Why Do We Settle For, Stay In Bad Relationships


By: Krystle Crossman

Do you ever look at the relationship that a friend or family member is in and wonder why they stay in such a bad situation? Have you ever had a relationship where you knew you were settling? This is actually more common than you may think and there are certain reasons why so many people get into bad relationships and stay in them even though they know that they are just settling.

1. Being alone – There are many people who cannot handle being by themselves. They feel that if they are not in a relationship they are going to be alone forever. There is a stigma that being single means that there is something wrong with you. In fact, being single shows that you can be picky about relationships instead of jumping into ones that are no good for you. Staying with someone who is bad for you will only hurt you, more so than remaining single. When you are by yourself for a while you get to gain a better understanding of relationships and who you are as a person.

2. Commitment – When you commit to someone else you are acknoledging that you have made the effort that it takes to build a strong foundation with them. But after you commit, what happens when it turns out that the relationship is no longer a good one? Many people will stay because they have made that commitment. They will ride out the bad in an effort to find some good after putting so much time and energy into the relationship to that point. Instead, realize that yes, you have put a lot into it, but are you getting enough out of it to continue?

3. Biological clock – There is so much pressure out there to have babies and settle down. This is not the life that some people want, but there are others who feel that it is one of the most important things to them. When they are under that pressure they will do whatever they can to find a relationship even if it is with someone that they know is no good for them or who is not what they are interested in at all.

4. Better than this – If you have a low sense of self-worth you may stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy because you think that you are not going to be able to do any better. You will settle for the person that you are with because of the fear that if you let them go you are either going to be stuck with someone worse or be alone forever.

5. Comparing – Many people compare their relationships with those of their friends or family members. They look at other bad relationships and rationalize that they don’t have to end theirs because by comparison, they are better off than someone else with a bad relationship.



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