What Every Woman Should Ask Herself Before She Becomes a “Side Piece”


By: Krystle Crossman

If you are in a relationship with a man who is married or is in a committed relationship, you are considered a mistress. Before you get in too deep with this man, there are four questions that you should be asking yourself.

1. What are you looking for in a relationship? Do you want someone that you can bring home to your parents? Are you looking for someone that is in it for the long haul? Are you okay with sleeping with him and nothing else? If you are looking for a long-term relationship you are not looking in the right direction. If he is willing to cheat on his current partner, what makes you special enough that he won’t do it to you if he actually left her?

2. What is this affair giving to you? Does it make you feel powerful that he is willing to break his vows to his partner for you? Are you okay with the fact that he is cheating on someone? Ask yourself these questions and then see if maybe there is a relationship that you can be in that will not compromise integrity on your part.

3. Are you ready to be the bad person in all of this? When his partner finds out, you are going to be the bad person. You are going to be the one who is breaking up the marriage or relationship. You are the one who is dating a married man and causing his wife so much pain. If you cannot be prepared for the fallout, perhaps this is not the relationship for you.

4. Do you have any support from friends of family? You are going to need someone around in case you have a problem. If you do not have support for any problems that come up, they will build into a bigger problem and will eventually explode. You will also need someone there to support you if you walk away from the relationship and you are grieving.



  1. To me it spells low self esteem, ego, self hatred. We all know that someone that cheats on one person is high risk for doing the same to you. Get your own life, you don’t even have to ask yourself these questions.

  2. I am a married woman and my husband cheated on me. When I find out about the other woman he chose to stay with me. But what I don’t understand is why do the other woman always get so angry with the wife to the point she wants to fight the wife over a man who rightfully don’t even belong to her. In both situations both women cussed me out, called me crazy to my husband, threaten me, and I was the “B” word. I was so angry with my husband. I started beating myself up asking myself what did I do, what did I not do, and why does my husband keep cheating on me. I felt so low and my self esteem was shot. I felt my heart was literally broken. But through it all I forgave my husband and by the Grace of God my husband has made a 100% turn around. Yes my husband could’ve left me for those other women but he didn’t. But one thing about it I will not allow myself to ever put up with my husband’s unfaithfulness again. To all of you adulters (women) get your own man!!!!!!!!

    • Have you ever thought about whether the husband is telling these women that you are this bad person to get what he wants from them, with no intention of leaving as long as he can get away with it each time.
      sometimes men want the wife to fight for him because he has built up resentment and wants someone else to fight you, because he does not really care about you.
      It is so sad to hear you say that you wonder what you have done or not done, he is just a cheater waiting for the next fool to victimize, I hate to think what will happen if he takes his equipment out for a ride again and the woman is a psycho.

  3. All people that cheat have a story to tell the person outside of the marriage. They are never getting what they need from the marriage, etc. The point is that people cheat because they want to cheat. Most of the time they do love the spouse but want something different occasionally. It happens in relationships of all ages, fat, skinny, all races, rich, poor, unattractive or beautiful, whatever. It depends on the person and respect for themselves and their mate.

  4. Well as for me it seems like something I have been threw and is goin threw but the difference is my partner isn’t married but I don’t think he’s givin me all the answers I want to know but he tell me he loves me and he hope I’m being fateful and he really cares for me a lot andrealy care for him as wel we are a nice couple we treat each other well we get alone great I just get to Wat I need to know is he living with anyone cause I haven’t been inside his house yet….

  5. The best objective is to make yourself happy first! That way when tragedy strikes, your happiness isn’t in the hand of someone else,,, husband or significant other; people cheat for all sorts of reasons. Just be glad you found out some never do, and continually live a lie…smh. Don’t judge

  6. well I think this is common for all women men she and the other women get mad but how can you get mad at me for something you took from me in the first place and not really took you just borrowed it for a little while until he decides to come back home how stupid does that make you look. women need to have more self esteem and self respect for themselves before they mess with married men because you come my way I’m psycho and I’m taking you out and I’m going to take him out to I just feel so sorry if you got to cheat get a divorce what sense does it make to be married and you’re cheating on your spouse what if you bring her back a disease what are you going to say I’m sorry married men and misuses need to think before they do it

  7. For 2 years I was a side chick and didn’t even know it.. My ex girlfriend lived out of town. When I found out I ended the relationship.. When my ex girlfriend found out about me she harassed me. I was like it’s not my fault. Over the years my ex and I have kept a good friendship though. They have since so called loving relationship. I’m happy for them. Yet I still have unresolved issues with my ex.. I know I’ve tried to explain them but the ex don’t want to hear it.. The ex just keeps on saying I love you and I’m in the situation for a reason and not her.. I want it all to end but my heart still beats for my ex even after the lies and betrayal..
    So sometimes you just don’t know you are the side piece and what you do when you catch feelings.. The committed one is doing all the lying and covering up.. It’s is some that are clueless..

  8. I feel like if you go into the situation knowing that you are the side chick then there is something wrong with you. Either your self respect and esteem is low or you just don’t give a damn. And if either one of those is the case then you really need to go get some help and work on yourself.

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