If you really want to get the media buzzing, tell a story about a celebrity or politician that was caught cheating. Remember when Tiger Woods crashed his car into a tree and over a dozen women fell out of it? What about others like Kobe Bryant, The Govenator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Shaquille O”Neal-remember them? The other news maker is when the wife who was cheated on decides to stay with the cheater.
While it may seem as though a woman who has been cheated on is doing something contrary to what most women would do, it is actually more likely than many people think. In fact, up to 75% of couples who have experienced infidelity end up staying together.
So, the burning question then is why do women stay after they have been cheated on?
1. They are afraid of being alone
Many women grow up with a fantasy of “happily ever after” and when they get married, it feels like they are on their way to “happily ever after land”. When a man cheats on them, leaving him is like leaving that fantasy of the happily ever after and some women would rather have an imperfect fantasy rather than have it taken away completely. Another fact is that when couples are together, they get comfortable with each other and the thought of leaving that comfort can be scary.
2. Staying for the children
It has been proven over and over that the best way for children to grow up is in a safe and functional two parent home. While a woman may be hurt by her husband or partner’s wandering eye, she can still put her own feelings aside and decide that she will do what is best for her children.
3. Money and financial well-being
Studies show that when a man and a woman divorce, the ex-wife’s standard of living will drop by at least 25%, and for some women, it is much more than that. While we are living in a much different time than 50 years ago, when men worked and women stayed home, there are still women who rely on their husbands for essentials, such as health insurance and their homes. Even if a woman does not entirely rely on her man for her essentials, leaving her husband often means cutting the household income in half.
4. Being realistic and accommodating
Sometimes a woman will be realistic and recognize that the man she is with is a human being and no one is perfect. Looking at the relationship from this perspective, a woman can be more forgiving and accommodating of her man even if it seems to onlookers that he should be tossed to the curb. It may be that the wife looks at her man’s infidelity as an error in judgement and has hope that he will not make that error again.
5. Being tied together professionally
When two people enter a relationship, especially marriage, their lives become more and more intertwined. For some people, their marriage or relationship is not the only partnership that they have; they may also be business partners and the undoing of the marriage is not a sound professional move to make. If both parties have worked hard to get a business to a high level of success, neither of them would want to see it fail.
6. Friends, Family and Religion
When two people get married, it often involves their friends, family and religion. Sometimes leaving a marriage can feel like a betrayal of that woman’s religious beliefs and a betrayal of her friends and family.
At the end of the day, each woman has to do what is best for herself, her husband and her children and while we may not understand her decision, or may even strongly disagree with it, we must respect her decision to make it.