we will give back. Anyways, good luck on everything.”

Tanya told the Huffington Post that she has accumulated over $40,000 dollars in debt from student loans and she felt that she and her boyfriend were being generous by giving what they did. I think that Tanya did nothing wrong by giving what she could but the bride was absolutely delusional by expecting her guests to pay for her reception.

It is not the guest’s job to pay for any component of your wedding, unless you have some sort of fund set up where people are donating to your nuptials. What do you think?

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42 Comments

  1. Wow,

    Who would marry a woman like this in the first place. If they wanted to spend and exorbitant amount on their wedding, fine. just don’t expect everyone else to pay for it. Most people know that you never make a profit on your wedding and you almost never break even. Shame on them!!!

  2. Good grief I never head of such a thing. This young lady have the wrong idea about what a wedding is. It is a celebration of your union to someone. If money was a problem why not go to the courthouse for less than $10.00 to get a state seal on a piece of paper.

    Most people spend a large amount of money on a wedding and can not afford it. This is your wedding not your friend. This is the main reason why some people do not go to weddings now because people expect more from them just attending. Get back to the real way of having a wedding and let the family and community enjoy.

  3. Good grief I never head of such a thing. This young lady have the wrong idea about what a wedding is. It is a celebration of your union to someone. If money was a problem why not go to the courthouse for less than $10.00 to get a state seal on a piece of paper.

    Most people spend a large amount of money on a wedding and can not afford it. This is your wedding not your friend. This is the main reason why some people do not go to weddings now because people expect more from them just attending. Get back to the real way of having a wedding and let the family and community enjoy.

  4. Lisa Washington on

    This is the stupidest woman on the globe. Who counts on money from their guests to pay for their reception? What if she had given her a toaster? The so called "friendship" would have been over and that would have been the last communication between me and that dummy. Some ignorance is not worth a response. She was never a friend. Move on.

  5. Is this for real?? I can’t believe that anyone would stoop this low. If this is true than there must be many more emails to other wedding guests because there isn’t anyway that they didn’t get many more unappreciated gifts.
    Just because its on here does that make it true. This story is so hard to believe!!

    Ann from Fayetteville

  6. Wow! Ungrateful,greedy AND uneducated. She’s quite a catch. Good luck to THAT brother.

    And Tanya, take this as your opportunity to detach from this loser.

  7. Derrick Witherspoon on

    $200 a person is a little steep just for the reception. I would be angry if someone gave me a $10 wedding gift if I paid to feed them, but $50 is perfectly acceptable. they really expected people to pay for their entire reception tho? That's just tacky.

  8. Dr. A. E. Vernon, Sr on

    Dear New Bride,
    Reflective upon your quest as per your guest, I find it both logical and psychological to say if this situation is true, we should not take it upon our selves to attach a blame as a further gift to you. Conditioned upon the characterization of the subject matter, it remains incumbent upon me to encourage your wonderful husband to move with “lightening haste” with you to the nearest hospital.I suggested hospital, because an out-patient institution will be inadequate for your mental health. Conversely, as soon as you are better, every one should forget the past and be nice to you. My dear husband, you are a newly wed, please keep heart: Remember your promise/s. “For richer for poorer, in sickness or in health, till death us do part”. My sympathy and I believe many others are at your behest.
    Sadly written,
    Dr. A.E.Vernon, Sr.

  9. Krystlesnana on

    Whoa!! Having a wedding reception based on what monetary gifts you will receive. Who does this? and if her ‘friendship” is based on what she KNOWS her friends will give, sorry! As a friend, she should have known about the expenses of the gift giver; what spot she was putting her in. Oh,well; as a writer stated: supposed they had been given a toaster, towels or something for the house, would she have asked for the receipt to return the items for cash?

    This is a ‘former’ friend, a person I knew in another lifetime. Do not expend energy trying to figure this one out. Move on to more meatier friendships.

  10. marcus davis on

    Not to smart to be $40,000 in debt and then want to get married,maybe her father should have paid for it.

  11. It's not that they shouldn't have gotten married, it's more about they shouldn't have made showing off a priority and thus unable to afford some big celebration. Marriage is a beautiful thing but people get caught up with the pomp and circumstance and the reason for the occasion is often lost.

  12. Rosa Butler on

    She should tell this fool, too give the money back and run like hell from this nut. She doesn’t need a friend like that. What a flake!

  13. Corrie Wynns on

    I think publishing that message was classless! A gift is just that – a gift, not a fund with a minimum amount to give! This bride will reap her ingratitude somewhere in life. Totally bad karma!

  14. Corrie Wynns on

    Addendum: The bride who wrote the not would do well to go back to school for instruction in English Composition.

  15. I must say, I chuckled when I read this, not because it was funny, but because it was so ridiculous…This message is an indicator of how far our society has come as a whole when we become so out of touch with the kindness and care of others and we become so desensitized that we think people owe us;living in an arena of expectancy and feelings of entitlement. We have learned to live above our means and expect others to foot the bill. When I got married my focus was on what really mattered which was the commitment and the covenant that my husband and I were making, not the circus, dog and pony show that too many of us make it, in an effort to try to prove something to people or make ourselves appear to be at a level that we have not obtained yet. We take the focus off the fact that we are standing before God and committing our marriage to Him and our lives to one another.
    Too many individuals spend time and money on the wedding and not enough time on the marriage and they negate to spend the time, prayers and money on the premarital counseling necessary to keep the marriage beyond a year or two. This young lady’s attitude is unfortunate, and it saddens me to know that she rationalized and substantiated this message being sent to someone she called a friend. Although, I understand that she bit off more than she could chew and was reacting out of emotion, most likely fear and anxiety, but where is the personal responsibility for planning an event that she could not afford? We cannot continue to think that everyone else should be responsible for our wants and needs. As my mother used to say, when you do the crime you must do the time, in other words you made the bill and now you must pay it.

  16. Very poor etiquette. The bride and groom should have had a wedding within their budget. And all monies and gifts can go towards their home and savings. The way this couple is starting out financially, they will be having fund raisers just toay for their needs.

  17. Linda Caldwell Epps on

    A gift is just that, a gift. An invitation does not mean an obligation to attend or give a gift. The married couple should have not expected their guests to pay for their wedding. According to the etiquette books, no guest is obligated to give a gift of any amount.

  18. Shani Nicole on

    I'm in shock, I cant believe someone could be so petty, if you cant afford your wedding then try something less expensive.

  19. Linda Merkerson on

    Mmmmm. Champagne tastes, beer budget. How rude!! It was their responsibility to stay within their budget. It has never been the responsibility of invited guests to assist a couple in living above their means. I would be so offended to receive a message like this from a so-called friend.

  20. Two hundred dollars a plate, several drinks should have been included in that package. LOL, they should have paid for the reception anyway, and took whatever gift cards they got and put it on their honeymoon. smh

  21. C.k. Hampton on

    She should be grateful that she or anything PERIOD!! That was HER choice to have this big expensive wedding/reception that she KNEW she couldn't pay for. Most people do this "for show" anyway trying to impress people

  22. Chandra McDaniel-Brown on

    She's just stupid! I would have gone OFF! If you know you can't pay for all that ish stay within your budget. I woulf have asked her to kindly send back what i did give her. Ungrateful wench! The marriage is for the couple the wedding and reception is for everybody else. #ijs

  23. When I had me wedding, I choose the food that would keep my guest happy and satisfied. In my book their presence and prayers is the best gift anyone can give. If you plan your wedding hoping you get what you paid back, you really can't afford it. Stop fronting sweet heart, It looks like you and your new hubby are the broke ones. Dump that ungrateful friend.

  24. Wow, $50.00 each? In my opinion, that was a pretty nice gift. It’s sad that the bride is such an unhappy person that she would even write such a note. I would be divorcing this “friend”.

  25. This woman is clearly devoid of common(?)courtesy. Guess are not responsible for footing your reception expense. Nothing wrong with expensive taste — be able to afford the expensive taste.

  26. William H Leonard on

    First of all if you couldn't afford a $40,000 wedding you shouldn't have expected your guest to pick up the tab. If you wanted each guest to contribute a certain amount like $100.00 each you could very well narrow your list down to 20. If you don't have sense enough to know that you can't afford a $40,000 wedding you should have gone to the court house got married and put that $40,000 on a place to stay. You were trying to impress your friends. I would like to know how long this marriage will last. You should take a money management class.

  27. Katie Rosella on

    How ignorantly disrespectul was that?! You honestly expected your guests to pay for your reception? Talk about tacky and tactless. She doesn't even deserve the change her guests were able to give her. #disgusted

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