Why Men Get Re-Married and Women Don’t

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downloadBy: Krystle Crossman

Out of every ten couples that walk down the aisle four of them are people that are getting remarried. Surprisingly most of those who are getting remarried are men and not women. In a survey conducted by the Pew Research Center 43% of women stated that they would get married again while 65% of men said they would. What makes getting remarried different for men and why are they more willing than women?

When a couple gets divorced it is often much harder on the woman than it is on the man. She goes through a very long emotional period that can be hard to recover from. Often times when she does recover from it she will never want to have to go through it again so she never tries serious relationships again. Men are able to bounce back from a bad split faster and have an easier time developing new relationships without the fear of being hurt again.

Another reason that women may not want to get remarried again is because once you have been married and divorced you get to find yourself all over again. You are a new person embarking on another journey but this time you are alone. You don’t have to take care of anyone but yourself (and your children if you have any). Women often enter the role of caretaker automatically when they get married to someone. You learn how to take control over your life again. You pay your own bills with your own money and you take care of everything that is needed for the home. If you have children you learn how to be a parent without the constant support that you may or may not have had from your partner. These women build a whole new life and have no desire to jump back into a relationship where they have to give all of that up again.

Even if you don’t want to get married again that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t allow yourself to find someone to be with. We are becoming more and more accepting of unconventional relationships these days and relationships that form do not have to end in marriage.

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5 Comments

  1. Moon Priestess on

    I found this post very insulting. Women realize they don’t need to remarry because we don’t need to define ourselves through relationships. This article also left out the reality that no matter the age men tend to be more sex driven than women. It’s biological. Lastly, I do not think it’s a matter of men bouncing back from a divorce and the pain it causes any faster than women, I believe because of the drive to coupled up and to have access to sexual partners men are more driven to meet that need through remarriage.

    This article spoke as if women were living back in the 1940’s! When we get divorced we learn how to be independant, pay the bills, take care of our children etc without men. How awful to ssume we don’t arleady know how to do these things before marriage?

    I just thought this article was lacking any true substance. Women search for meaning and after we learn the lessons of a failed marriage we seek a soul connection more definitively the next time around.

    • Let’s keep it 100%, when a man and woman divorce, man overall has more leverage (Men have more leverage overall anyway, just be nature. Only when things are court-appointed that things are made to be even.It really doesn’t matter what age he is, as long as he is well put together especially if his mentally is intact and his money is together he can get any women he wants. He still has the ability to earn a living, so he can rebuild himself, in most cases quickly than an female. Now let’s look at the same woman in let’s say her mid-40’s. Unless she look excellent for her age, no man is banged down her door, because really if your not physically appealing, no man is going want her long-term. He might want to have sex with her but he will be hard pressed to build a life with her. Why have you when he can have your younger cousin. All of this independent nonsense is all a coping mechanism. It’s laughable because your argument is so see through. Most men especially African-American men are virile from 8 years of age to 80 years of age, especially if he had no major illness. Biologically man and women are made different and it’s meant to be like this. Stop with the whole thing that men can’t control themselves nonsense. It’s sad. If you do your research you’ll see why men and women are the way they are is most cases. Seems like you buy into the propaganda. Even your first sentence is laughable. As if because your a women things have to be written in favor of you. The comedy in your reply made my day, thanks.

  2. I totally agree. I also think that men need women more than women need men,especially because of men’s “drive”. I’m single,never married,no kids. Never met my soulmate & that’s OK. I know numerous divorced women & many say they value their newly found independence & don’t want want to be bothered catering to some man again unless he meets their standards. Also most of the widows I know or knew, who lost their husbands after long happy marriages, say they don’t want another man because they’d had the best..their soul mates… & didn’t want anyone else. My own widowed mom,& several of my friends’ widowed moms said exactly that & absolutely refused to go along with people’s attempts to “fix them up” with men.

  3. I am a widow and was a caregiver for my husbsnd in a 30yr marriage and 10 years of that was in sickness. I won’t remarry (1) it would take 5 men to replace my husband he was very talented (2) men are hardheaded and do not care for themselves I don’t regret caring for my husband but being as caregiver is more than a notion. I can’t do that again. I go and come and I please – If I don’t have money I can’t spend it. I can’t deal with the challenges of getting a few dollars from a man.

  4. Thanks,Evette, I rest my case. I’ve heard numerous widows & divorcees say the same thing. I As I said before, I’m single. And I have a lot of single friends. We go out on group excursions,travel,et. Most of us are retired or about to retire & many of us are sick of men our age. Some are physical wrecks because they didn’t take care of themselves or partied so hard in their youth that they’re broken down & can’t get up & dance anymore & just want to sit around. Or else they’re chasing younger women & some are married but going on dating sites to find ways to cheat on their wives.

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