You don’t know what you’ve got, ‘til it’s gone. This is a cliché phrase, but it rings true for many, especially those going through a divorce. Here are some lessons to take with you when you are going through the end of a marriage. The lessons are gleaned from Lisa Arends, Author, wellness coach, teacher and Huffington Post conrtributor.
1. You control how you react. You can turn the divorce into a thoroughly negative experience and let it take over your life, or you can accept the fact that it happened, take stock of why it happened, and find the positive things about the marriage, such as children that you may have.
2. You choose how happy you are. You cannot place that on someone else. You must make the decisions that will make you happy and not burden someone else with the responsibility.
3. You can’t run from the past. Realize what your past is and take steps to ensure that you are not going to repeat it.
4. You will never completely know someone. We all change and grow, and as we do, we get to know a little more each day about someone else. The growing never stops, so you can never fully know a person.
5. Don’t use work as a crutch or distraction. If you are working too much, or more than usual, take a step back and make sure that you aren’t using work to avoid something else, like a fight that may have happened at home.
6. Listen to your body’s cues that something isn’t right. Your body may be able to tell you faster than your mind that something is about to go down.
7. Taking care of yourself is key. Proper diet and exercise are a good start, but think about your mental health as well.
8. If you trust someone, make sure you really trust them and you aren’t just growing complacent. When you get too comfortable, that is when your guard slips and bad things can happen.
9. Don’t spend your life getting ready to do something or waiting for the exact right circumstances. The time to start is NOW.
10. Holding onto something you don’t want to let go of is healthy. Clinging to something that is not good for you in the first place is not! Learn the difference between holding and clinging.