Why Self-Proclaimed Feminists Are Still Dating Like Women in the 1920s

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By: Krystle Crossman

Many women like to identify themselves as feminists these days. They are independent and hard-working. They like to do things on their own, without help from a man. So then why are so many of these independent feminists still dating like everyone else?

The journal Gender & Society published a study that followed 38 women who were college grads and between the ages of 25 and 40. They looked at their love lives and looked at their histories with dating. They followed their relationship patterns starting at their first date and then all the way through to marriage. Almost every single one of those women said that they would like all responsibilities of the relationship to be equal such as bringing home money, caring for children, and household chores. When it came to dating however, they seemed to revert to a pretty conventional standpoint.

Almost all of the women that were surveyed said that the man should be the one to pay for the first few dates and he should be the one to determine where the relationship stood and where it was headed. So why do these women claim to be the independent feminists but then revert back to the dating norms that go all the way back to the 1920s? They say that it is because that is how dating is traditionally done. They also say that they use his willingness to pay for the first date to gauge how chivalrous he is and what kind of character he has. All in all this is not a bad thing, but there is also no reason that this needs to be a rule of dating. Come on ladies, break out the feminist in you and take control!

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12 Comments

  1. Just a bunch of confusion, from the beginning all the way to the end. Who wrote all this BS anyway and made it the right thing to do.
    The black community as a whole is turned totally up-side-down, mainly because we walked away from the “LAWS” our creator created for us to live by, and I’m sticking to this truth because it is what it is…

    God’s Rythum…..

    I believe everything under the sun happens for a reason and this is just one of those things. Bottom-line is man stepped away from God’s Law’s, when that happens everything God created to flow in peace and harmony / a proper spiritual manner became “UNBALANCE”…
    God’s “WORD” is his “WORD”, and his “WORD IS LAW”… God didn’t change, we did the day we started clinging to the “LAWS OF MAN”….. and that’s factual rather we except it or not.

    *I will say one thing: Huh God sure does have everybody’s attention now, and God’s taking back everything that’s been stolen from his kingdom by the evil-one and his doers, so just keep walking being watchful because we really haven’t seen nothing yet.

    ALL OTHER REASONING CAN NOW TAKE A HIKE….

  2. Robert Monroe, Jr. on

    When I was in college a bunch of us were studying for finals in the graduate student lounge. Around lunch time I announced that I was hungry and was thinking about heading to the new Japanese restaurant that had opened in town. One of my fellow students, a feminist, said that she would like to come with me.

    One the bus ride into town she kept up a constant stream of feminist this and feminist that. This continued through the meal and right up until the waitress put the bill on the table. I waited to see if her feminism would extend to offering to pay for lunch. She didn’t even look at the bill. I had some money on me so I paid it.

    Later that night I went to a party and some of the guys asked me what it was like having lunch with this woman. I told them, “Well, the entire way there and during lunch it was feminist this and feminist that. It was 1999 all the way with equality between the genders…right up until the bill came. Then, all of a sudden, it went from 1999 to 1959”. The guys all laughed. One of them told his girlfriend who related what I said to the woman in question. She came barrelling through the crowd to confront me. I repeated what I said and then said, “If you’re so much into gender equity I have the receipt in my wallet…you can pay me for your portion of the bill right now”. She looked at me and walked away. I’m still waiting for my money.

    Too many women want economic and political parity while still maintaining some of the old ways that benefitted them. That’s not feminism…that’s opportunism.

    • So you were studying for finals & took time out to take a bus trip to a “Japanese Restaurant” & went to a “Party” after studying, what was the point in studying or is this entire story “Bullsh!t”

    • Terrence Hill on

      Unfortunately, feminism has devolved to purely opportunism mixed with misandry. Any vestige of the pursuit of actual equality is long gone.

  3. Did these “feminist” get down one knee and ask their man to marry them? Did they buy their own engagement ring? Can’t have it both ways.

  4. Feminism is not an excuse to be a man but a movement for equality. You can sit up here and write the crust of your thoughts but deep down you too are a feminist. Feminists are not only women but men are feminists as well. So if women want to be submissive with the men they are attracted to, what is the problem? You can’t have strong women in the world and delicate flowers in the bedroom? The comments and slant of this blog is plain stupid, unnatural, and misleading. Women are human. Women want the same rights as men. Women are capable of much more than the one dimensional lens they are viewed through. Women are human and have every right to determine how they should be treated and viewed in the world. And more importantly women do not hate men, they love them but want to be respected as they should be. Women birth men, raise them, love them and should be able to stand on a level playing field as they do. That my friends, is Feminism at it’s best. This, the stuff you write and are obviously confused about is simply that, confusion.

  5. Feminism has nothing to do with black America but alas, black folks are too stupid to realize this.

    Feminism favors white women because white women get the jobs, the promotions, the benefits. They clearly do better in the workforce than black women…period.

    Black female feminists are a joke. Whenever a sistah’ insults me with her ridiculous notions I laugh because most black women are in financial trouble, child care trouble, and any other trouble you can think of.

    And the goal of sistah’s who date is not compatibility, potential, or marriage. It is about control.

    Make him “work for it”. That is why 80% of white women are married, yet 80% of black women are single.

    • I truly believe your confusing “Feminism” with “Affirmative Action” and a Women’s struggle regardless of “Race”, “Creed” or “Religion” is her battle & her choice & doesn’t need your permission or acceptance. Sounds like you have been so angry, so bitter so long you can pick a fight on any topic or subject matter any were, good luck with that. I’ve spent my life avoiding “miserable” people like you, because you achieve, resolve or create not a damn thing & want everyone else as angry & bitter as yourself

    • @Anonymous…

      Thank you AL Hill for setting this “COWARD” straight. I know your a man Anonymous, but your a “COWARD” too. You throw rocks and hide your hand behind your back. I’m a proud black-women who is not a feminist, so don’t even try to start labeling the Redbone because you don’t know me, nor do you know all black-women. All black-women are not the ones you have the beef with dude, you didn’t sleep with all of us. All black-women didn’t work your donkey over, and excuse me dude but the Redbone and her grown daughters and her sons are not in financial trouble because we are blessed, how about you, can you say the same… humm

    • @anonymous…

      Many brothers but not all brothers are married to white-women because they are not mentally strong enough to deal with strong black-women. Many black-women are single because we choose to be, being single is well with us and we’re having lots of fun at it just like many black-men are single and loving it. There’s nothing wrong with it. I love coming home and not having to cook meals, cleanup, and take orders from a man period. I love my peaceful quite time, I love not having to compromise my life when I wanna do what I wanna do answering to nobody but myself and my creator. I ain’t missing out on no sex either because I’ve experienced the best lover in the world, I have no lack and no need in my life… I am a blessed woman, but I do get sick and tired of shallow angry foolish mentality brothers like you who can’t even look at your [email protected] self in the mirror so you can see where your lacking and what confusion you yourself has brought to some black-womans life. Its takes 2 to tango, so get over yourself and get real, come up out of your pity-party and the [email protected] lost and found… Redbone

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